A Christmas Story [Blu-ray]

I was almost finished recording "A Christmas Story" on last Christmas morning. Fifteen minutes before it ended, my father walked in and said that we would get the special edition soon.

That I didn't go postal at losing an hour and a half of my favorite holiday on something that would shortly be redundant shows how much I love "A Christmas Story." This 1983 classic is not just a heartwarming little story about a loving (if bickery) family in the dour America of the late 1940s, but a hysterical comedy about what it's like to be a kid at Christmas.

Ralphie Parker's (Peter Billingsley) Christmas wishes are simple: a official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass and a "thing that tells time." But his mom says he'll shoot his eye out. So Ralphie begins a quiet crusade to get it as a present -- he writes an essay on it and even asks Santa, only to get the same terrible reply: "You'll shoot your eye out."

As the days tick down to Christmas -- with no sign of an air rifle -- Ralphie hits other obstacles when he clashes with bullies, says "the mother of all dirty words," and watches his parents battle it out over a tacky "major award" (leg lamp). But there are surprises in store for the Parker family on Christmas morning -- and some of them involve smelly bloodhounds.

Yes, the plot is pretty simple -- it's the delivery that makes it special. It's narrated by an adult Ralphie who offers his slightly sardonic take on everything ("We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice"), mingled with a hint of nostalgia. And it's completely tuned in to how kids think, and how a toy can seem like the most important thing in the world.

Fortunately the scriptwriters never condescend to the audience by adding some kind of syrupy message about love and family and all that -- after all, real life doesn't work that way. Instead there are all sorts of classic moments -- the leg lamp, Chinese turkey, the terrifying visit to Santa ("HOOOO HOOOO HOOO!"), and Ralphie's fantasies of defending his family with "Ol' Blue" against a bunch of inept, unarmed bandits.

And Jean Shepherd -- the co-writer and narrator of the movie -- deserves especial credit for bringing this movie to life with his slightly stressed-out delivery. He covers the movie with a snowstorm of one-liners and hilarious dialogue: "Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap." "He looks like a pink nightmare!" "Oh FUUUDDDDGGGE!" and others. McGavin gets many of the best ones, though ("FRA-GEE-LAY... that must be Italian!").

Billingsley is a little stiff as Ralphie, but gives the portrayal of this everykid his charming, slightly frenetic best. He's never oversmart or annoying, ever. Melinda Dillon and Darin McGavin are the comic geniuses here, with their slightly kooky but loving parents (one of the highlights is Dillon's "show me how the piggies eat!" scene, and McGavin's revolted response), and there's an array of very convincing bullies and classmates too.

"A Christmas Story" didn't get much notice when it came out in 1983. But now it's one of the quintessential holiday movies, and a must-see at Christmastime. HOOOOO HOOOOO HOOOO...

Many fans of this movie expressed their concern when it was originally released on DVD as a 'pan-&-scan' only version. After a few years, and lots of complaints, WB finally gives us the widescreen version ...NOT!

This DVD actually contians the 'pan-&-scan' fullscreen version, and it includes a fake 'matted' widescreen version.

Matted-widescreen means they took a 'fullscreen' copy of the movie, and added black bars to the top & bottom of the picture to 'simulate' a widescreen version of the movie. As a result, not only are we missing the left & right side of the picture, now we are missing part of the top & bottom as well. What the hell is wrong with Warner Bros, MGM and Universal?!?

When movie buffs and DVD fans demand a 'widescreen' version of the movie, they are demanding the ORIGINAL WIDESCREEN VERSION of the movie, not some fake matted print that simply simulates the original aspect ratio. We want the entire picture, not a picture that has been SHAPED using black bars to fool the consumer into thinking this is the whole widescreen picture as it was originally shown in theaters.

Basicly, these companies are using a play on words, and instead of spending the time to restore the true 'widescreen' print, they are just slapping some black bars on the fullscreen print that was used to make the pan-&-scan version, so it has the same aspect ratio (shape) as what we asked for.

This is an ignorant business practice, and false advertising. Granted, some movies were released in theaters fullscreen, then matted in the theater to make it widescreen to fit on their screens, but this movie is not one of them. So the matting they did on it is unjustified. They are just lazy, cheap and greedy.

I am returning my copy and I will wait (likely forever) until these companies decide to give us what we actually ask for, not some crappy 'matted' version we have to settle for...

Dont belive me? Watch both version, see how much is missing from the top & bottom of the widescreen side compared to the fullscreen side.

Decision makers at WB should be taken out and shot. Why? Because they act like they rerelease movies such as this one to 'please the customers', but thats not it... its about getting your money, and spending as little effort and resources as possible in doing so.

I was almost finished recording "A Christmas Story" on last Christmas morning. Fifteen minutes before it ended, my father walked in and said that we would get the special edition.

That I didn't go postal at losing an hour and a half on something that would shortly be redundant shows how much I love "A Christmas Story." This 1983 classic is not just a heartwarming little story about a loving (if bickery) family in the dour America of the late 1940s, but a hysterical comedy about what it's like to be a kid at Christmas.

Ralphie Parker's (Peter Billingsley) Christmas wishes are simple: a official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass and a "thing that tells time." But his mom says he'll shoot his eye out. So Ralphie begins a quiet crusade to get it as a present -- he writes an essay on it and even asks Santa, only to get the same terrible reply: "You'll shoot your eye out."

As the days tick down to Christmas -- with no sign of an air rifle -- Ralphie hits other obstacles when he clashes with bullies, says "the mother of all dirty words," and watches his parents battle it out over a tacky "major award" (leg lamp). But there are surprises in store for the Parker family on Christmas morning -- and some of them involve smelly bloodhounds.

Yes, the plot is pretty simple -- it's the delivery that makes it special. It's narrated by an adult Ralphie who offers his slightly sardonic take on everything ("We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice"), mingled with a hint of nostalgia. And it's completely tuned in to how kids think, and how a toy can seem like the most important thing in the world.

Fortunately the scriptwriters never condescend to the audience by adding some kind of syrupy message -- after all, real life doesn't work that way. Instead there are all sorts of classic moments -- the leg lamp, Chinese turkey, the terrifying visit to Santa ("HOOOO HOOOO HOOO!"), and Ralphie's fantasies of defending his family with "Ol' Blue" against a bunch of inept, unarmed bandits.

And Jean Shepherd -- the co-writer and narrator of the movie -- deserves especial credit for bringing this movie to life. He covers the movie with a snowstorm of one-liners and hilarious dialogue: "Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap." "He looks like a pink nightmare!" "Oh FUUUDDDDGGGE!" and others.

Billingsley is a little stiff as Ralphie, but gives the portrayal of this everykid his charming, slightly frenetic best. Melinda Dillon and Darin McGavin are the comic geniuses here, with their slightly kooky but loving parents (one of the highlights is Dillon's "show me how the piggies eat!" scene, and McGavin's revolted response), and there's an array of very convincing bullies and classmates too.

"A Christmas Story" didn't get much notice when it came out in 1983. But now it's one of the quintessential holiday movies, and a must-see at Christmastime. HOOOOO HOOOOO HOOOO...