Born to Ride [Import]
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The stars of Starship Troopers are back in action! Mike (Casper Van Dien) decides to hit the road on his refurbished classic motorcycle along with best buddy Alex (Patrick Muldoon), but their trek takes a surprising turn when they become involved in a plan involving political blackmail, corruption, and dirty money. Carrying evidence that could get them killed at any minute, the boys are chased on the open road but turn their skills to their own advantage. William Forsythe (Raising Arizona) and Theresa Russell (Wild Things) also star in this gun-blazing, rip-roaring adventure from the director of Every Which Way But Loose you’ll never forget!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
This movie goes absolutely nowhere. The plot (if you can call it that) is choppy and doesn't make sense in places. There are a couple of things I'm going to say here that might be considered spoilers, but I can't imagine anyone is going to purchase this movie after the reviews here anyway.
The gorgeous biker babe on the cover . . . has nothing to do with the movie. There isn't anyone who looks like that in the movie, nor is there anyone who dresses like that in the movie. There are several scenes which *really* heavily hint that it is a sequel to "Easy Rider" (and draws a LOT of parallels to it), but of course without enough to endanger a lawsuit or complaint. His father was even killed on a bike that looks suspiciously like the "Easy Rider" bike Peter Fonda rode (after hooking up with his mom briefly), which is completely wrecked and still in his mom's garage. He decides to use the frame from his bike to bring it back to life while pointedly admiring the antique engine for a while . . . which doesn't even end up in the "restored" bike.
There is a scene where he needs to replace a bunch of money stolen from him (meant for the grandson of an old veteran), so he throws an impromptu biker concert to raise money. It is supposed to be a huge crowd passing around the helmet and each person generously puts in a few dollars, and the scene is always filmed close to the stage showing "all" of the people . . . which I estimate to be around 12. He still raises thousands of dollars. There wasn't even enough planning to get a bunch of extras.
One thing that you at least get out of "B" movies is gorgeous women and nudity . . . neither of which is in this movie. There is a 1 second flash of a nipple at one point, but if you blink you'll miss it. The movie is shot in higher quality than most "B" movies and with a number of actors who are at least recognizable (if not well-known), but that seems to be where the entire budget went. I literally found nothing redeeming about this movie whatsoever.
If you watch this, and I don't recommend it, you'll see exactly what I mean. The lead characters are played by Casper Van Dien as a sensitive biker with daddy issues and Patrick Muldoon in full surfer dude persona. These aren't rough and tumble types at all. The film has several plot threads, the most significant involves a corrupt politician. He is involved in some vaguely nefarious dealings with bad guy William Forsythe. Want more explanation than that? You won't get it in this sketchy screenplay. When two low level hoods try to blackmail the congressman, they end up on the wrong side of this very bad man. They drop the evidence used in the blackmail in Muldoon's bag, and before you know it--Forythe's comedic henchman are in hot pursuit. They might have just as easily put the tape in a girl scout's satchel and called the movie "Born to Sell Cookies"--that's how thinly drawn the plot is.
Really, it's all rather harmless. It's not funny or campy enough to be a guilty pleasure. Theresa Russell does the best she can as Van Dien's mother, and both the boys are pleasant and engaging. The film, however, is an unqualified disaster in my mind for one reason--the lazy screenplay. Just as you've followed the silliness to the inevitable confrontation--you get nothing. Zero. The biggest tease and most pointless conclusion you're likely to see. Heck, it's not even a conclusion--it's so unforgivably anticlimactic. It invalidates and dismisses everything that you've spent the movie watching. Did the budget run out? Ultimately, the film is so unfocused and so random and so meaningless. I wish I could say this was any kind of fun, but the ending dissolved any trace of good will I had left. Maybe you'll like it better than I--just know beforehand that it is rather lightweight and totally misrepresented by its marketing. KGHarris, 7/11.
It is a fun movie in a complex and crappy world in which we live. I know the writer and his associates put ten hard years in making the movie a reality. It is more than a movie, it is an accomplishment of one man's dream to put a story into a film and make it a reality.