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Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood [Paperback]

Laurie Notaro
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
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Book Description

July 8 2003
The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-up life.

In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air-conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-dyed shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same zits-and-all candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon.

In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie contemplates family, home improvement, and the horrible tyrannies of cosmetic saleswomen. She finds that life doesn't necessarily get any easier as you get older. But it does get funnier.

Product Details

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Notaro (The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club) opens with enough dumped-by-loser-boyfriend stories that readers will share her skepticism when Good Guy finally appears. "He was an endangered species," Notaro writes. "[T]he only thing that could make him more valuable was if he were albino." Since Notaro can't keep Good Guy drunk and clueless forever, she switches to Plan B: frying cutlets, her major life skill. It works, and soon enough they're happily married. If this sounds mature and responsible, guess again. Other people might be able to buy a house, babysit their nephew, buy a new bra or seed their lawn without it being the least bit funny, but not Notaro. Consider the time she and her husband got a new puppy so untrainable it ate from the kitty litter box. Watching her husband get down on all fours and growl like a dog to show kitty who's in charge, Notaro comments, "Well, then, I'm not going to bother making dinner.... The cat just had a bowel movement big enough for the both of you." True, there's a lot of bathroom humor, but it's Notaro's odd take on the ordinary that's funniest. "H&R Block is really Practice Prison," a taste of what tax evaders can expect. Her sister using a breast pump looks like "a hybrid of Barbarella and a Holstein." And who else but Notaro can whisper to her (unwanted) cat as she crates him up for a trip to the vet: "if you see a bright, white light, run toward it"?
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Notaro's first book, The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club (2002), achieved cult status and became a surprise best-seller. Returning with another uproarious collection of personal essays from the dating front, Notaro proves that her first-time success wasn't a fluke. Detailing her trip down the bumpy road to matrimony, Notaro outrageously entertains with a sweetly skewed outlook on everything from breaded meats to baby wipes. Having endured boyfriends from hell and survived kamikaze-style dating, Notaro does the unthinkable by getting someone to fall in love with her! This, in Notaro's world, is not the equivalent of the Holy Grail. First, there are in-laws to impress and weddings to plan, both without inflicting bodily harm or doing jail time. Next come the challenges of permanent cohabitation, with its surprise revelations of untoward bodily functions and appearances. Finally, there are the joys of first-time home ownership and joint income-tax filing. Notaro tackles them all with the inimitable, acerbic wit and ruthless, self-deprecating candor that have deservedly earned her legions of loyal fans. Carol Haggas
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars very very funny new writer June 26 2004
By A Customer
Notaro is a very promising new voice on the non fiction scene. This book is very funny but not quite as hilarious as her last one Idiot Girls. However that said, I read the book in a matter of days because I couldn't put it down. I kept drawing attention to myself in public places because I laughed out loud so much while reading it.
You don't need to be in the midst of planning a wedding to enjoy Notaro's sharp wit and unique observations. This is a great book to read on the beach this summer.
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5.0 out of 5 stars This book sounds familiar March 22 2004
This is a well-written and wonderfully hilarious look at Laurie Notaro's experiences with adulthood, marriage, and children. From finding a good man and marrying him before he gets away, to her insecurities about her physical appearance, this book will keep you rolling with her clever wit and cut-to-the bone reality of middle-aged life. Everything about this book reminds me of a very special woman who, regrettably, is no longer in my life. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she had written it herself.
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5.0 out of 5 stars the funniest book. March 18 2004
I related to so much of what she said. This woman is funny. These stories are short, so if you are pressed for time they are perfect! Nothing is sacred here, she is direct and honest about her life and the hilarity that ensues from her wedding to gyn visits.
Best book I have ever read, no kidding.
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5.0 out of 5 stars amusing though gross March 18 2004
By momazon
Despite the title, Laurie Notaro writes more about her life during the first years of marriage than just what leads up to her wedding (although that too is pretty funny.) In fact, her nephew Nicholas is born and ages to three years or so as the stories progress.
I am amazed how many of these memoirs begin with "something smelled bad." The visual picture she paints of these stinks made me want to throw up. Same with all the mention of anything that had to do with feces, both animal and otherwise. There was more mention to poop and vomit thgan a Ben Stiller movie.
Still, she's funny and a great writer. It's entertaining fare for a few hours of commuting on the bus or train.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Happy accident! Jan. 8 2004
I really was not expecting to enjoy this book. All my friends read it and bragged about it. I'm a thick novel kind of gal so I was hesitant. I read Fat Bride in one day and laughed my ass off. This sounds so cliche, but I couldn't put it down until I finished. What I like is that Notaro's voice speaks for the everywoman. It doesn't matter what your background or lifestyle is, if you are a 20, 30 or 40-something wife you will 'get it' and love every minute of it.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it as much as the first. Jan. 6 2004
I think I enjoyed this book even more than Laurie's first book. Now that I'm married too, I could relate to a lot of her stories - especially when it comes to the husband. Man hands. Know all about it! I'm *SO* looking foward to the third book. I wish Laurie had a daily blog so fans like me (who were used to reading her columns once a week before she became famous) could read her stuff without waiting so long between books! Good job Laurie!!!
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5.0 out of 5 stars I was in pain from laughing so hard! Dec 12 2003
This is, hands down, the most hilarious book I've read in a long time. I could not put it down for a minute--I read the whole thing in a matter of hours. I laughed so hard that I had tears streaming down my face the whole time, and my abdominal muscles were actually sore. Laurie's descriptions of her life events are ones we can all relate to, but it's her incredible wit that brings out the humor in every situation. (In fact, I had to go back and read some chapters several times, because they were so funny.) I've made my mother, my friends, and even my husband read it, and they all agree. I can't wait to read her other books!
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3.0 out of 5 stars Phyllis Diller Again? Dec 12 2003
Laurie Notaro has a way of coming up with the perfect phrase. You get an immediate, and often graphic, image of just what she is describing. So it's a shame that she can't take this talent and an obvious sense of humor to do something other than making herself out to be a pathetic, fat, ugly woman with a bad temper.
From the photo on the back and inside the back cover, it does not appear that Notaro is either ugly or fat. And since she has an evidently devoted new husband, she probably isn't the unloveable wretch she describes in Autobiography of a Fat Bride. So this whole schtick is apparently just a device she uses for laughs. Well, it wears thin fast. This is Phyllis Diller recycled and it wasn't that funny back then.
The only person who comes out of this book only mildly scathed is her husband, who is a two-dimensional nobody. The poor guy doesn't even get a name. He goes from "boyfriend" to "groom" to "husband." Jeez, even if you don't want to use his real name, make something up, Laurie, I mean, you are a writer.
I read this book knowing that as a baby boomer, I am not the intended audience, but it seemed to me that the subjects of dating, family, getting married, etc. were fairly common, and universal enough so that you didn't have to be an Idiot Girl to enjoy Autobiography. Wrong.
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