Judith Merrill made her reputation in the science fiction world as the premier anthologist of her day. Her best-of-the-year series, while somewhat eccentric, is probably the most consistently interesting annual anthology in the field's history. I have fond memories of reading these and other anthologies of hers as an adolescent fan and, naturally, began to wonder about the real person behind these fine compilations.
After reading this book, I am, to a large extent, still wondering.
"Better to Have Loved" barely scratches the surface of what must have been a complex and fascinating life story. Enough is revealed to show her to have been a rather difficult, emotionally unstable, sexually promiscuous (and probably bisexual) woman who apparently never really found what she was searching for, and didn't seem to know what it was anyway. She lived a bohemian, unconventional life, driven by psychological forces characteristic of the borderline personality disorder. I have seen many such cases in my own clinical practice.
But, as fascinating as all of this is, it's not enough. We are given little description of the process by which she became one of the most influential anthologists in sf history. Her relation to science fiction in general is left largely unexplored. We do not get a feel for how or why she became fascinated with the field. Although she must have known most of the primary figures in the field at that time (after all, there weren't that many of them then), little is said about them except for those with whom she had an intimate relationship (e.g., Fred Pohl, Walter Miller, Cyril Kornbluth strictly on the writing side). Strangely, Isaac Asimov is not mentioned. John W. Campbell is given short shrift. And much of the volume is taken up with reproductions of long personal letters which could have been interesting only to the principals involved.
It is entirely possible, of course, that what we are given is about all that was available to the book's "autobiographer," Judith's granddaughter, Emily Pohl-Weary. If so, it is unfair to be too critical. Most of what's here is interesting, but it left me wanting a lot more.