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Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain (Revised): Understanding the Effects of Your Wounded Past [Paperback]

Paul Hegstrom
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Book Description

August 2011
Despair. Emotional isolation. Self-loathing. Immaturity. Abusive actions.

These are just some of the damaging fragments that remain embedded within our personalities, behaviors, and souls when we are broken as children. The memory of the past may seem distant and clouded, but within its scars deep wounds remain that continue to inflict pain upon our adult lives--and often end up spilling into the lives of others.

In Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain, Paul Hegstrom, author of Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them, shows us the scars from his broken childhood and shares practical and proven methods for facing and dealing with the pain of the past. By using scientific research, psychological studies, and biblical principles--especially those found in the Jewish model of raising children--he points us to the place of healing where we are finally free to pursue authentic relationships and build healthy emotional intimacy with others.

This updated version of Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain is an excellent resource for pastors, teachers, counselors, psychologists, parents, or anyone wounded by an abusive past.

Frequently Bought Together

Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain (Revised): Understanding the Effects of Your Wounded Past + Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them: Breaking the Cycle of Physical and Emotional Abuse
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Help for people with troubled pasts Oct. 30 2001
Format:Paperback
This book proved helpful to me as I search for answers to how to overcome an abusive marriage that harmed my children. It helps to explain why just wanting to be different than your parents isn't always easy.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.6 out of 5 stars  49 reviews
28 of 30 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Help for people with troubled pasts Oct. 30 2001
By Nancy E. Jones - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book proved helpful to me as I search for answers to how to overcome an abusive marriage that harmed my children. It helps to explain why just wanting to be different than your parents isn't always easy.
29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Answers March 13 2005
By Reader - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
This book provides an excellent complement to Paul's previous book on domestic violence. "Broken Children", reaches deeper into the hearts and minds of those who abuse and the people who find themselves living with abusers. Victims can identify with the helper and rescuer discussions and find motivation for change. Abusers can discover the root of their problems and address the shame vs. guilt thinking that motivates their behavior.

This is another wonderful effort by Dr. Paul Hegstrom that gives answers to some of life's toughest problems.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A great read. Dec 2 2007
By S. Robertson - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
This is a great read for anyone who is an abuse survivor or someone who lives or works with an abuse victim. It is easy to read and explains so much that other books on this topic don't. It is not full of psycho mumbo jumbo and written in lay mans terms. Highly recommended.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A worthy pioneering effort in the literature of abuse heaing April 12 2010
By JBM - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I see a lot of the reviews for this book merely praise it but don't attempt to put any context around what is commendable in this book and areas where it falls short or there is room for further excellence beyond its scope. The thing that this book does so well is it brings a strong personal testimony to bear on a situation that all too many face alone: how do I heal from the abusive and sinful nature that I learned and assumed firsthand through personal childhood trauma? Dr. Hegstrom does a great job of describing in simple, plain and direct English the nature of how as the title implies, we have children who have their natural development and maturity cycle of life interrupted by abuse and trauma. This leaves them emotionally arrested and unable to grow the mature emotional and mental means to deal with life problems as their physical body matures and they enter adult life in terms of the scope of demands and responsibilities. He articulates this model with clarity and compassion and a good deal of "been there, done it" that is convincing because it is in its core essence, solid personally vetted spiritual and intellectual truth. That said, it is uncomfortable how science and technology paradigms and claims and faith-based positions are mixed somewhat liberally together, one attempting to fortify the other. For example, the idea that we have "software" that is divinely programmed is a marvelous idea or construct but its really one that is just that - a construct, a metaphor of convenience. It's not something that the Bible, let alone neuroscience has confirmed the exact details of. It's theory presented with gospel authority and that mix might cause problems where the wounded faithful accept pseudo-science or quasi-science blindly and without question. But as a book that makes a case for the wounded to have hope to "rewire" their brains if they are teachable, that part is not ever likely to be unseated. That's solid Biblically rooted mature understanding of growth in faith and virtue through repentance and atoning life choices. Good stuff but two very vastly different subjects and approaches to healing (healing through faith and scripture, healing through scientific remapping of the brain) are surveyed and at times combined and the text can not do both of them anything like full justice in the light, fast 152 pages this book provides. It is at its best really a manual for healing first and foremost that has utility for those who are open to a Biblically rooted faith-based approach. Much of what Dr. Hegstrom is voicing is open to further scientific study and refinement. He makes a lot of bold statements about brain chemistry without (as far as I can tell) backing those up with qualified studies. That doesn't mean he's wrong in his overall premise (in fact, I think he is more right than many who leave God out), but I do think with time some of his more emboldened claims and statements will be challenged and likely refined by more study in the area of brain chemistry among wounded/non-wounded subjects. I am a Christian and a rational intellectual who understands and has read widely in matters of both science and faith. I applaud his early efforts to expand this critical work around healing childhood trauma in the adult population and to bring the lost to the light and hope that is real and true. But some of the author's conclusion might reflect more the subjectivity of Hegstrom's admittedly extreme and anecdotal life experience. I saw where there is room for further study here and I just thought that ought to be noted as I didn't see that mitigating view in the other reviews posted here. I know it sounds like I am being more negative, but just guardedly positive is how I intend my words and critique here. I recommend the book with the mild reservations as stated.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life Changing Jan. 5 2011
By alabamalegalgal - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a must read for anyone who has ever suffered at the hands of abuse. I was in an abusive marriage for 27 years. I read this book & wept. It answered so many questions about my marriage, my children, & why we act the way we do. I bought several copies of this book. I gave a copy to all my children for Christmas & still have some to share with other folks who are dealing with these issues. I can't say enough good things about this book.
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