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Product Description
Product Description
It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce. In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children. While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids. Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Nazis are a**holes, quite literally,
By
This review is from: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (Paperback)
Cameron Pierce's novel A** Goblins of Auschwitz is probably the funniest and most morbid story about the pains of growing up. It is currently the book holding the award for craziest black comedy in memory. This book goes places you wouldn't expect a book to dare to go in this scatological, cannibalistic romp through a planet wide concentration camp run by anthropomorphical anuses. Yes, anthro now applies to a**es and these a**es are nazi scum. Problem?Bicycles are made out of the brains of dead children and sentient blow up dolls are running around everywhere, but the thing that will really decide if this book is for you is whether you are okay with the title. It's the rare case where you can judge the book by the cover, or, to put it better, what you think of the cover will decide whether or not this book is for you. There are really only two responses to a book like this, and those are revulsion and hilarity. Not much middle ground in this case, and if you were okay with the title and the monster on the cover then this book will make you laugh harder then you have in some time. Everyone else needs to stay away from this book. Sorry, but you've probably figured that for yourselves. Goblins is big on promises but the occasional vague passage makes the book more of a punch to the jaw instead of the punch to the gut that you might be expecting. It is the strangest take on the 'loss of childhood' story and certainly a book to be reread as soon as you've finished it because, yes, it really does mess with your head.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
4.2 out of 5 stars (46 customer reviews) 17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
ass goblins,
By J. David Osborne - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (Paperback)
Growing up, I watched a lot of TV. Nickelodeon, mostly. Ah! Real Monsters, Rocko's Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy. They were light-hearted and funny, sure, but deep-down they were kind of unsettling, and with your eyes glued to the tube, you felt like you were given a glimpse into truly twisted minds, minds that were trying their very best to warn their audience of the darkness of adulthood to come. These cartoons with their drab colors and their focus on offal and snot and lint and gas were just too ugly and honest to be on the Disney channel."Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" is what happens when those kids, so mesmerized by the cartoons of their youth, grow up and write stories of their own. AGOA is a Nickelodeon cartoon pushed to the extreme and injected with cynicism. You're born, things are good, you start to check out girls, and before you know it a goblin has his finger in your ass and is turning your friends into cider, you're mutating and growing wings and you're becoming one of them and you're rebelling and you'd do anything to get out of the prison you're in. I promised myself I wouldn't use the word "imaginative", but AGOA is so filled to brimming with the products of a big, Mountain Dew-fueled brain that other words fail. The first half of the book is gripping, every page contains a unique, surreal image or idea, but it does not let up for a moment, and if you are not careful, by the end it could bury you under them. I enjoyed the quick pace and the brevity, but I also found the last twenty pages to be exhausting, a wild dash for the finish could have been sharper, more fleshed out. That said, I can't wait to see what Pierce will do next. With an imagination as fertile and frenzied as his, I'm sure I won't have to wait long to find out. 7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Ass Goblin Awesomeness,
By S. Zourelias - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (Paperback)
After seeing the title, Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, I just had to read. I'm glad I did, while the story had quite a bizarro overtone the book was really just about the lose of childhood and the struggles of growing up. I would tell everyone to read this book, I loved every page :)
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
I never thought I would like it.,
By Reading Geek - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (Paperback)
Quite possibly one of the most disgusting books I've ever read and I couldn't put it down. I got it for the title, but I finished reading it for the storyline. You will get wrapped up in the story if you aren't careful. I only gave it 4 stars because of the gross factor.
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