Bad Movie Police, Case 3: Humanoids from Atlantis

James L. Edwards has matured since his last film, "Chickboxer" into the fine actor you see in Humanoids From Atlantis. The title is a bit misleading as you never see more than one humanoid at a time (that would mean having to buy a second rubber mask). This creature from Atlantis, who walks like Frankenstein terrorizes the residents of this small Ohio town. There is a major plot twist at the end you won't want to reveal. Sandra Wurzer plays the scientist babe with glasses and a lab coat, a real librarian fantasy. Christine Morrison gives us another memorable performance as worthy as her performance in "Galaxy of the Dinosaurs." Don't let the 45 minute duration fool you. It packs a wallop in a short period of time.

How could this movie have been overlooked by mainstream media? Where is the academy?

From the movie-making Mecca of Mogadore, Ohio, comes Humanoids from Atlantis, a self-proclaimed "Super-No-Budget, Shot-in-a-Weekend Production of The Embarrassed Suburban Tempe Company" and our master of ludicrously bad cinema, J.R. Bookwalter. It's no wonder that this self-aborting film appears on the radar of the Bad Movie Police. This isn't your typical case file, however. Instead of going out and nabbing bad filmmakers in the act, Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs) have to deal with a perp trying to turn himself in, citing his participation in the embarrassment that is Humanoids from the Deep. Thanks to that guy, who did indeed have a bit part in the, um, film, we're all forced to watch it in its entirety - fortunately, the film itself runs only about 45 minutes.

I don't think anyone is complaining, but there is a reason the film is so short. Supposedly, it comes down to the cold Ohio winter (which sort of put the kibosh on any underwater scenes) and a release schedule tighter than a freezing squirrel's little hinder. Three-fourths of the original story wasn't even shot, we are told. What's it about? Well, the last surviving Atlantean somehow washes up on the shore of Lake Erie, and then escapes from the "scientist" (Christine Morrison) who found him. It's not long before he is terrorizing budding young director Ken Adams (James L. Edwards) and his girlfriend Julie (Sandra Wurzer) as they attempt to film a documentary on the town's lake. The usually-hungry Tom Hoover, looking almost Chris Berman-like, pops by to play the local sheriff. The big finish is most unusual, and I still can't decide if I liked it or hated it. Most folks will just be so glad the film's over, they won't care if the ending stank or not.

When I say Humanoids from Atlantis was a low-budget movie, I mean it. The whole thing was shot over a single weekend in 1992 for a grand total of twelve hundred fifty dollars, using ground-breaking Super-VHS-C video technology. The whole thing is just bloody awful, yet it's a lot of fun to watch. The fact that the cast and crew all know how bad their work is really helps you appreciate the insanity all the more. Most people with films this bad gathering dust on their closet shelves would just leave them be. J. R. Bookwalter, however, had the brilliant idea of repackaging some of the biggest wild turkeys you've ever seen and intentionally ridiculing his own work through the vehicle of the Bad Movie Police. I have found all three of the Bad Movie Police releases to be incredibly entertaining, and I can only hope that more of their wacky case files will be forthcoming - they have to do Zombie Cop, if nothing else. (I wouldn't be averse to seeing a little more of Lilith Stabs, either.) My only regret is that I rented them all online, which means I haven't had a chance to watch all of the special features included with each of them, as the commentaries are reportedly even funnier than the movies.

Returning from his brilliant role in "Chickboxer" James L. Edwards once again gives other thespians hope: after watching this any other actor on the planet will be reassured that they aren't the worst actor ever born. This is the third of the "Bad Movie Police" films released to date, and is mercifully the shortest at 47 minutes running time.

I would summarize the plot, but there really isn't one: it involves the worst looking monster I have ever seen running around by a lake during March 1992 in Mogadore, Ohio. The best way to describe the monster is a Sleestak wearing a gown and rubber gloves, but everyone will have their unique interpretation. In the extras the cast and crew readily admit that the script was thrown out because it was too cold to have the aquatic scenes filmed during an Ohio winter. What results is this 47 minute ad lib experiment, and some of the most hilarious acting in memory. Interestingly, the movie actually does end in a remotely clever (if stupid) way that I did not expect. In a move to cater to his huge fan base (among fans of this genre), the great Tom Hoover returns as a sheriff.

The commentary track is funny, and the crew admits that "Humanoids From Atlantis" is worse than "Galaxy of the Dinosaurs," and even "Chickboxer," although I am personally unsure of that. There are a couple of other extras including a short film by J. R. Bookwalter, and interviews with the principals of the film, which are wonderful. While this isn't as funny as the first two films in the series, it is still a true gem that merits watching: the bonus is you don't have to watch very long!