0ys.Sci.Thea.3000 Skydiv

Before the movie starts, we are treated to the wonderful Why Study Industrial Arts?, one of my all-time favorite shorts. Then the movie begins; Mike cogently points out about halfway through it, "Seems like they forgot to have things happen in this movie." Of course, Coleman Francis is one of the masters of making films where nothing happens. He also goes out of his way to make sure that nobody with an ounce of acting talent finds his way in front of the camera. Tony Cardoza gives one of the most wooden, thoroughly unemotional performances I've ever seen. His character Harry runs a skydiving facility in the middle of nowhere with his wife, whom he is cheating on; the other woman has bad news written all over her. The wife is unhappy but perks up when Harry hires an old friend to replace the mechanic he fired. Things are going all right for the morbid pair until a jumper panics and waits far too late (as in never) to open his chute. Sadly, all we get to see is the guy lying placidly out in the field. The feds shut Harry's little airport down momentarily, but he is soon back in business. To celebrate, the gang has a big shin-dig, complete with such unexplainable partygoers as a Scotsman, an incredibly buxom blonde, and a really weird band; ironically, given the inane importance placed on coffee in the earlier dialogue, none is apparently served at the party. After the festivities, Harry and the gang all go on a parachute jump. What they don't know is that Harry's former mechanic and former squeeze have set in motion a plot of revenge against him.

There's a lot of skydiving here, so I can't fault Francis Coleman for the title of the movie. There are several successful jumps for each less successful one, so you find yourself disappointed more often than not to see everyone's chute open. The one good thing about all the boring skydiving action is the fact that it cuts dramatically down on the inane dialogue and painfully bad acting we would otherwise be forced to endure for a longer duration. All this quiet time also gives Mike and the Bots plenty of opportunities to ridicule the movie and every thing about it. I daresay you won't come across many MST3K experiments as hilarious as this one. The Uranus skit alone makes Skydivers a must-have for MST3K fans.

And what was the deal with that guy who kept on wanting coffee?

I think I may have to watch it again for old timesake....

Crow T. ROX! You too Servo...