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Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood [Paperback]

Laurie Notaro
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
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Book Description

July 8 2003
The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-up life.

In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air-conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-dyed shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same zits-and-all candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon.

In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie contemplates family, home improvement, and the horrible tyrannies of cosmetic saleswomen. She finds that life doesn't necessarily get any easier as you get older. But it does get funnier.

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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Notaro (The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club) opens with enough dumped-by-loser-boyfriend stories that readers will share her skepticism when Good Guy finally appears. "He was an endangered species," Notaro writes. "[T]he only thing that could make him more valuable was if he were albino." Since Notaro can't keep Good Guy drunk and clueless forever, she switches to Plan B: frying cutlets, her major life skill. It works, and soon enough they're happily married. If this sounds mature and responsible, guess again. Other people might be able to buy a house, babysit their nephew, buy a new bra or seed their lawn without it being the least bit funny, but not Notaro. Consider the time she and her husband got a new puppy so untrainable it ate from the kitty litter box. Watching her husband get down on all fours and growl like a dog to show kitty who's in charge, Notaro comments, "Well, then, I'm not going to bother making dinner.... The cat just had a bowel movement big enough for the both of you." True, there's a lot of bathroom humor, but it's Notaro's odd take on the ordinary that's funniest. "H&R Block is really Practice Prison," a taste of what tax evaders can expect. Her sister using a breast pump looks like "a hybrid of Barbarella and a Holstein." And who else but Notaro can whisper to her (unwanted) cat as she crates him up for a trip to the vet: "if you see a bright, white light, run toward it"?
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Notaro's first book, The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club (2002), achieved cult status and became a surprise best-seller. Returning with another uproarious collection of personal essays from the dating front, Notaro proves that her first-time success wasn't a fluke. Detailing her trip down the bumpy road to matrimony, Notaro outrageously entertains with a sweetly skewed outlook on everything from breaded meats to baby wipes. Having endured boyfriends from hell and survived kamikaze-style dating, Notaro does the unthinkable by getting someone to fall in love with her! This, in Notaro's world, is not the equivalent of the Holy Grail. First, there are in-laws to impress and weddings to plan, both without inflicting bodily harm or doing jail time. Next come the challenges of permanent cohabitation, with its surprise revelations of untoward bodily functions and appearances. Finally, there are the joys of first-time home ownership and joint income-tax filing. Notaro tackles them all with the inimitable, acerbic wit and ruthless, self-deprecating candor that have deservedly earned her legions of loyal fans. Carol Haggas
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Phyllis Diller Again? Dec 12 2003
Laurie Notaro has a way of coming up with the perfect phrase. You get an immediate, and often graphic, image of just what she is describing. So it's a shame that she can't take this talent and an obvious sense of humor to do something other than making herself out to be a pathetic, fat, ugly woman with a bad temper.
From the photo on the back and inside the back cover, it does not appear that Notaro is either ugly or fat. And since she has an evidently devoted new husband, she probably isn't the unloveable wretch she describes in Autobiography of a Fat Bride. So this whole schtick is apparently just a device she uses for laughs. Well, it wears thin fast. This is Phyllis Diller recycled and it wasn't that funny back then.
The only person who comes out of this book only mildly scathed is her husband, who is a two-dimensional nobody. The poor guy doesn't even get a name. He goes from "boyfriend" to "groom" to "husband." Jeez, even if you don't want to use his real name, make something up, Laurie, I mean, you are a writer.
I read this book knowing that as a baby boomer, I am not the intended audience, but it seemed to me that the subjects of dating, family, getting married, etc. were fairly common, and universal enough so that you didn't have to be an Idiot Girl to enjoy Autobiography. Wrong.
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This book is a true autobiography of Laurie Notaro. Actually, to call it an autobiography would be unfair. It's more like a series of based-on-real-life-events stories.
Laurie is an odd woman, one I can identify with. She is funny and smart in her recollections of family and household antics.
I found the book similar to Candy and Me due to the efforts the author takes to distance herself from her readers and the one-story-at-a-time approach to writing. During the entire book, I'm not sure we ever learn Laurie's husband's name. That fact alone disturbed me. Why is it omitted?
There's no plot going on with the book at all. Each chapter can be read independently of each other. Again, while that's not a bad thing, it just made the book a choppy read for me.
