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Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel [Paperback]

Jean Kilbourne , Mary Pipher
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Nov 2 2000
"When was the last time you felt this comfortable in a relationship?"

-- An ad for sneakers

"You can love it without getting your heart broken."

-- An ad for a car

"Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke."

-- A woman in a cigarette ad

Many advertisements these days make us feel as if we have an intimate, even passionate relationship with a product. But as Jean Kilbourne points out in this fascinating and shocking exposé, the dreamlike promise of advertising always leaves us hungry for more. We can never be satisfied, because the products we love cannot love us back.

Drawing upon her knowledge of psychology, media, and women's issues, Kilbourne offers nothing less than a new understanding of a ubiquitous phenomenon in our culture. The average American is exposed to over 3,000 advertisements a day and watches three years' worth of television ads over the course of a lifetime. Kilbourne paints a gripping portrait of how this barrage of advertising drastically affects young people, especially girls, by offering false promises of rebellion, connection, and control. She also offers a surprising analysis of the way advertising creates and then feeds an addictive mentality that often continues throughout adulthood.


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Review

Susan Faludi author of Backlash Jean Kilbourne's work is pioneering and crucial to the dialogue of one of the most underexplored, yet most powerful, realms of American culture: advertising. We owe her a great debt.

Self magazine Backlash meets The Beauty Myth....a scathing attack on the powers that tell us what, how much, when and why to buy.

About the Author

Jean Kilbourne,Ed.D, is internationally recognized for her pioneering work on alcohol and tobacco advertising and the image of women in advertising. A widely published writer and speaker who has twice been named Lecturer of the Year by the National Association for Campus Activities, she is best known for her award-winning documentaries, Killing Us Softly, Slim Hopes, and Pack of Lies. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
IF YOU'RE LIKE MOST PEOPLE, YOU THINK THAT ADVERTISING HAS NO INFLUENCE on you. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars The truth about ads April 19 2002
Format:Paperback
I didn't think ads affected me in any way, until I've read this book. It talks about the strategies ads do to sell their products. This includes making women appear as sexual objects and how ads teach men to treat women as objects. And How this affects our society. Don't think it does? Oh it certainly does!

This is the truth about ads. The harsh truth is ads don't care about you or your well being or how we treat women or men, they just want to catch our attention so that the product will sell. Its disgusting but its the truth, how we're so used to the messages that ads give us that we think that what their telling us is the truth.

When in fact its all lies! The reviewer below is right, you'll never look at ads the same way after reading this. The writer doesn't try to be funny, but is angry and has a right to be. Its disgusting the way ads depict women as objects, I feel so sad for women everywhere that are exploited by the ads.

This book will open your eyes and tell you the truth about ads.

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Format:Paperback
Jean Kilbourne has a truly rare gift for finding purpose in and explicating insight into the thousands of ads that bombard us on a daily basis. It is fascinating to watch her meticulous, brilliant, even-handed exploration into the world of advertising. Her cogent remarks on the psychology of advertising bring a rare glimpse into previously unchartered waters. Having been a long-time fan of her films, it was also a distinct pleasure to read about her own personal and professional development in the first chapter as it was affected by the products advertisers insist we need to be fulfilled. Those interested in psychology, sociology, communication/cultural studies, and feminism should ensure this book is read and kept forefront on the bookshelf. It would be ideal as a college text as well.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Save your soul: read this book! Jun 9 2002
Format:Paperback
I encourage you to buy and read this book. It's a source of reason, enlightenment, passion, love. It's meaningful, revealing. I read it in a few days, subtracting time to my other activities. Each time it has been difficult to stop reading and close the book. If you are going to read only one book this year, choose this one.

This book is focused on a few, fundamental, issues (excerpts are between "quotation marks").
1 - It explains that advertising works. Most people think they are not influenced by advertising. But advertising works best precisely because people don't think it works on them.
"If you are like most people, you think that advertising has no influence on you. This is what advertisers want you to believe. But, if that were true, why would companies spend over $200 billion a year on advertising? Why would they be willing to spend over $250,000 to produce an average television commercial and another $250,000 to air it? If they want to broadcast their commercial during the Super Bowl, they will gladly spend over a million dollars to produce it and over one and a half million to air it. After all, they might have the kind of success that Victoria's Secret did during the 1999 Super Bowl. When they paraded bra-and-panty-clad models across TV screens for a mere thirty seconds, one million people turned away from the game to log on to the Website promoted in the ad. No influence?"

