Eight iron butts sat in folding metal chairs at the Midland fairgrounds rally in July, explaining comfort strategies. Just listening to them made my rear sore. How else to explain the anguish le derriere must tolerate to compress 10K miles in 11 days worth of Iron Butt Rally-ism?
Against the Wind author Ron Ayres, who etched an entry in the Guinness Book for most miles ridden in X days (at the tender age of 55 no less) and who led the panel of IBR contestants, acted as though he had seen God and lived to tell the tale. Yet he was short winded on endurance riding tactics.
Others dispensed these pearls of wisdom: get comfy; sing in helmet; play math games; run around bike at gas ups; stand on pegs, stick face in wind; dream of next steak; suck fireballs.
Held on every odd year, the IBR ought to be classified as an extreme sport. This race makes ESPN's X-Games look like Bambi Goes Hollywood. These crazies crisscross the U.S.A. twice, collecting points by hanging a pink towel at designated side road attractions, taking a Polaroid for proof, catching a catnap on the auxiliary tank before remounting again at 3:23 a.m.
The insomniac who can ride 1,000 miles per day on maximum sleep deprivation and minimal state trooper interference, boldly avoiding bodily harm while hallucinating at 100 mpg, wins a $13 trophy.
Nearly half the field drops out. Dehydration is common; misjudgments more so. Yet the thrill of completing the world's toughest endurance race is said to change one's life permanently, providing one still has a life to change.
As a read, Against the Wind is a page-turning adventure that constantly begs the question, "how?" Evidently there are vast reserves of kidney juice in storage waiting for just such a feat.
In 1995, the rally year Ayres' book documents, of the top 10 finishers from a pack of 55 entrants, half rode upon the esteemed BMW K1100, if not the R1100. The winner? A 46-year-old financial advisor from Salt Lake City astride a '94 K1100LT.
In these pages considerable time is spent relating individual trials and errors, such as when somebody failed to use his side stand, or when another forgot to remove his sunglasses when applying eye drops.
Just reading this grueling account caused me to oversleep and run late for work.