Cat Women of the Moon

These women should only stay on the moon....

The whole adventure begins and ends in an hour, and concerns a group of astronaughts (including Sonny Tufts, Victor Jory and Marie Windsor) who are on an expedition to the dark side of the moon. When they get there, the exotic lovelies try to de-flower the male members of the crew and generally waffle on like little clones of Germaine Greer. Before you know it, there is a dramatic love triangle between the female co-pilot and two of her workmates, and many more impossible plot twists. There is also the laughable way that the crew discovers 'air' on the moon, when Marie Windsor decides to light up a cigarette!!!

Marie Windsor is the main standout in the cast. A perfect scream-queen, she chews up the scenery like an old pro, and would be a shoe-in for the Joan Crawford look-alike contest (complete with "Mildred Pierce"-style hairdo!).

Yes, there are few B-grade horror films that so perfectly embody the best (or worst) aspects of the genre that CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON.

A rocket is a projectile, much like a bullet. It has a trajectory and it goes until it runs out of fuel or it hits something. The crew flies this thing with the ease of a bumper car. This is only the beginning.

There is some sort of chemical spill when the rocket gets hit by an asteroid. Kip the strong silent type dons a chemical protective suit to take care of the spill with a fire extinguisher(?). Of course the two crew members that help him change into it (in front of a row of metal gym lockers no less) breathe in an unhealthy dose of chemicals as they lower Kip into the danger area.

The most pointed out stupidity of this flick is the infamous 'cigarette' scene. You see life must stay on the dark side of the moon. If not they'll be burned to a crisp. This is demonstrated by tossing a cigarette across the light/dark border.

The 'Cat Women' get their name from Kip, for that's what he calls them. Let me point out that Kip loves his pistol by the way. While exploring the moon, Kip pulls out his gun as a meteor comes crashing down. He finally uses it effectively against giant moon spiders and fleeing moon women whom he shoots in the back as they flee.

The commander Laird is a goofball x10. Marilyn Monroe fans will remember him as Tom Mckenzie from 'The Seven Year Itch'. His leadership skills are questionable as is his interaction concerning members of the fairer sex.

Round this out with awful special effects, no point, and a running time of under an hour and you have a real dud. So why the five stars? I happen to be a sucker for terrible movies. I love bad movies. This flick rates right up there with Plan 9 from Outer Space. Awful, awful, awful. I loved it.

This is the finest film ever made.

I must take issue with those who continue to assert the superiority of PLAN NINE and BRIDE OF THE MONSTER over this obviuosly transcendental and significant tale.

It is not a reliance on popular cat imagery that rescues this film from oblivion.

It is the obvious importance of a voyage to a lost vessel of a planet, populated entirely by Cat-females, which must somehow be rectified or modified by earthlings, that launches this stretch of celluloid into the immortality it deserves.

..and don't think it was easy for Victor Jory and Co.! These cat-women put up one heck of a fight !

So truly, a reorientation of prioirities in the film-world is in order. I have not yet seen the famous DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS. I am, however, familiar with the Ed Wood, and cognate, creations. Few connect up with CAT-WOMEN for sheer relevancy in our day.

Where would we be without the catharsis of dive-bombing spiders frightening the likes of Mary Windsor? Or the specter of evil she-demons speaking through her as though through tongues of possession?

Can we honestly admit to a seperation of soul from the desire of the sweeter Cat-Women to date earthmen, and sip coke by the seashores of earth, itself?

Who has not felt the frustrations of an amorous Jory, who must ride his affections for the alluring yet troubled Ms. Windsor over the quaking, surging plot of this mighty film?

I can, nor need, speak no more.

You can surely begin to sense now, why this film is a necessity, and why it transcends other cinematic efforts.

CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON has stood too long in the shadows of strong, but lesser efforts such as ROBOT MONSTER. Surely it deserves to stand along side of them.

Buy either edition now. I long for the DVD to surface, that I might always have an extra on hand when travelling.