|
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
Frequently Bought Together
Product Details
|
Product Description
Product Description
DEADLY NINJA WISDOM FOR THE NON-NINJA
Carefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path.
After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been.
For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as:
•How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan
•The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin
•Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet
•Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab
•How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy
•Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks
•How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage
•What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode
•Death Aide certification
•And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page!
Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.
Carefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path.
After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been.
For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as:
•How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan
•The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin
•Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet
•Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab
•How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy
•Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks
•How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage
•What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode
•Death Aide certification
•And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page!
Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.
About the Author
Text painfully transcribed by DOUGLAS SARINE and KENT NICHOLS, the award-winning
creators of the online series Ask A Ninja.
creators of the online series Ask A Ninja.
Inside This Book
(Learn More)
Suggested Tags from Similar Products(What's this?)Be the first one to add a relevant tag (keyword that's strongly related to this product)
|
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Customer Reviews
|
Share your thoughts with other customers:
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Most helpful customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
funny stuff,
By Darren Pelletier (New Brunswick, Canada) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon (Paperback)
The fist half of the book. youll laughing your butt off! cause its reallyyyy funny.after the half... isshh it can become a bit redondant but still funny.
Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
4.4 out of 5 stars (34 customer reviews) 30 of 33 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Pure Ninja Awesomness,
By Hailmarypassproductions "mpf" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon (Paperback)
When my Ninja Handbook arrived I was full of sweet anticipation and let me say...it NEVER disappoints! It's hilarious and page-turnery and full of charts and illustrations and pictures and seriously funny instructions and guidelines and exercises and beasts and weapons...and I mean PACKED FULL! It's got somewhere around 300 pages and I didn't want to stop reading it. And it's FUNNY...pop-culture skewering, very well written and non-repetitive. Two last words before I die: BUY IT!
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book turned me into a lethal death machine,
By Scott C. Sigler "Author of INFECTED" - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon (Paperback)
I can't thank the International Order of Ninjas enough for allowing this book to be published. I killed two grandmothers and a wiener dog, and that was before I finished the third chapter! I will never go to jail, because I can smoke-bomb my way out of any situation. An indefensible reference for all that want to become phantasmal assassins lurking in the shadows of society.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
This Book Is Approved by the International Order of the Ninja for a Reason!,
By Epignosis - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon (Paperback)
This book is THE book if you want one that will teach you all about being a ninja. You too can learn why the ninja is looking forward to killing you soon and maybe even why he's going to do it.[...]Buy this book. You'll be glad you did both. They're both very funny, smart and entertaining. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and hey if you're lucky you might even live to tell about it. |
|
Listmania!
|
|
Look for similar items by category
- Books > Entertainment > Humour > Satire
- Books > New & Used Textbooks > Reference
Look for similar items by subject
Feedback
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
