|
|
5.0 out of 5 stars
A fun, but informative read, Oct 26 2009
As a parent and a parenting professional, I quite enjoyed this book. The three authors are not parenting professionals. Rather, they're three mothers who got together and decided to write a book on marriage after children. They did interview a seemingly large number of other couples, so this book doesn't solely reflect their own opinions. The book covers a range of topics, from chores, to sex, to in-laws.
I suppose I can sum it up like this:
1- Women need to chill out more, be less perfectionist with their kids/family, praise their husbands more, and need to be more open to having regular sex.
2- Now, it's not all one way. Men need to realize how much work "domestic work" really is. Having looked after my kids alone, I can certainly agree that it's incredibly challenging work. Men need to step up to the plate and seriously pitch in to help around the house. They need to validate their wives feelings. And they need to work at putting some romance back into their marriage.
That's the general gist of the book. Marriages generally suffer when kids arrive, because there are so many extra demands on both parents' time. And while you can't skimp on work, or the kids, you can skimp on each other. This book is about how you can try to avoid that, how you can try to understand your partner, and how you can try to make things work better. The authors, to their credit, don't claim that this is a magic bullet, or permanent solution. Just ideas that will help make things better. As I mentioned, they're not professionals in this area, but they do cite a number of important and relevant theories, so they are well-read. On a personal and professional level, I found their advice to be reasonable and helpful. The book is written in a friendly, sometimes funny, tone, even when the issues are quite serious. The authors go out of their way to split the quotes and advice between both fathers and mothers, so it's not a one-sided bash-fest of either parent. Overall, I recommend this book highly for parents of small children. It's not a miracle cure, but it has some good ideas, and perhaps most important of all, let's you know you're not alone in facing the challenges of raising children and keeping your marriage thriving!
|
by John Gottman Ph.D.
by Sam McBratney
by Elizabeth Pantley
by Harvey Karp M.D.
