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Becoming The Kind Father [Paperback]

Calvin Sandborn
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 17.95
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Book Description

July 9 2009

The macho society that held John Wayne as a role model has created an emotional wasteland where eighty percent of men are unable to accurately express their feelings, and where that same percentage feel estranged from their fathers. The stifled male, disconnected and out of touch, fills the void with apathy or anger and the toll is staggering: short unhealthy lives, ruined relationships and damaged children. This destructive behavior repeats itself in the next generation as the sins of the father continue the cycle.

In Becoming a Kind Father, Calvin Sandborn aims to break that cycle. His intensely personal story is heart-searing and inspirational. Brought up to fear his father's alcohol-fuelled fury and hateful put-downs, the author buried his feelings and fine-tuned his own rage. His father's early death and the collapse of the author's marriage provided catalysts for change.

Interspersing clever literary references with painful childhood memories, intense self-examination and astute observations, Sandborn provides well-researched psychological findings and self-help tips, including how to:

  • identify and share feelings
  • treat yourself as a kind father would
  • form trusting male friendships
  • break the anger habit, and
  • forgive the world, and yourself.

This guide offers helpful insight for the millions of men who want to become kinder human beings. A "must-read" for every woman who loves an angry or emotionally distant man.

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Product Description

About the Author

Calvin Sandborn is a journalist, author and environmental lawyer who currently supervises the University of Victoria Environmental Law Clinic. He is also a kind father and grandfather.

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read for any dad (it's never too late) April 18 2007
By PoCo
Format:Paperback
The author's own life experiences paralled my own in so many ways. We both came to an abyss where we could continue to hide from ourselves or decide to take responsibility, face ourselves, and bravely forgive ourselves and others. The book essentially lets men see that it is ok to have emotions and to express them. In fact, not doing so, just continues that cycle in our own offsrpings. It's not a long book (about 136 pages in the main body) but it delivers a powerful message: You have to be a kind father to yourself otherwise you won't be able to be one for your kids. The only caveat is that you have to be ready to read this. Not everyone will be in a place where they can trully be honest with themselves. In the end you owe it to your kids and, probably more importantly, you owe it to yourself!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Becoming a Kind Father Oct 23 2011
Format:Paperback
I was a bit skeptical in purchasing this book since it was so cheap (the postage and handling exceeded the book cost). I knew it would take a long time to arrive so expected that, but it came in good shape. Interestingly although the source of the book was blacked out on the cover, it was not near the end - in fact it came from a library near Chicago!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.7 out of 5 stars  7 reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A life-affirming call for kindness and compassion May 12 2007
By Man of hope - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
This book is a passionate, heart-felt call for an expression of manhood that is open to feeling one's feelings, and being kind and gentle to oneself rather than being harsh and critical. The author's message is a life-saving one and every man who has issues with anger and wants to change will find encouragement in the chapter of the book dealing with anger issues. I would love to have a mentor like Calvin Sandborn to assist me in becoming a kind father to myself. I highly recommend this book!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I was pleasantly surprised Oct 21 2009
By Dean Bender - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was really touched, softly, by this book. The author has a clear understanding of what a kind father really is and what he does. It is clear this attorney has a deep understanding of cognitive behavioral therapy and can write about it in ways that are easy to understand and motivational to apply.

For men who are religious, it is easy to convert one line of his thinking to Deity in a very effective way. For those not religious, they won't notice or shouldn't care.

There are a lot of mothers and grandparents out there who should buy this book for the father's of their children and grandchildren if they want those fathers to soften.

The reality of the stories, attitudes and circumstances make the book totally creditable.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars quick read but lessons for a lifetime... July 28 2008
By Kerry O. Burns - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
A soul baring, inspiring story of one man's search to battle the rage within and become a better father in the process. After losing all that he cherished in the world Calvin Sandborn examines himself and the demons that led him to losing his wife and being seperated from his kids. It is a courageous look at oneself and the world he had created for himself. A quick read of a book but lessons in here that will last a lifetime. I found it especially poignant.
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