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Product Description
From Publishers Weekly
For married or cohabiting couples who want to rebuild their relationship after one partner had had an affair, this tough-minded, insightful manual will be eminently practical. Clinical psychologist Spring, writing with her husband, draws on 20 years of experience treating distressed couples as she explains how both the unfaithful partner and the betrayed one can confront their doubts and fears about recommitting, constructively communicate pain and anger, restore trust, renew sexual intimacy and forgive. In jargon-free prose, she urges both partners to probe the deeper meaning of the affair, to explore why it happened and to accept responsibility for it. Recognizing unstated assumptions held by oneself or one's mate is an integral part of this process, and the authors include exercises, concise case studies and checklists of suggestions to guide readers through the difficult task of healing. This wise book fills a gap on the self-help shelf. First serial to Cosmopolitan; available on audiocassette.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Book Description
For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship -- written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity.
When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend.
There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.
After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.
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"When I was fifteen, I was raped. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
"When I was fifteen, I was raped. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
My life and sanity saver after H's Affair,
By "bsmith@baydweller.com" (TX USA) - See all my reviews
Ce commentaire est de: After The Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (Paperback)
I can not tell you how very much this ONE book did for me. After reading it over and over again I found that I was not crazy or losing it. That is was all NORMAL reactions to having your life riped apart by an affair. I found that this helped me understand both MY feeling and reactions and MY H's actions towards me and the Other woman. IT upset my H so much that HE THREW MY BOOK AWAY. WELL i just bought another one and I will continue to read until my healingis complete. I am re-building my marriage but when the pain and anger return I pick this book up and read read read. Thank YOU so much for my life back....
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
After the Affair,
By CaSandra Knight (Crestview, Florida) - See all my reviews
Ce commentaire est de: After The Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (Paperback)
I read "After the Affair" about three weeks after discovering my husband had been having an affair for a year. It was helpful for me, because I thought the feelings I was feeling were abnormal. I didn't care for the term the "lover". I don't view the other woman as that. The book did help me come to terms with my husband's behavior. I do wish it had more information about the "lover" as Dr.Springer referred to them. (personality type)etc. I would recommend it. It is soft reading at a time that you may feel angry!!!
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Classroom Tactics,
By "suzieque357" (St. Louis, MO) - See all my reviews
Ce commentaire est de: After The Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (Paperback)
The book is ok. It gives the psychological point of view that everything you do as an adult is a reflection of your childhood. The author offers suggestions on how to reflect back into your past to determine what made you/your mate have an affair. She also states that both partner's took a part in causing the affair to happen. That is a great philosophy, however, it is difficult to prove or disect. When I asked my partner why he had an affair, he simply stated "our relationship was perfect, he was just being greedy and stupid"!!! It doesn't take [$$$} to figure out why some people cheat. Some people or simply greedy, stupid or a combination of both. I personally did not find this book very useful and I am returning it today. I think the author is using classroom tactics that don't apply to everyday human life or is too complex for the average person to understand. If you believe everything people do is because of their upbringing then buy the book. If you believe life is a little more complicated than that and you want to save your relationship I recommend counseling and prayer. This book alone is not enough.
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