Before I Say Goodbye: Recollections and Observations from One Woman's Final Year [Paperback]

Ruth Picardie was a person with her ups & downs, her good qualities & her bad qualities. One thing that should be immediately noted is that she never intended for a book to be made out of her emailing with friends. Or maybe she thought she had more time, which would enable her to continue writing her columns & make a book out of them eventually. Sadly, her illness caught up with her. So "Before I say goodbye" is just a collection of personal emails, letters from Observer readers, & her 4-5 columns for the Observer. The columns are definitely the best writing in the book, & that's how it should be, since it's the only writing intended for publication.

For some reason, I was more touched by the emailing, maybe because the ordinarity of the messages showed me (as if I didn't know...) that commonplace things happen to people with cancer, even as they do to you & me. If you turn that around, it also means that cancer happens to commonplace people, again like you & me!! Obviouus, isn't it? But denial is a very strong force, & it's so natural to believe things like this cannot happen to you. If for nothing else, then just for this, "Before I say goodbye" is very chilling & terrifying. I for one read it in one sitting, yesterday night, & ended up finding it difficult to sleep afterwards...But on the other hand, this book also gave me a sense of perspective about my life & its problems.

Another thing I should mention is that there's an interesting afterword by Ruth Picardie's husband, which gives a much fuller picture about the family & the way they all dealt with Ruth's condition. During the course of the book, lots of questions are left unanswered, which is natural since the book, as I said, is not really a book, but a collection of different pieces of writing. So Matt's writing puts everything into place. It's also a truthful & painful piece of writing.

If you're generally interested in this subject-matter, John Diamond's "C: Because cowards get cancer too" is on the top of the list, & also "Dancing at the edge of life" by Gale Warner. These are much more complete books. It's very sad that Ruth's writing never had the chance of developing into a real book. Time was cruelly stolen from her & from her family.

Reading this book helped me understand what happened to her and that it was not unusual for a cancer patient to become that way. In other words: She did not become a freak, and obviously that is a great comfort to know. My mother was still in there somewhere.

This book will make you laugh and cry. It will break your heart and increase your understanding of loss and death.

This book should be required reading everywhere!