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Bloomsbury Usa My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One-Night Stands [Paperback]

Chelsea Handler
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)

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Product Description

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Chelsea Handler, You Are Too Funny. June 6 2013
By Leah-S TOP 1000 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I first heard about Chelsea Handler when I started watching “Chelsea Lately” when it first aired, I immediately fell in love with her sense of humor & delivery, she’s hilarious!

The Book: It is truly laugh-out-loud funny, I was reading it at an office job on my lunch breaks & I would be laughing so hard in the break room, this girl leaves nothing to the imagination & is a true comic.

If you haven’t watched her show, watch it, & if you haven’t read her books, read them! This & “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” Are by far my favorites, unfortunately, her most recent ones, not so much.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Book. So Funny! May 27 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I read this in 24 hours! Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman ever! Her life stories are unbelievable!
DEFINITELY recommend this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Offensive... July 14 2010
Format:Paperback
I love to laugh and enjoy guilty pleasures such as Legally Blonde...but this was plain ignorant and offensive. Sorry...not recommended.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars SIMPLY FABULOUS! Oct. 16 2005
Format:Paperback
Everyone should buy a copy of this hilarious memoir. Whether it be for yourself or a stocking stuffer, there's bound to be a few people in the family who will enjoy this book.
It's impossible not to laugh out loud during many of the chapters. Some definite highlights include the "nugget" chapter, the "Halloween party on Valentine's Day", and "High School reunion revenge" chapters...just to name a few. The witty comments exchanged between the characters are bound to have you in stitches. All chapters detail a relationship or a one-night stand, and believe me, it's a page-turner, impossible to put down.
It's a good summer read, nothing to take seriously. It won't win any Nobel Prizes anytime soon, but that's why I loved it. I hope there's a follow-up to this memoir.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing May 17 2009
Format:Paperback
I usually love Chelsea Handler's comedy, but this book is just tasteless and trashy. She depicts herself as a very sleazy, promiscuous character, who will sleep with anyone and drink to the point of oblivion. Really bad attempt at humor, cliches, bad, bad, bad.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious July 1 2014
By melanie
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I love Chelsea Handler, this book is hilarious! Warning: do not read in public or people will give you funny looks!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! Feb. 7 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you can stand the raunchy humor, it is a fun and light read. A book I would read again and again just to take my mind off of daily stresses.
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5.0 out of 5 stars My Horizontal Life April 28 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler.
Another great read! lots of laughs and I also shared with friends, who loved it too!
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
Chelsea Handler tells it like it is and it definitely made me LOL. Reading this book for book club and there will be lots to talk about!
Published on April 6 2012 by jaimejm
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny as hell
I was realy suprised with this book, I laughed out loud many times, great read... Now i want to read her other books
Published on Aug. 30 2011 by Michelle Tremblay
5.0 out of 5 stars Chelsea being Chelsea
This book is hilarious!
The more I read, the more I liked it. Each chapter has a unique twist. If you like Chelsea, you will definitely enjoy this read.
Published on June 28 2011 by Eehyo
3.0 out of 5 stars Funny
I love Chelsea Handler. She always makes me laugh on tv. I found this book really funny. But when it reached about half way through, I was a little tired of reading about HOW MUCH... Read more
Published on June 16 2011 by Fia
5.0 out of 5 stars I read this horizontally
I read this, in bed for three hours and laughed so hard the bed was shaking constantly! The people downstairs must have thought I was having a very, very, very good time doing... Read more
Published on April 17 2011 by Taryn
1.0 out of 5 stars Boring!
This book is the first I have read by Chelsea, and it was so BORING.
Pretty much the same thing every single chapter, and while I thought it was going to get better, it just... Read more
Published on Aug. 5 2010 by BosnianBeauty
5.0 out of 5 stars !!GREAT!!
This is by far her best book! I was a little hesistant because this topic can just become an exaggeration, but this was hilarious page-by-page. A must read for any woman!
Published on May 1 2010 by Crystal Male
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