Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
Yet another awful remake....Oct. 9 2009
- Published on Amazon.com
I'll spare you some wasted time... seriously. Yeah, this movie is that bad. I'd rather be bludgeoned unconscious with dried ears of corn than watch this film again. (I live in Iowa, so this is an option!) I had a few unintentional laughs, especially during the child killing spree the main protagonist went on during his escape attempt. This film definitely has the highest body count of children killed in any horror film I've seen. Between that and the "sex scene" in the film, I'm still shivering. But anyway... I digress.
"Children of the Corn," in case you actually are living in a cornfield, is a remake of a prior film of the same name, both of which are based on a Steven King story. (I can still remember one of the creepy lines from the original film, although I haven't seen it in years: "He wants you too, Malachi. He wants you, too.") The plot is quite interesting for a horror film: it's set in a small Nebraska town and revolves around a religious cult composed of children that worship a being that lives in the corn fields. A husband and wife encounter the kids, and the events that follow make up the rest of the story. I'll not go into it in more detail, as other reviews have done it in already.
Unlike a lot of people, I don't mind so much that Hollywood is hell-bent on making endless remakes, but I wish they would at least make a better remake. This film is in no way better than its predecessor. The acting is atrocious - not that they were given very good dialogue. The lines were forced, and the actors are stiff and unbelievable. The special effects are laughable and, if you can believe it, worse than the 1984 film. So much for progress. I think that I read that the SyFy (formerly known as Sci-fi) channel backed the making of this film or something to that effect. I've gotten to the point where if I see Sci-fi channel on a DVD, I run.... I turn around and flee for my life. This movie should have been no different, but I only found this out post-viewing. If the idea of this film is interesting to you, by all means, go watch the original film. It's far superior. You've been warned! :)
32 of 39 people found the following review helpful
Children of the Corn (2009).... It takes a lot of people to make a movie this bad.Nov. 27 2009
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Children of the Corn (2009): 1 out of 10: Good lord did they screw this movie up. First, the writer (George Goldsmith) who adapted the original Children of the Corn is some sort of savant. Apparently all the good scenes in the original movie (The killing of the adults, Isaac and Malachi going at it in the climax, were his invention.) This movie cut all that good stuff out and replaced it with the Viet Cong and public child sex.
The blame rests squarely on Mr. Stephen King's shoulders. He did not like the changes the 1984 and wanted to stick to his original story. Therefore, the movie takes place in the mid-seventies and the main couple is a divorcing, squabbling mess. In addition, the main character hallucinates Viet Cong shooting in the corn which looks ten times worse than it sounds. Oh they have a sex scene in a church 'The time for fertilization has come!' where two teens have sex while nine year olds look on masturbating corn cobs.... good lord I didn't need to see that.
The casting is horrible. If I never see Kandyse McClure again (in the Linda Hamilton role) it will be to soon. She ruins the first half of an already horrible film. Daniel Newman as Malachi and Preston Bailey as Isaac ruin the second half. Daniel looks like he is reading off cue cards while Preston is about as threatening as a kitten.
Oh and if that all was not a big enough F You to the audience, the monster never shows up at the end.
It isn't like the original Children of the Corn was Casablanca or something but good lord this is an embarrassment for all involved.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Oh, No, Not Again!Oct. 3 2010
- Published on Amazon.com
Good Grief, but was this truly hideous remake a big pile of--garbage! We're treated to the most obnoxious and repulsive "heroine" ever to appear in a horror flick. As portayed by actress Kandyse McClure, "Vicki" is the wife from hell. For the first thirty minutes, we're treated to her screeching, cursing, degrading her long suffering husband, David Anders, a recent Vietnam vet. The wife jeers and insults him in a non-stop barrage that never ends. When the husband runs over a corn child, the wife turns up the insults and one wonders what the husband sees in her--and why he takes it.
When the wife is finally murdered, you want to applaud.And the rest of the movie is just one endless marathon were the husband runs through cornfields. His pursuers are so fat, you can imagine them ordering wash tubs of corn dogs during breaks. Oh, yeah, we're also supposed to be scared of a little boy whose supposed to be the leader--yet, he comes off as a brat who needs his diapers changed real fast.