For some reason I was under the impression that this book would be an actual tale of a fat bride. Maybe the struggles a fat bride has to go through to get her wedding pulled off. In fact, it's the story of a *slightly* overweight woman. Maybe two or three chapters are spent discussing the wedding. Guess I should have read the cover better.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Makes you laugh so hard you'll snort Aug. 3 2003
By C2015
L. Notaro writes for us. Us women who just don't care about shaving our legs everyday, keeping our houses spotless and as long as the pets are fed and we eat at least decent one meal a day in between the candy bars and junk food we'll survive just fine, thank you. I absolutely adored her first book and started this one before I was out of the parking lot of the bookstore. Thank goodness I wasn't driving or it would have been really difficult to turn the pages and remember to signal.
From "mice" to weird neighbors, Ms. Noaro notices and appreciates the truly inane things that make life really interesting and worthwhile. She's the funniest writer I've ever read and I hope she has many more books to come.
Proving there really is someone out there who will love us just the way we are and then actually marry us turns into very
You know those things you talk about ONLY to your best women friends? L. Notaro writes about those things with wit, humor and a wry sense of good-naturedness about herself as well.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Laurie Comes Through Again! Idiot Girls ROCK! July 9 2003
Laurie Notaro has come thorough once again with humor that idiot girls everywhere can relate to. Side splitting humor that leaves you in tears with laughter. Or at least in a spot where people look at you funny for laughing yourself to tears while reading on the bus on the way to work. Laurie appears to have grown up a bit in this book but we all know it is not true. This book left me looking more at the humor that goes with every day pretend adulthood, buying a house, owning a house, getting married, married life, being an aunt, entertaining neighbors who do stupid things, and of course who can give up on their family as a source for humor. We have grown past the 12 stages of stinking drunk (most of the time) and now deal with killer bees, red mice, spoiled children (including husbands), and home improvement nightmares. A wonderful end to the book with very touching while still funny story involving "blue-eyes" himself. A book that is sure to keep you in its grips from cover to cover. For Idiot Girls Everywhere. Rock On! You Rule!
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5.0 out of 5 stars This Book is Hilarious!! Sept. 2 2003
Wow, what an amazing writer Laurie Notaro is! Why had I never heard of her? And when can is she going to release another book? I will be first in line at the bookstore when she does!(and don't try and weasel your way in front of me either...)
Autobiography of a Fat Bride is somewhat of a mixture of a short story format and a novel. The stories all tie together, but you can read them individually and still follow along perfectly. One hilarious, short chapter follows another.
The most amazing aspect of this book is just how real it is. Laurie says things that we all laugh about behind closed doors, when the "real us" is cut loose. Embarrassing "booger jokes" and "jelly roll bellies" are thrown together with mortage horror stories and new marriages, to make an altogether perfect novel. Laurie's formula of humor and frankness makes her one of my new favorite authors! Write more, Laurie! Please.....
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Most recent customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars very very funny new writer
Notaro is a very promising new voice on the non fiction scene. This book is very funny but not quite as hilarious as her last one Idiot Girls. Read more
Published on June 26 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars This book sounds familiar
This is a well-written and wonderfully hilarious look at Laurie Notaro's experiences with adulthood, marriage, and children. Read more
Published on March 22 2004 by Chris Frost
5.0 out of 5 stars amusing though gross
Despite the title, Laurie Notaro writes more about her life during the first years of marriage than just what leads up to her wedding (although that too is pretty funny. Read more
Published on March 18 2004 by momazon
5.0 out of 5 stars the funniest book.
I related to so much of what she said. This woman is funny. These stories are short, so if you are pressed for time they are perfect! Read more
Published on March 18 2004 by K. A Blakely
5.0 out of 5 stars Happy accident!
I really was not expecting to enjoy this book. All my friends read it and bragged about it. I'm a thick novel kind of gal so I was hesitant. Read more
Published on Jan. 8 2004 by maria j.
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it as much as the first.
I think I enjoyed this book even more than Laurie's first book. Now that I'm married too, I could relate to a lot of her stories - especially when it comes to the husband. Read more
Published on Jan. 6 2004 by "chicanopopart"
5.0 out of 5 stars I was in pain from laughing so hard!
This is, hands down, the most hilarious book I've read in a long time. I could not put it down for a minute--I read the whole thing in a matter of hours. Read more
Published on Dec 12 2003 by "heatherb-v"
1.0 out of 5 stars HATED IT!
To each her own, but I thought it was idiotic, and, I won't buy anything else written by this author.
Published on Dec 9 2003 by Brenda Wells
1.0 out of 5 stars Anesthesia for 30-Somethings
Being on the cusp of 50 and harboring an IQ well above average, I was bored by this "woe-is-me" tale of 30-something angst. Read more
Published on Nov. 17 2003 by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Terrifically Funny
I laughed out loud more times reading this book than any other I've read in years. Notaro has brilliant powers of observation about the mundane and a wicked, almost evil, sense of... Read more
Published on Oct. 7 2003 by Zanda
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