Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story [Paperback]

 

 

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Labeling Paul Monette as "disingenuous" is a fallacy in itself. First of all, the opinion disregards years of study that has been done on institutionalized oppression and compulsory heterosexuality. It should be noted that Paul Monette did a great deal to overcome the "privilege" he became heir to, turning it on itself--and making it into a weapon against oppression which stands to this day.

Unless you are familiar with the statistics about GLBTQ persons in the workplace, it is difficult to understand why someone would stay in the closet...stigma still persists, and still destroys the personal--and public-- lives of people who come out. The Southern Poverty Law Center has estimated that gay men and lesbians are six times as likely to be physically attacked as Jews and Hispanics in America, and twice as likely as African Americans. Valerie Jenness and Kendal Broad note: 'By many accounts, violence motivated by homophobia and heterosexism represents the most visible, violent, and culturally legitimated type of 'hate crime' in this country' (1994, p. 402)(as cited in Peace, Conflict, and Violence: Peace Psychology for the 21st Century,Christie, D. J., Wagner, R. V., & Winter, D. A. (Eds.).(2001). According to hate crime statistics, the number of hate crimes based on sexual orientation is rising (See the link below for more recent statistics. Also, another link for the hate crime statistics for 2008).

The Tri-County Domestic & Sexual Violence Intervention Network Anti-Oppression Training manual states: Institutional Oppression is "the systematic mistreatment of people within a social identity group, supported and enforced by the society and its institutions, solely based on the person's membership in the social identity group. Institutional Oppression occurs when established laws, customs, and practices systematically reflect and produce inequities based on one's membership in targeted social identity groups. If oppressive consequences accrue to institutional laws, customs, or practices, the institution is oppressive whether or not the individuals maintaining those practices have oppressive intentions. Institutional Oppression creates a system of invisible barriers limiting people based on their membership in unfavored social identity groups. The barriers are only invisible to those 'seemingly' unaffected by it.

Blaming the victim is a way to avoid personal responsibility for the problem. It seems to me that Paul Monette has done everything in his power to overcome these forces for himself, and for all of us--why question his intentions? It's time that we all become accountable for the education of our opinions.

See a link for hate crime statistics here:[...].

2008 Hate Crime Statistics: [...].

Beautifully written and terribly personal, Becoming a Man has achieved what every memoir hopes to: a painful reminiscence of the past with thought-provoking reflections on the changes that have occurred. People of all background and sexuality will enjoy this book and appreciate it as the work of art it is.

I bought this book both because it was a coming out story and because of the National Book Award. I knew it would be a good read but had no idea of the power and sheer force of personality that would come through in Paul Monette's writing. As a gay man who also grew up in New England with parents of mixed religion, (although my father converted to Catholism) my experiences were so similar to Paul's that there were times I literally had to put the book down because my emotions were too much to bear. The pain, the loneliness, the self-loathing are all too familiar to any gay person, but this is by no means a book only for gays. Any straight person who knows and loves a gay person will find no better description of what it is to grow up knowing you are that THING that is to be hated and feared, and how hard it is to overcome those early lessons. But be warned, at no point does he "sanitize" the gay experience so as not to offend straights.

I was saddened to learn Paul lost his battle with AIDS, and at a time when new treatments were so close. However, any writer who has to die too young could leave no better legacy than this memoir. It will live on long after Paul; it is a truly brilliant book.

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4.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly Written but Disingenuous
Born in 1945 to a small-town, middle-class New England family, Paul Monette--like most Americans of the era--was spoon-fed a negative knee-jerk re homosexuality. Read more

Published on Feb 22 2004 by Gary F. Taylor

1.0 out of 5 stars Boring
In one word - boring. I stuck with this book and found the outcome uninteresting.

Published on Sep 18 2003

5.0 out of 5 stars Proud and also ashamed
This novel represents a lot of things to a lot of different people, who relate to it on different levels. Read more

Published on Jun 25 2002 by Wendy C. Darling

5.0 out of 5 stars I Concur
I don't think that I can add more than Doug Kilburg has already said. Paul, spoke to me. We attended similar schools, and had similar feelings. Read more

Published on Oct 30 2001 by Randolph M. Adell

5.0 out of 5 stars Engaging
When I first started reading this book, it started out a little slow. After the first few pages, however, I found that I couldn't put it down. Read more

Published on July 16 2001 by Doug D. Kilburg

5.0 out of 5 stars Inspirational story of someone that could be you or me...
Each time I pick up this book I feel like I'm reading a letter from a friend. Paul Monette writes like you or I, in his most colourful autobiography, which pulls you in from the... Read more

Published on May 30 2001 by Marc Roberts

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful writing
It's hard to describe what this book has made me feel. Like others, I was tremendously moved. I wanted to know more about him, and I was taken by surprise when a web-search came... Read more

Published on April 23 2001 by Kyle P. Wagner

5.0 out of 5 stars required reading
This book serves as one of the truest and most meaningful journeys in a gay man's life. It should be required reading for all that dare to discover him/herself. Read more

Published on April 9 2001

4.0 out of 5 stars A story for gays and straights
I think one of the reasons I liked this book as much as I did was because I see so much of my own life in it; and a lot of those feelings I had long since forgotten. Read more

Published on Dec 12 2000 by M. Anderson

5.0 out of 5 stars poignant enough to alter the course of my life
I'm a straight girl. I read this book when I was fifteen years old. Paul Monette's story was the most moving, heart-wrenching I have ever read, and his honesty, humanity, and... Read more

Published on May 29 2000

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