2 - It makes you understand that the message mass media and advertising repeat us moment by moment ("The average American is exposed to at least three thousand ads every day") is that happiness comes from products. Alas, products are only things: no matter how much we love them, they won't love us back. By the way, didn't you ask why - in the car commercials - there are all those cars entering tunnels?
We are sold models impossible to follow - and just wrong. But effortlessly advertised: you are made up to think they're true. Thus, a sense of strain comes. I think that many problems our society faces (high divorce rate, violence, alcoholism, drugs) come from this split. I'm a pharmacist: it's amazing how many tranquilizers I sell every day.

3 - It lets you to realize that advertising often turns people into objects.
"It is becoming clearer that this objectification has consequences, one of which is the effect that it has on sexuality and desire. Sex in advertising and the media is often criticized from a puritanical perspective - there's too much of it, it's too blatant, it will encourage kids to be promiscuous, and so forth. But sex in advertising has far more to do with trivializing sex than promoting it, with narcissism than with promiscuity, with consuming than with connecting. The problem is not that it is sinful, but that it is synthetic and cynical. (...) We never see eroticized images of older people, imperfect people, people with disabilities. The gods have sex, the rest of us watch - and judge our own imperfect sex lives against the fantasy of constant desire and sexual fulfilment portrayed in the media. (...) We can never measure up. Inevitably, this affects our self-images and radically distorts reality. "You have the right to remain sexy", says an ad featuring a beautiful young woman, her legs spread wide, but the subtext is "only if you look like this". And she is an object - available, exposed, essentially passive. She has the right to remain sexy, but not the right to be actively sexual."

4 - Did you know that we are a product? Mass media sell us to advertisers.
"Make no mistake: The primary purpose of the mass media is to sell audiences to advertisers. We are the product. Although people are much more sophisticated about advertising now than even a few years ago, most are still shocked to learn this."

"Through focus groups and depth interviews, psychological researchers can zero in on very specific target audiences - and their leaders. "Buy this 24-year-old and get all his friends absolutely free", proclaims an ad for MTV directed to advertisers. MTV presents itself publicly as a place for rebels and nonconformists. Behind the scenes, however, it tells potential advertisers that its viewers are lemmings who will buy whatever they are told to buy."

5 - I think this book is also valuable because it re-states the ethical principle that there are no shortcuts to riches, no shortcuts to happiness. There are no free lunches.
"Today the promise is that we can change our lives instantly, effortlessly - by winning the lottery, selecting the right mutual fund, having a fashion makeover, losing weight, having tighter abs, buying the right car or soft drink. It is this belief that such transformation is possible that drives us to keep dieting, to buy more stuff, to read fashion magazines that give us the same information over and over again."

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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Jean's definition of a beautiful child...
OK, so I have not read the book. However, I listened to an interview with her on NPR yesterday. Anyway, what really caught my attention and what I wanted to share with you was at... Read more
Published on Jun 23 2004 by Don Pendergraft
4.0 out of 5 stars A teen's thoughts on this book
This book was a real eyeopener to the way the I am presented images and expectations as a teen in society. Read more
Published on May 26 2004 by Liz
3.0 out of 5 stars I read it
The book I have just finished reading is Can't Buy my Love by Jean Kilbourne. I think it's a well-written book. Read more
Published on Mar 10 2004 by mik green
4.0 out of 5 stars Mini- Review
Mini- Review
In review of the book I'm reading Can't Buy My Love is about advertising. It doesn't discriminate women as much as I thought it would. Read more
Published on Mar 10 2004 by PHILIP MONTOYA
4.0 out of 5 stars Quite a platform
A very galvanizing narrative. And important for the American conscience ... as Europe has been noticing this kind of encroaching manipulation for some time. Read more
Published on Feb 19 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read
This book should be required reading for every female high school freshman. Every woman who has dieted, picked herself apart for her appearance or stared longingly at a magazine... Read more
Published on Jan 19 2004 by J. T. Florence
5.0 out of 5 stars Exposes the "sellers" of Liberation
Fantastic analysis and documentation. Proves that just like the empty slogans of "freedom" and "justice", in so called "advanced societies", woman's liberation is reduced to a... Read more
Published on April 6 2003
5.0 out of 5 stars BE CAREFUL - This is DEADLY PERSUASIONS with a new title!!
I loved this book when it was originally published at Deadly Persuasion. Be careful when ordering... Read more
Published on Dec 3 2002 by "thebookperson"
4.0 out of 5 stars can't hold my attention
this book provides an abundance of information regarding advertising's effect in american culture, and throughout the world. Read more
Published on May 28 2002 by ryan wold
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating and Frightening
Jean Kilbourne does an excellent job of taking you through the mindfield of advertising. I was shocked to learn that America is one of the few countries to allow advertising... Read more
Published on Jan 10 2002 by Mary Snyder
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