Apeshit [Paperback]

I have read many of Carlton Mellick's books. This is one of his later ones and probably my favorite. It's one of my favorites because I share a love of b- and Euro- horror movies. The publisher promises this in the book description and it lives up to it. I feel weird describing this as a "fun" book. Because some of the things that happen in it are definitely not funny at all. I thought it was hilarious. Another person I know says it's the most disturbing Mellick book he's ever read.

Many of Mellick's books are set in alternate, bizarro worlds. This one is grounded in our world, but only on the surface. If it does belong to a world it would be b-movie world. A strange form of hilarious, misguided logic governs b-movie world. Take the group of sub-normals that make up the cast of this book. You know them. They seem to be the socially well-adjusted people that play sports, engage in cheerleading, and shop at the mall, probably at stores like Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch. Yet, put through the ringer of Ape****, they are here only for our entertainment. So, they're going to a cabin in the woods. Do the dead animals scattered around the perimeter deter them? This is b-movie world. They are completely undeterred. When they enter the cabin and find dozens of bronze ornamental hands decorating the living room, do they turn back. Absolutely not! Bowling balls hanging from the attic ceiling? Certainly not normal but also not cause for alarm. And the characters themselves... They have problems. Many, many problems. Not only do they have to compete with a monster that may or may not be lurking on the grounds of a cabin, they have to deal with a whole array of social deviations, fetishes, and some really harsh memories. To go into too much detail would ruin the surprise element that kept me turning the pages.

What makes this a bizarro book? Well, besides the author being one of the founding members of this recently named genre, this book contains lines like this: "Oh, snap," Jason says. "It's my brother's old Theremin." Football players and cheerleaders excited by the Theremin? I don't mean to generalize but that's the type of thing that is only common in a bizarro universe.

As well as being bizarro to the core, this book would fit comfortably in the realm of extreme horror, although it's different than most of the extreme horror books I've read. Extreme horror typically focuses on violent elements, often times elevating them to the extent that gore, dismemberment, and rape dominant and overshadow the sometimes flimsy plot. Don't get me wrong, the plot of Ape**** is flimsy as wet paper, but "plot" is not the reason to read it. There are many shocking moments in this book. But Mellick writes with such sparse clarity and an ear for off-kilter/dumbly humorous dialogue that I felt like he was trying to shock the reader but not necessarily offend them. It's all written very matter-of-factly, which was oddly refreshing, and I think this lends it a sense of black humor and earns it a place as an instant cult classic on any horror or bizarro bookshelf.

If you love the slew of trashy horror movies out there and want a well-written book that revels in absolute, unapologetic love of these movies, pick up Ape****. It has some things to show you. It wants to tell you about six teenagers who go to a cabin in the woods...

4 AND 1/2 STARS.

After reading this book, it took me less than one minute to go online and order more titles from this author. He's that good. I've heard his name mentioned as one of the better writers of the new Bizarro genre, but I don't think that does him justice. Forget whether you like Bizarro or not, or even if you know that heck that is. Mellick is a great writer. Period. His prose is simple and direct, always cutting through the fat to get to the meat... and I mean the juicy meat. This book had a few typos, felt too short, and had an ending that was wrapped up a little too quickly, but it was still the most fun I've had reading all year.

I do hope that Mellick will continue to write in the horror genre and although this book is considered Bizarro, I think it could fit in perfectly in the horror genre without that confusing label. Take the storyline of a Richard Laymon book, add in the depraved sex of Edward Lee, the darkness of Greg F. Gifune, the gore factor of Wrath James White, the strange reality of Tim Waggoner, and the complicated characters and spontaneous violence of Tom Piccirilli, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what you're in for. A must read for fans of extreme horror.

All of the classic elements are there: six teenagers go to a remote cabin that doesn't get cell phone reception, something seems wrong, things get weird, sex and drinking are involved, something from the woods tries to get them. This is the storyline of some of the best schlock features ever made, and this book pulls them all off with gusto. This is one of the fastest paced books you will find.

The action never stops and the characters are interesting. One couple has a fetish you will have to read to believe. Another girl has some disturbing and very believable problems with her brother and religious mother. The other three people have an interesting three way relationship. These character stories unfold as a monster in the woods with a baby fetus sticking out of its head tries to kill them. One problem... they won't die.

Some of the most interesting parts: the bowling balls hanging from the attic ceiling (never explained), the cheerleader (with the coolest name, Desdemona) with the tattoos and mohawk who still considers herself preppy and not a punk, the theremin. My only problem was that Jason's brother's death was never fully revealed. The ending was satisfactory and the wrap-up was better than I expected it to be. Overall, this is one of Mellick's best books. It pushes limits in places but never goes overboard. I would like to see this one turned into a movie, if only to see the baby head fetus explode.

› Go to Amazon.com to see all 41 reviews  4.4 out of 5 stars