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Because I Have Loved and Hidden it
 
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Because I Have Loved and Hidden it [Hardcover]

Elise Moser
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
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Product Description

Quill & Quire

Elise Moser’s first novel calls to mind the phrase “a can of worms,” in particular its associations with sordidness and tangled knots. The life of Moser’s protagonist, Julia, has lately come to resemble such a sordid tangle. Since her estranged mother’s death, she’s discovered she has a sister, who was given up for adoption before her parents’ marriage, and she also finds herself attracted to her lover’s wife. While trying to unravel these knotted relationships, Julia begins to realize that the people around her possess inner lives far richer than she previously suspected. As a character, Julia resembles Narcissus intriguingly intertwined with Lewis Carroll’s Alice, moving from looking in a self-obsessed way at the looking glass to looking through it. The setting for her transformation is Montreal, a city that Julia feels “is colonizing her body.” Montreal is an island, which is something Julia erroneously believes herself to be. And though it is common for contemporary urban novels to make their settings de facto characters, Moser’s Montreal is unusually well-realized, with geographic references that go beyond mere signifiers and instead vividly reflect the city for those of us who don’t know it well. Moser’s evocative prose extends to her depictions of corporeality and food. Bodies secrete and smell, nerves quake, and fine hairs twitch, while an ugly tomato is cut to reveal “firm meat, almost the colour of human flesh.” Meals are described in remarkable detail, which is fitting given that “[Julia] loves to eat with people who also love to eat, especially if they are unselfconscious about it.” Of course, any can of worms will likely be packed just a little too full, and this one is no exception. Although the narrative’s effusiveness is in keeping with Julia’s character, the vivid writing occasionally gives way to excessive exposition. Moser has created a story strong enough to stand on its own without so much explanation. 

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Julia is in limbo. Her mother has just died and her married lover, Nicholas, has gone missing in Morocco. Thirsting for love, for sex, for connection, she grasps at the trailing threads of those who have left her behind: a birth certificate, issued two years before she was born and kept secret from her; and memories of Nicholas, his touch, his scent, his every action consuming her waking moments and filling her lonely nights.

Her need to fill the void is so great that when Deepa, Nicholas's wife, walks through her door, they begin a passionate affair, carried along by desire and desperation. This — along with the mysterious birth certificate — leads Julia to question where she fits in other peoples’ lives, and where she has fallen through the cracks.

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5.0 out of 5 stars (2 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Sensual Read, Dec 19 2009
By 
A. S. Brodoff "Booklover" (Montreal, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Because I Have Loved and Hidden it (Hardcover)

An absorbing debut novel. Moser vividly evokes heightened states of yearning: the longing of the heart, the body, and the mind, and how emotional, sexual, and intellectual cravings entwine. She explores obsession from the feminine point-of-view, how obsession, a female "art," is less about the object of one's yearning, than it is about oneself, a craving for a fuller identity. The language is lush and ripe with fresh images,the characters well-drawn, including Montreal, which springs to life in all of its complexity and richness. Though the story focuses on the deep interior and metamorphic states of its heroine, Julia, the narrative possesses the necessary tension and momentum to keep readers turning pages, as Julia tries to uncover clues about her family and her past, as well as who deserves her devotion. I look forward to Moser's next.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Affirming present relationship with dear others in the face of loss, April 15 2010
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This review is from: Because I Have Loved and Hidden it (Hardcover)
Read this book because you are confronted with the dilemmas of living in the face of the unknown, the irretrievable, the beautiful, and the possible. Elise Moser's novel of life in the city of Montreal will remind you of what it means to pay attention to what's in the world outside of you and how you make sense of it within. This books shows a perspective of human kindness and decency that is rare--there are no cheap moves here and no ideological lines. Ethics aren't worked out beforehand but in the moment of the action. Whatever you thought was a category may fall apart in the reading of this book. Whatever you thought was wrong--that is what is too simple. Whatever you thought is impossible--well, you may not have tried hard enough yet. In the moment of loss, affirm the presence of others. This is a novel without spiritual MSG but full of hope. On the way, you will enjoy a delightful chocolate mousse (virtually). You will want to make one for yourself, to look at a fork in a new way, and to run your tongue over the tines. You may also reevaluate who your friends are. It's your last day on earth: with whom would you want to share a meal? Read this book.
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