An Affair of the Mind [Paperback]

I struggled with pornography for several years before and after I was married. This book provided a better understanding of the chains that I was in and gave my wife a perspective on what I was struggling with. It also gave me a small perspective of what she (my wife) was dealing with.

That said, I think this book helped me to understand my chains, but did very little to help me be free from them. Setting Captives Free: Pure Freedom <ASIN: 1885904304> finally helped me to allow Christ to set me free fully and completely.

The two books are excellent companion pieces, though. Affair of the Mind did help with understanding and opening a dialog between my wife and I, but it is only a step and not the final answer.

From the extraodinary comments from other reviewers of this book, its easy to see the value of Laurie Hall's words. Unless you have walked through the devastation of this kind of long-term infidelity in your marriage, you won't get it. If you enjoy pornography as a part of your own life, you won't get it.

For those who do get it, this book is a lifeline. Her words are dynamic, vivid descriptions of the emotional wreckage left from discovering sexual addiction's stranglehold on men and the erosion of the marriage relationship. Laurie tracks her emotional and spiritual journey through this hell with stunning honesty. In the midst of my own walk through hell last year, she described EXACTLY where I was in my pain. Other women I know who are going through the same situation say the same thing. We read and re-read her words, and find sanity.

The best part in this book is the author's struggle in finding a place in God through the pain. He IS the way through this, and by following in another's footsteps, we can do it, too. She lights the path that would be hard to follow in darkness, and ultimately finds her Redeemer as her hope. I pray that others reading this book will find the same.

I read the review from the person who thought there were no practical guidelines in this book for dealing with the addict. I understand that feeling, and the pain of that hopelessness. But there is a wealth of information in the pages of this book, and a clear blueprint of the process of surviving the impact of porno in your own life. I think I had to read it three times before I accepted what Ms. Hall was saying: This is a battle for the soul of the guy you married - not a fight against *him*, but against the *evil* that's gotten its tentacles into him. And the battle is terrifying, because you have to willingly go into a freefall of faith in God. You have to seperate yourself from the evil, set your parameters, and let The Father go to work. And in my own situation, it *worked*. My marriage was completely dead, my family was destroyed, and we were all the way to divorce court before the evil broke. The journey was wonderful and horrible, exhausting and exhilerating; but, in learning how to truly love - and fight for - my family, God revealed His power in ways that even I, witnessing the events as they unfolded, have trouble comprehending. Miracle after miracle arrived, while I stood by obediently and watched, as the power of loving someone until I ached from the agony resulted in a man who has been broken, cleaned out, and made whole. We are together now, my family is reunited and, for the first time, genuine. There are echoes of the past, and though we are vigilant against evil, it's still tough at times. But so far, so good. So miraculous, actually. Don't discard the wisdom in this book until you've read it a few times, because her advice can feel brutal. But she also gives the recipe for *truly* loving your husband, and saving yourself and your children at the same time. I also cannot recommend strongly enough the book "Bold Love," by Dan Allender. The two should be read together. Love is not about being nice, passively forgiving everything. And loving someone who has lied to you, betrayed you, cheated on you, destroyed your trust in all good things, and has done his level best to hate you - which is what porno is designed to do to the family - feels like the ultimate injustice. But if you can bring yourself to do it anyway, you'll come to understand the love of Jesus Christ in ways you never expected - because you'll be living as He lived.
My first review was 8/24/2000. I was furious, agonizing, and hopeless. A new Christian, I might have walked away from it all and found a new guy - like so many women do - if not for this book getting ahold of me. I hope the person who sees no help in its pages will read it a few more times. If only for her own sake.