Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents: Amazon.ca: Nina Brown: Books

Product Description

Review

"Children of narcissistic parents are provided techniques to dig themselves out of impossible relationships with their parents...a thoroughly well thought out, useful manual to help adult children move toward more productive connection to their narcissistic parents, to themselves, and to others."
--Joan Medway, Ph.D., LCSW, psychologist in private practice in Potomac, MD --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Book Description

Millions of adults grew up with immature, self-absorbed parents who made their own children responsible for their physical and emotional well-being, expected admiration and constant attention, and reacted with criticism and blame when their slightest need went unmet. In this accessible book, psychologist Nina Brown helps grown children come to terms with the results of such an upbringing, including tendencies to overcomply to others' needs, withdraw when someone needs nurturing, and lack self-esteem. Through self-exploration exercises and protective and coping strategies, Brown helps readers work toward developing a "healthy narcissism" by identifying destructive patterns their parents may have had, evaluating attitudes and behaviors that may be hampering their own adult relationships, dealing with self-doubt and other negative feelings, and piecing together a more integrated sense of self.

See all Product Description

Inside This Book (Learn More)

First Sentence
Parents with a destructive narcissistic pattern will have behaviors and attitudes that are designed to preserve a self-image of perfection, entitlement, and superiority. Read the first page

Explore More
Concordance

Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover

Suggested Tags from Similar Products

(What's this?)

Be the first one to add a relevant tag (keyword that's strongly related to this product)

narcissism(6)

daughters who dislike their mother(5)

self-help(3)

psychology(2)

mental health(2)

narcissistic personality(2)

personality disorders(2)

emotions(2)

family(2)

abuse(2)

Customer Reviews

19 Reviews

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

Average Customer Review

4.2 out of 5 stars (19 customer reviews)

Share your thoughts with other customers:

Create your own review

Most helpful customer reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read, Jan 11 2007

By

Mark Twain, Sam (Here) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents (Paperback)

Given the talent that narcissists have for making you feel that (1) it's all your fault or (2) it's your imagination, this is a very nice read that will make you feel that you aren't crazy. It also will help you realize that your needs are legitimate.

The book fleshes out the dimensions of a narcissistic personality, not in a coldly clinical way but in a matter-of-fact way that uses ordinary language. As for the typos that another reviewer commented on, I didn't notice them. I'm a journalist, and I thought the author succeeded in using concise and easily understood words. She also succeeded in giving some very useful tips for dealing with a narcissist. Most of us have been taught that it's best to be truthful, to say so if we've been hurt by someone else; we've learned that this is the healthy and responsible way to behave. Not so, if you're around a narcissist, as this book will explain; it's better if you DON'T let on that the narcissist has affected you, because you'll likely be criticized for being too sensitive. If you KNOW a narcissist, you ALREADY know that it's best not to let your feelings show, and you already know that the standard advice that well-meaning friends might give, won't work. This book will give you some advice that DOES work, and it will also validate your perceptions of what it's like to be around a narcissist. At 180 pages, this book is not the be-all and end-all, but it's quite helpful, and I wouldn't miss it. If your parent is a narcissist, you might also benefit by looking at the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells," a book that deals with those who have borderline personality disorder. Not all narcissists have the disorder, but a good number do, and it's worth checking out if you're in a relationship that's "all about them," and where you are discounted. Particularly check out this additional title if the narcissist in your life is emotionally volatile, given to rages and emotional abuse, and has their own view of reality that doesn't match how you recall things. Both titles will help you treat the narcissist in your life as decently as possible, while also helping you preserve your own mental health, too.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Report abuse

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A Worthwhile Resource, Mar 16 2004

By

Reid Swetland (Cape Ann, MA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

This review is from: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents (Paperback)

As a therapist, this is a book I would recommend to appropriate clients. Of particular help, Dr. Brown confirms that the narcissist is not likely to change because they are incapable of seeing anything is wrong with their behavior. Therefore, it is not the child's responsibility to help the parent change; the child has to focus on what they can control, i.e. themselves. Among the helpful strategies, I also appreciated her candid descriptions of anticipated responses by parents and how to handle them. While there are a few typos and it is not the best edited text, these concerns reflect the editor, and not Dr. Brown's content. There are relatively few resources on this subject and this is one of the better ones.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Report abuse

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Uncanny insights, helpful suggestions, not great literature, Nov 24 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents (Paperback)

I found the author's descriptions of narcissistic parents and their affects on adult children to be concise, insightful and helpful. The author begins by describing the narcissist parent and the adult child's responses to him / her. The behaviors included were wide ranging and the moments of recognition frequent. As the child of an artful narcissist, I felt like Brown understood my position and tied together behaviors that I had not previously seen as stemming from my own parent's narcissism. Brown goes on to offer sympathy for the plight of adult children of narcissists, but establishes a strong position that the parent will not change. The message to children of narcissists is to move on, but not without tools for dealing with the narcissist and the ability to care for oneself. Brown offers practical advice on how to lessen the impact of the narcissist's volleys, which are helpful without being trite. (I've even experimented with some of the suggestions that Brown makes, e.g. flatter the narcissist, agree with his / her criticisms, and these are enormously empowering because they allow the person targetted by the narcissist to gain a sense of logic and clarity in the interaction.)

The one weakness of the book is the writer's style, which is sometimes sloppy. All in all, that was a small price to pay for a book that contains wonderful insights and genuinely helpful suggestions.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Report abuse

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review

› See all 19 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

Want to see more reviews on this item?

› Go to Amazon.com to see all 109 reviews 4.1 out of 5 stars

Most recent customer reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm self-absorbed right now
I've read everything on dysfunctional parents and families, from the novels SYBIL and BARK OF THE DOGWOOD to those by Pat Conroy (PRINCE OF TIDES and THE GREAT SANTINI). Read more

Published on July 14 2007 by Richard McNally

5.0 out of 5 stars Whether you were abused or not
Whether you were abused or not, or were a child of self-absorbed parents, this book should be read. If you're one of the lucky ones who escaped, then you'll want to know about the... Read more

Published on Jan 2 2007 by Garrick O.