Much like the jazz song accompanying my worst nightmare, in which every band member plays something different all at the same time, seeing one of my twin daughters approach me out of the corner of my eye carrying "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" brings about a cold sweat and makes me want to reach for a tube of airplane glue and a warm lager. I originally checked this out of our local library for them in the hopes of temporarily weaning them off the glass teat world of Barney, Little People, and Kipper, but little did I realize they would take to it like flies to garbage, memorizing most of it within a few hours. Shortly thereafter, I tried to hide the book but it kept reappearing until the mere sight of it became about as welcome as Roger Clinton backstage at a Marilyn Manson concert. My selfish motives and petty complaining aside, "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" is full of colorful pictures, an easy-to-learn rhyming scheme and by its very nature is trance inducing to most kids under the age of 3. For that reason alone, it's a godsend.