And then we have a bizarre sex scene where a teenage couple strip naked before all the other oorn children have sex--with the little ones all grinning and jumping up and down and leering at each other. You can imagine the director screaming: "Act like you love it! Act like dirty little kids!"
As for the corn monster, there isn't one. We see corn stalks shaking and then the hero begins to shriek hysterically and the next thing we're shone, is the hero trussed up like a scarecrow. This is a typical Sci-Fi Film, made on a poverty-row budget with a cast of no-name and no-talent performers. This woul be a fun movie to show at a Worst Movie of All Time Party--where it would join the ranks of other worst movie candidates like "Rest Stop," "Lake Placid II" and "100 Million BC" starring King of the Z'--Christopher Atkins.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Just watched this on SyFy, 2.5 starsSept. 26 2009
- Published on Amazon.com
I agree with the other reviewer when he said that this movie leaves you wanting more (maybe for the wrong reasons), but it follows the Stephen King's original short story not the 1984 film, so you shouldn't go in expecting it to recreate every detail of the original. My only real issue with this reboot/"re-imagining" is that Preston Bailey who plays Isaac is terrible. It seemed as if he was handed his lines immediately before scenes were shot and was scrambling to get all of the words out before he forgot what he was supposed to say. Also, his delivery was just awful... he always used the same tone and never seemed to put emphasis on any of his words. John Franklin's performance as Isaac in the original was powerful and commanding, it was easy to see why even the older children would follow/fear him... here it's laughable when Malachi (Daniel Newman) takes orders from Isaac. Negatives aside, all of the other cast members played their parts well (Daniel Newman gave the best performance imo) and the blood/gore seemed to be of a higher quality than what's typical of a SciFi (SyFy) Original. Children of the Corn was actually a decent flick, worth watching at least once... don't go in expecting much, but don't let the "SyFy Original" tag completely scare you off either.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
An actual product review of the DVD and not the TV broadcast (and WOW this movie sucks).Oct. 6 2009
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The DVD version has a nude sex scene with two of the "children" getting it on (on top of a church altar) in front of an audience of 5 to 18 year olds. How's that for classy? I don't remember anything like that in Stephen King's original short story but the makers of this film swear they are being faithful to the source material. In many ways they are but this film is so ineptly executed that it is an even bigger insult to Stephen King than the original (not so bad) film was.
The only bright spot in this rancid remake is Daniel Newman as Malachi. That guy can act and he gives Courtney Gaines a run for his money with his amazing and sympathetic portrayal of Malachi. Aside from Newman the rest of the acting is simply awful, particularly from the "children" who seem barely able to speak english. The kid playing Isaac isn't even elementary school play material. This kid is an absolutely rotten actor.
The script, while in theory is closer to the story, brings in all sorts of nonsense about Burt being a Viet Nam vet who is apparently experiencing post-traumatic stress in the corn field (and of course we get the obligatory flash back sequences). If you thought the original film was slow paced, try sitting through this snooze fest. Burt and Vicki yack and yack with a dead body in the trunk and then Burt wanders through the corn for a half hour experiencing flash backs that are just pointless and sleep inducing.
And guess what? The original film had BETTER visual effects in it than this one since this remake has ABSOLUTELY NO visual effects whatsoever. YOU WON'T SEE HE WHO WALKS BEHIND THE ROWS IN THIS FILM. Not even a glimpse. Not even a big fluffy glowing cloud formation. Not a gopher from hell in sight. NOTHING. THEY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER. What a complete waste. Yes the movie ends like the story with Burt and Vicki dead on crosses with their eyes gouged out but to see the actual end of the film you have to watch the credits all the way to the end and then the film picks up again with the children out in the corn field about to act out the finale of the film. Why on earth this was done is a complete mystery. Perhaps incompetent director Donald Borchers forgot to film any connecting scenes and decided to show the credits before inserting the final portion of the film. Who knows. It's all so amateurish, awful and absurd that you won't care and probably won't make it through more than a few minutes of this entirely terrible film.
Well...maybe not entirely terrible as the set design in the church is a little better than in the first film and the haunting theme music of Johnathan Elias is retained for this version. And of course there is the truly excellent performance by Daniel Newman as Malachi. Still, a great score and one good actor can't save this truly worthless, wretched mess.