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Botched (UNCUT) [Import]
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Shocks, suspense, surprise - and plenty of the splatter that matters. From a filmmaking collaboration that includes Joel Silver's Zinc Entertainment comes a deliriously bent horror-comedy spree. Stephen Dorff plays Ritchie, a for-hire thief sent to Moscow to steal a priceless artifact from a penthouse. Get in, get out, go home to L.A. - what could go wrong? Short answer: everything. Longer answer: beheadings, impalings and a feverish shock-'til-you-drop bid to survive. Trapped on the high-rise's eerie 13th floor, Ritchie and others (including Jaime Murray) become hide-and-shriek playthings of the twisted heirs of Ivan the Terrible. Welcome to their bizarre little slayground, Ritchie. Fight back. Or rest in pieces.
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Botched is about an American thief in Russia (Stephen Dorff) who teams up with two Russian brothers to rob a highrise. They soon get trapped by who they think are the cops but when heads starting flying off and people start getting hacked they realize they've made a mistake.
While trying to devise a plan of escape the three robbers meet up with an elevator of people who they take hostage. After that some of the hostages are picked off one by one by a crazed barbarian serial killer and from there this cute comedy springs some surprising and hilarious twists.
I was shocked I enjoyed this movie because I didn't expect much. I love to laugh and this film got some good chuckles from me. It's not award-winning material of course but it keeps you entertained. This is one of those films just to watch to pass the time. I caught it on cable and if something better had been on I wouldn't have watched it but being a Stephen Dorff fan (even though his movies are horrible), I gave it a try.
Anyone who has followed Dorff's career might agree that Botched is definitely not one of his worst films. In fact it's the best he's made in a while. I loved seeing him in a comedic role. He has a sort of sexy, dry humor thing happening and maybe he should venture more into comedy from now on.
The movie is fast-paced and the characters are all interesting. Some are stereotypical but that's the beauty of them.
So if you're looking for a film that's sure to be a little fun then Botched might be up your alley. Just don't expect too much.
However, upon watching Stephen Dorff's Botched, I think I am being fair when I say that this was a horrible script surrounded by a great cast and intense execution. What does that really mean? I'm not too sure, but I'll sure as hell try to explain it.
Botched, directed by newcomer Kit Ryan and written by Derek Boyle, Eamon Friel, and Raymond Friel, introduces us to Ritchie Donovan, a professional thief with a streak of bad luck(played by Stephen Dorff of SFW and Blade fame). Our first contact with Ritchie displays a twice-bumbled jewel heist, of which Ritchie's employer, probable Russian mob boss Mr. Groznyi, is quite unhappy with. To redeem himself, Ritchie is given one last job, to steal a cross from a family living on the penthouse floor of a building in Moscow. With the help of brothers Peter and Yuri, the job goes bad, and the three felons are caught on the 13th floor(inferred) of the building with a group of apparently innocent bystanders, a security guard, and some Dungeons & Dragons fanatic with a real sword.
Hilarity ensues. Or at least is supposed to.
I will be fair: this film never asks to be taken seriously. There are a few memorable scenes that make sure we remember this, one which includes the use of disco lights and music, another at the end that almost makes the whole movie worthwhile. Geoff Bell, Jamie Foreman, and Hugh O'Conor all put on excellent comedic performances when they are needed, even if it is to smooth the edges of Stephen Dorff, who has a knack for turning anything remotely funny into melancholy drama. Not that that's always a bad thing, but in this movie, it doesn't work all that well. This movie has no serious intent, Stephen, so there is no need to try to make this an Oscar-worthy performance.
The problem with this movie is incoherence mixed with NOT ENOUGH FUNNY. Incoherent is only as funny as the running gag jokes that give the movie its script. Of course, sometimes too much funny incoherence can be bad(see Scary Movie 2-4, Superhero Movie, Meet The Spartans, Disaster Movie for references). Botched doesn't give us enough funny, and with a feeble script limping along, it just doesn't make the cut. Sure, there's some nice, gruesome gore in the film, but even those moments of horror are few and far between, which makes it a tough sell when going up against movies like Frontier(s) and Otis
The most unfortunate aspect of Botched is the title describes the execution. It's a poor attempt at the horror/comedy blend where the horror isn't scary and the comedy isn't funny. Throw in disco lights and a few Scooby Doo chase scenes to make it worse. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention an atrocious, tone-def, misfiring score. It's Addam's Family, carnival, Italian restaurant, Benny Hill, and Tetris theme song all rolled into one. Worst score in movie history.
For whatever reason the movie is set in Russia, where all of the actors aside from the perpetually dramatic Dorff butcher Russian accents filled with inaccuracies and inconsistencies. Speaking of butchering, look for the Ed Gein inspired wallpaper midway through the film; it's the fraction that's even remotely creepy. As for funny, there's a cheap fart scene. If you're considering watching this travesty, I'd recommend treating it like gas: pass it.
The premise, a couple of thieves steal a golden cross at the request of their crime boss, then during their getaway get stuck in the building with a serial killer, some crazies, a loony security guard, and an assortment of whiny bad guy fodder. True some of the gore was GREAT, I wasn't thrilled with one of the decapitation scenes, but the rest of the gore was spot on. The problem was that the premise got old quickly and the movie starts becoming reminiscent of that old 80's film "Clue" with Tim Currey. Now I loved "Clue" but it also didn't contain a random man dressed up like a barbarian, wielding a sword through the hallways of a high rise.
I have heard this movie compared to "Fido" "Black Sheep" and the like, but sadly I feel that this movie attempted to go there, but never made it. Rather than funny, it was silly, and failed on all attempts by the time you get to the end.
Now I suppose if you are REALLY drunk, this movie might be funny. Other than that go for something else.
Recruiting the aid of a couple of Russian morons, probably too closely related, the theft goes from bad to worse, as does the film. Stupidity abounds with the cast slowly being slaughtered by some whirling dervish and so on.
Comedy and horror really don't mix too well and you have to be careful about your mix. Severance got it absolutely right and The Cottage comes in a close second. Here, it's like oil and water, one or the other.
This wretched experience brings the Keystone Kops to a new level of sophistication.
For what it's worth, "grozny" (pronounced "grozh-nyee") means "terrible." As in "Ivan the Terrible."
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