Bloodrayne (Unrated Director's Cut)

 

 

Create your own review

WOW.!!! What can I say about this one. Uwe Boll has done it again, he created another incredable trainwreck. That said I gave it three stars. I guess the easiest way to explain would be to use the age old adage " It's so bad it's good." This movie is a disaster in every respect. The movie is based on a video game (nuff said) the story choppy as hell, jumping from one plot point to the next with all the subtltly of a sledge hammer , its badly acted, badly edited, badly scripted. The set design looks like a reject episode of Zina Worrior Princess, and the violence and gore right over the top. I spent as much time laughing as I did cringing. Soon as it finished I returned the rental and marched right out and bought the darn thing. I could'nt help it...If you are willing to turn off your brain and just go with it you'll find that this film is an exciting, absurd, amusing, grotesque and absolutly outrageous ride. Kristanna Loken does a great job in her roll as "Rayne" a mixed breed of human and vampire called a Dhampir, it also stars Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen and Michelle Rodriguez. This movie aint for everyone that's for sure, but I myself liked it, how it ever made it to the theaters I have no idea.

Uwe Boll is an inspiration to hopeful filmmakers everywhere. He proves that no matter how talentless you are, studios will still give you money.

Well, how do you explain a movie like "BloodRayne" otherwise? The infamous Boll's new film is yet another example of cinematic ineptitude, with bad acting from B-list stars, an atrocious script, and a plot that is actually thinner than the original video game. Someone put this movie out of its misery.

Rayne (Kristanna Loken) is a dhampir -- half human, half vampire, the result of a vampire raping a human. Escaping from a life as a sideshow freak, she decides to go kill her daddy Kagan (Sir Ben Kingsley). And Kagan is trying to grab the magical body parts of an ancient vampire, which will make him invincible.

Since Rayne is a good bloodsucker (animals and bad guys) she happily joins a band of vampire-haters, the Brimstone Society. Vladimir (Michael Madson), Sebastian (Matt Davis) and Katarin (Michelle Rodriegez) join forces with Rayne. But to stop Kagan, they will have to deal with his vicious vampire hordes.

If "Buffy" had ripped off "Blade" and "Lord of the Rings," then the result might have been something like "BloodRayne." Yes, the film is that unoriginal -- Uwe Boll tears off chunks of hit movies, and splatters them together into a movie of his own. But it cannot hide this simple fact: Boll has the skills of a mentally backward Yorkie.

Well, Boll is trying hard. He really, really tries hard to make this a thrilling, stunning adventure. But the entire movie is strangled in his ineptitude -- the action is Monty Pythonesque at best, with silly wrangling and geysers of blood. Lots of dismemberment. Funny sex against the jail bars. It's all almost campy, but somehow it's too inane to be.

And the cast is the worst. To put it simply, most of the actors seem like escapees from a vampire porn movie, wearing grimy costumes and bad wigs. You know a movie is in trouble when Romanian prostitutes -- real prostitutes -- are more impressive thespians than the lead actress. And if this is medieval Romania, how come everyone is naked?

Kristanna Loken proves why she has had no major roles besides a robot, and Michelle Rodriegez plays the Antisocial Bad Girl again. And the two good actors, Ben Kingsley and Michael Madson, are left to wallow in the cinematic gook. I felt genuinely sorry for these two guys, since they will probably be fielding the question "Why did you do BloodRayne?" for the next twenty years.

This version includes "Bloodrayne 2," but it's not clear why -- the movie and the second video game have virtually nothing to do with one another.

At any video store, you'll find dozens of movies of this caliber -- straight to video, with F-list actors. And "BloodRayne" proves again that somebody needs to go to Germany, and confiscate Boll's camera before he starts another atrocity.

This film was worse than ultraviolet.
an amazing peice of garbage, and i love alot of bad films.
even seeing Kristanna Loken topless did not help this film.
do not buy it, rent it or see it.

you WILL want the 95 min of your life back.

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review

› See all 8 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

 

4.0 out of 5 stars an entertaining 95 minutes (3.5/5)
Bloodrayne won't win any awards,but i did enjoy it.it was very
stylistic,and had lots of action. Read more

Published on Nov 26 2007 by falcon

1.0 out of 5 stars Get your money back
Poor Uwe took a bright premise and turned it into a laughingstock. I got more of a kick from the fake gore and blood than the acting, which one would have thought from the talent... Read more

Published on Sep 24 2006 by C. Lam

5.0 out of 5 stars Kristanna loken has talent
i think this was an amazing movie kristanna loken is the best but i have to say matt davis did a horendous acting job in this movie

Published on July 5 2006 by movie lover!

4.0 out of 5 stars Just because it is Uwe Boll
This movie is NOT as bad as people say it is. I bet you if the same exact movie was made by a different director this would recieve better ratings. Read more

Published on Jun 6 2006 by Kirsten Hebert

1.0 out of 5 stars When good actors take bad roles....
With a cast like Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane, Michael Pare, & Michelle Rodriguez, I gave this movie a chance at being good, or at least campy. It was neither. Read more

Published on Jun 1 2006 by Michael J. Taylor

Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

› See all 8 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

Search Listmania!