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Befriending Your Ex after Divorce: Making Life Better for You, Your Kids, and, Yes, Your Ex Paperback – Dec 10 2012

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (Dec 10 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 160882277X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1608822775
  • Product Dimensions: 1.3 x 15.2 x 22.9 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 318 g
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #608,934 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description


"This book is an invaluable resource for divorcing parents who want their children to grow up healthy and emotionally secure in a dual-household family. Rabinor's insight, experience, humor, and spunk make her one of my favorite experts to interview for my films." --Leta Lenik, documentary film producer whose films include "Hungry to be Heard" and "Women Unchained"

About the Author

Judith Ruskay Rabinor, PhD, is author of Befriending Your Ex after Divorce and A Starving Madness. She is also the founder and director of the American Eating Disorders Center of Long Island.


Don-David Lusterman, PhD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Baldwin, NY. He specializes in marriage and family therapy. A frequent media guest, he has appeared on The Today Show and Oprah and been the subject of numerous radio and print interviews. He has spent thousands of hours counseling clients who were dealing with infidelity in their marriages. This helped him to develop a model for intervention that can enables both partners to make decisions.

Inside This Book

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) HASH(0xa79e5a98) out of 5 stars 12 reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0xa7904564) out of 5 stars Thought-provoking and engrossing March 10 2013
By boston jd - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In my practice of law I don't think there's one divorced or divorcing couple that would not have benefited from this book. In my personal life I have also known people who should have read this book before they and their (soon -to- be) former spouse developed an unhealthy relationship that ended up harming their children. In addition, I found the author's comments about relationships and loss to apply to many situations other than just that of marriage. This was a very thoughtfully written, interesting and helpful book in every respect.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0xa7904990) out of 5 stars An Excellent Book by a Wonderful Clinican April 1 2013
By Dr. Marion A. Bilich - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As I am a friend of Judy Rabinor's, one might think I should disqualify myself from reviewing this book, but it is because I know Judy that I am uniquely qualified to write this review. I knew Judy throughout the process of her divorce and followed the changes in her relationship with her ex with interest. She is not just an expert writing about how to accomplish what many didn't believe possible, she has lived it. She is living proof it can be done. Her book is a culmination of her many years of personal and professional experience. As she does in her therapy sessions, she weaves into the narrative short imageries, practical exercises and journal writing designed to take the reader deeper into the material. I especially like that she included a chapter on possible pitfalls. Overall, this is a practical, heart-warming and thought-provoking book, and if you have ever wondered how you can best protect your children from any negative consequences of divorce, this book is for you.
HASH(0xa7904bb8) out of 5 stars Love this book,a must read for individuals who are divorced,psychotherapists,clergy,lawyers and family court judges Feb. 14 2013
By ann k.cooke,phd - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After twenty years of treating patients,I have witnessed many divorced couples stuck in their anger,acting out destructive post divorce conflicts which have a negative effect on themselves and their children.Dr.Rabinor in "Befriending Your Ex"offers a new way to connect post divorce with your Ex that challenges the destructive myths about divorce and provides case studies,practical guidelines and strategies to connect with each other in healthy way..She reminds us that when we are stuck in anger and bitter feelings about divorce,these feeling eat away at your body and soul.They have a powerful effect on your children and even your next relationship.She offers creative ideas about the process of forgiveness and letting go which is necessary for healing to occurr.Through her extensive professional experience and personal experiences from her divorce,she provides hope and guidance to help you develop a new type of relationship with your Ex reminding you that he/she is someone you once loved.
Many individuals for different reasons get divorced.Most of the time it is a painful experience for everyone involved.There are books written about the effects of divorce on partners and children but not about the possibility that after you work through your feelings ,learn from mistakes you could actually have a healthy relationship with your Ex where you can collaborate,compromise and even be able to celebrate your children's milestones together.
I was touched that the author dedicated this book to her Ex .Throughout the book she reminds the reader that developing a healthy connection with your Ex takes time and dedication.Obviously she was able to successfully befriend her ex spouse and dedicated this book to him.What an amazing story and excellent book.Dr Rabinor groundbreaking perspective on post divorce relationships can change your life and and those you love.
HASH(0xa7904ab0) out of 5 stars Letting Go March 10 2013
By Amazon Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
I am fortunate in this day and age to still be married to the father of my children. But if God forbid, something should ever happen to our marriage, Befriending Your ex After Divorce is definitely a great tool to get through it and come out whole on the other side. This book has the power to help so many people going through a divorce.

Judith Ruskay Rabinor has been through and survived a divorce and learned how to have a good relationship with her husband post divorce and make their kids the priority. Through her own clinical research and experience, she has learned how to not only survive but to thrive in life once again.

So many people waste time fighting and putting their children in the middle of a tug of war. Once you are divorced, there is nothing left to fight about. She writes about how to let it go and move on and leave the past in the past and to think only of your children's future. It's often easier said than done but this book is a great guide to help you along the way with practical insight and suggestions.

As in any relationship, things will come up to challenge you and the ex and she talks about how to overcome these obstacles and remain friends, always keeping the kids as the priority. Co-parenting is a huge challenge but not an impossible one. There is a great example of this in my family and I have seen the kids grow up in two households into successful amazing adults.

Befriending Your Ex After Divorce is full of practical information and she breaks down many possible scenarios to reach a multitude of people. From letting go of the past to moving forward in newly blended families, she covers everything you need to know to befriend the ex!
HASH(0xa7904f78) out of 5 stars Excellent Book About Divorce and Healing for Every Family Member May 20 2013
By Stephanie - Published on
Format: Paperback
Dr. Judy Rabinor has been a practicing psychologist for over thirty years, which is why it's no wonder she has a wealth of expertise and insight into the human mind and relationships. She also has something which sets her apart from others in her field. She has the personal experience of a divorce. In her new book, Befriending Your Ex After Divorce, she guides readers through in a way in which they are able to go at their own pace with exercises and tips to help them and their family get through a difficult time in their lives. What I find most interesting, is that throughout the book,various key processes to dealing with this issue are broken down into various steps. Whether it is "Three Steps to Begin Befriending" or "Five Steps to Forgiving Your Ex" and "Five Steps to Forgiving Yourself," they are easy to remember and implement into your daily life and start the healing process. This book is highly recommended for anyone going through a divorce. A+++