Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett, and you’ve got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love… Agnes Crandall’s life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she’s staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane - no last name, just Shane - and he has his own problems: He’s got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn’t so little, that his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes’s house, and that his last hit was a miss, Shane’s life isn’t looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hitmen show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with the intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and - most dangerous of all - each other.
Agnes and the Hitman
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From Publishers Weekly
Crusie and Mayer (Don't Look Down) reunite to pen this mostly successful romantic comedy with a hint of action-adventure. Agnes Crandall is a feisty food writer and cookbook author on her third fiancé, Taylor Beaufort. Though their future looks bright, their romance is curdling, partly due to their deal with widowed mob wife Brenda Fortunato (who is selling them her old house) to hold a Fortunato family wedding at their house in exchange for three months of payments. After an armed thug tries to kidnap Agnes's dog, who appeared in the local paper wearing a gaudy necklace that Agnes believes (incorrectly) to be junk, a Fortunato family friend (and mobster) asks hit man Shane to keep an eye on Agnes. (He does more, of course, than keep an eye on her.) Brenda, meanwhile, may be trying to screw Agnes out of the house, and then there's the matter of a body and $5 million possibly hidden in thebasement. Crusie and Mayer have crafted a bubbly novel with enough convenient coincidences, caricatured characters and ridiculous situations to make screenwriters of goofball date movies proud; amusing banter and surprising moments of poignancy keep the mushrooming plot barely in check. (Aug.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Booklist
*Starred Review* Food writer Agnes Crandall knows how to use a frying pan to create delicious meals and to deal with difficult men. It's that second skill that gets her into trouble. When a masked intruder tries to take her bloodhound Rhett, Agnes whacks him with a frying pan full of hot raspberry sauce. The teenage dognapper ends up dead; but before the police arrive, Shane, the nephew of an old family friend, turns up at Two Rivers, the faded southern mansion Agnes calls home, to offer his professional services. Shane quickly discovers that while Agnes certainly seems capable of taking care of herself, she could use a little help dealing with a two-timing fiancé, a local crime family determined to kidnap Rhett, and a long-lost fortune. A southern, Mob-flavored, flamingo-motif wedding provides the richly comic setting for the second literary collaboration between the highly entertaining team of Crusie and Mayer. Generously seasoned with an acerbic wit and graced with a wonderfully original pair of protagonists and a wickedly amusing cast of secondary characters, Agnes and the Hitman is fabulous fun. Charles, John
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Customer Reviews
Most helpful customer reviews
By Pat the cat
TOP 1000 REVIEWER
Format:Mass Market Paperback
This author was recommended as comparable in style to Evanovich....well it was but, it was toooooo hectic...it was like reading a "car chase" with the evil Brenda character creating way too much havoc (way over the top)... Just too contrived for me. So, nice but, I don't think that I'll read another of Crusie's books. It just felt like it was pointless. The writing is nice though, with good dialogues. Just not my cup of tea. I give it 3 out of 5 stars (good).
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Gail Cooke
TOP 50 REVIEWER
Format:Audio CD
She's known as food writer Cranky Agnes. Actually that's really a pretty fair description of heroine Agnes Crandall at and away from her typewriter. "Fair description" may be an inaccuracy because authors Cruise and Mayer can come up with the most outre portraits of the characters they create, all of which makes for fun, fast-paced reading. This is to say nothing of their plots that twist and turn entertaining readers with a spicy, amusing, romantic tale.
Agnes would very much like to have a children, so thinking maybe third times a charm, she's on fiancé no. 3. The pair have just bought a house from a mobster's widow, Brenda Fortunat0 who offers them three months payments in return for having a family wedding in the house (and what a group that is!).
Nonetheless while Agnes is planning the wedding, a dognapper appears on the scene trying to snatch Agnes's dog. Why? Because the canine was wearing an eye popping necklace in a newspaper photograph. Agnes, of course, believes the jewels are paste or worse. Then, her bedroom window is put to good use when Shane climbs in. He's there to protect Agnes, and couldn't be happieir about the assignment after he sees her. (The feeling is mutual).
Missing money, a dead body, a conniving Brenda, Fortunato relatives, and hitmen all combine to make Agnes's life not only iffy but a mess.
Voice performer Sandra Burr brings this comedic collection of characters to vibrant life. She's a gifted actress and director who not only grabs listeners but holds them captive until we hear the last line.
- Gail Cooke
Agnes would very much like to have a children, so thinking maybe third times a charm, she's on fiancé no. 3. The pair have just bought a house from a mobster's widow, Brenda Fortunat0 who offers them three months payments in return for having a family wedding in the house (and what a group that is!).
Nonetheless while Agnes is planning the wedding, a dognapper appears on the scene trying to snatch Agnes's dog. Why? Because the canine was wearing an eye popping necklace in a newspaper photograph. Agnes, of course, believes the jewels are paste or worse. Then, her bedroom window is put to good use when Shane climbs in. He's there to protect Agnes, and couldn't be happieir about the assignment after he sees her. (The feeling is mutual).
Missing money, a dead body, a conniving Brenda, Fortunato relatives, and hitmen all combine to make Agnes's life not only iffy but a mess.
Voice performer Sandra Burr brings this comedic collection of characters to vibrant life. She's a gifted actress and director who not only grabs listeners but holds them captive until we hear the last line.
- Gail Cooke
By Mark Young
TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Hardcover
This book was decidedly lukewarm for me. It had moments of great comedy, but just too slow and plodding overall. Too much stereotypical mob stuff and crazy characters who act out in extreme ways. I liked the character of Agnes and her roundness and abilities with a cast-iron frying pan. The relationship between her and the hit man was believable and the best part of the novel. Too bad they had to get caught up in all those other shenanigans which were unbelievable and not even interesting. Wouldn't have kept reading (listening) if it wasn't on CD in my car.
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