Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay, (Batoru garu), is a 1991 film directed by Kazuo Gaira Komizu. If I had to pick one genre to describe it, I suppose I'd have to lean more towards horror, but this really does have a science fiction theme to it that may garner the movie a wider fan base. Either way, if there's any following at all, it's of the cult crowd.
In a nutshell, a meteor crashes to earth, namely Tokyo bay, which creates a sort of alien fog that resurrects the living. In the fallout, the area is taken over by zombies, villainous military personnel, and apocalypse-punks. Enter K-ko, (played by Japanese wrestler, Cutie Suzuki), who dons one of the more tackier suits in cinematic history to fight the legions of listed baddies.
The movie is just bad for a multitude of reasons. I won't bore you with the entire laundry list of failures, here, but I'll list a few because it's entirely possible they might actually be appealing to someone considering investing in the DVD.
The soundtrack is entirely synth and poorly orchestrated. Off and on, I actually caught brief bits and pieces that sounded an awful lot like snippets from Janet Jackson's, "Rhythm Nation 1814" album. Specifically, "Escapade". You may have seen this movie and find my observation completely unfounded, which is fine, but I'm sticking with my guns, here. Janet's album came out two years before this movie, so the timing is just right considering the travel time for pop music in that era. Also, to further support my theory, the video for Jackson's title song, "Rhythm Nation" holds a striking similarity to the foggy, industrial-style setting housed in Battle Girl. (Judge me if you'd like, but the fact remains that by being attracted to this movie in the first place, I proved myself a little wobbly. I can't be blamed.)
These would be the most flaccid fight sequences I have ever seen. The DVD case boasts that the protagonist is played by a professional wrestler, but she must have caught whatever scoliosis bug was making its rounds through the director's crew during the filming. Every scene consisted of her squaring up, taking a swing, getting dumped on the ground, then jumping back up vaguely surprised and squaring up again. Randomly throughout the film, she would have to disarm someone with the same sort of softness previously laid claim to by boiled carrots, and somehow succeed. It was devastatingly boring to watch. So much so that I sort of nodded off a little about mid-film and then jerked awake because my foot had slipped off my coffee table.
K-ko's Battle Suit was ridiculous. Nothing on board looked remotely helpful aside from adding some extra padding, and most of that went over her breasts. Round breast cones that spent the duration of this movie crooked. One side would be fine, the other would be drooping south a good 4-6 inches. It reminded me of Thom Yorke's eyes. (Oh, and I'd like to add that she's apparently of some military background, hence the suit, but she clearly had zero training with any military personnel prior to this production. In fact, I think it's safe to say that she's never even seen anyone in the military do anything remotely military-like at any point in time ever.)
I'm rambling. So...
I highly advise not watching this movie unless you're surrounded by a group of friends famous for their MST3K-like abilities. The only treasure found in, "Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay", as far as I'm concerned, is in the people that will make fun of it.
Rent this puppy.
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