Big Red One, the

OVERALL SCORE: (B+)

PLOT: (B), ACTING: (B-), DIALOGUE: (B-), SETTING: (C), ACTION/COMBAT: (B), ANTAGONISTS: (B), ROMANCE: (n/a), AGE LEVEL: (PG)

Other great war movies; The Longest Day (1962), We Were Soldiers (2002), Gallipoli (1981), Attack Force Z (1982), Cross of Iron (1976), A Bridge Too Far (1977), or The Dirty Dozen (1967).

Unfortunately, this movie is ruined by the Voice Narrator - none other than future star of "Revenge of the Nerds." Whether it's the actor chosen or bad direction, it is easily the most annoying voice over in "A-movie" history. Particularly since we have all seen this done much more effectively in war movies released since this picture was made in 1980. I have no doubt that these movies owe a debt to the Big Red One, with the directors saying, "Stop, you sound like the nerd in the Big Red One. Try it again."

My "favorite" scene: The squad delivers a baby during D-Day (you can't make this crap up folks-oh wait, I guess they did). Dialogue of soldier delivering baby: "Lady, I'm a hell of a lot more scared than you are...just take it easy." (uh, Hello, this film was robbed of an Oscar for screenwriting)

My "favorite" voice over narration line:
"We got a bunch of medals...not for delivering the kid, but for killing Krauts."

My all time "favorite" dialogue:
Soldier: "What's the French word for PUSH?"
Marvin Lee: "Pussay" (Which he repeats multiple times as we see the pregnant woman writhing in labor, her legs spread over Lee Marvin's shoulders...."pussay, pussay, pussay...he shouts" (now that's some serious double entendre, folks)

My "favorite" cowboy moment as the soldier's creep through enemy lines. Lee Marvin: "It's a bushwack." (not related to the labor scene folks)

My "favorite" movie message, from this actual dialogue at an insane assylum the GIs comes across in France:

Marvin: "Killing insane people is not good for public relations."
Soldier: "But killing sane people is?"
Marvin: "That's Right."

Wow, that's powerful stuff.

In summary, the acting is sophomoric (gotta love the off-screen screams when someone gets it - no, it's not your little brother playing in the other room--it's the movie), the writing and dialogue is stilted and corny and the tone/direction awkwardly switches from whimsical to melodramatic and back again.

Still, it's not bad Sunday afternoon viewing if you like war action and enjoy making fun of old movies - the best thing to do, though, is watch it with a remote control and hit mute every time the annoying/cloying narrator speaks. For added interest, print off a script of the movie and read the narration at the appropriate points, since on rare occassions the narrator does say something interesting.