Clash of the Titans

 

 

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Perhaps my original review was a tad harsh, so I have re-written much of it.

I saw this movie theatrically in 3D, which was an awful, headache-inducing experience. Lesson learned: Movies filmed in 3D look great. Movies converted to 3D look like there is a fine layer of mud on the screen. Then I saw it on blu, during a movie night where my choice (District 9) was voted down.

At least the 2D blu-ray disc looks better than the 3D. However, that can't save this movie, which is over-reliant on CG creatures and settings; all action, no pacing, no story, no character, no emotion. Let's face it, there was never a legitimate reason to remake Clash of the Titans. There was never anything wrong with the original, except perhaps a lil' too much homage to Star Wars (robotic owls and young men looking to escape the doldrums of their isolated lives).

When this project was first announced, I knew it had the potential to be a disaster. The only thing that could have saved it would have been going deeper back into the original Greek mythology, which the original film used only sparingly. I mean, there was no robotic owl in Greek mythology. But no, this film is even more loosely based on the source material, while continuing to use made-up characters from the original (Calibos), and let's face it...the script sucks. The CG is hit and miss, with some things looking great and others look just awful. The direction leaves something to be desired, and character development isn't even in this movie's vocabulary. It's a shame, because while Sam Worthington does nothing for me, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes are not too bad. The rest of the performances are like cardboard, with only the odd cameo (Pete Postlethwait's comes to mind) having any sort of spark.

I do think it it's funny that we always hear the same argument: "It's a summer action movie, it doesn't need a good script." Why not? You see that same argument in defense of numerous action movies on Amazon. Action and script are not mutually exclusive. But it's your brain cells you're killing, not mine. And it's not just just the script in this case. It's the crappy acting, the generic CG, the fact that it's an unoriginal remake of a classic movie, etc. Rotten Tomatoes readers have spoken: a 29% rating. Near universal bad reviews everywhere? Action movies don't have to be stupid. I don't want to turn my brain off when I'm being entertained. I don't know about you, but just looking at action on the screen without any sort of raison d'etre puts me in a coma.

Bonus features: Deleted scenes on the blu-ray are actually better than a lot of the movie itself.

Take a stand against Hollywood remakes. Don't buy this. Hell, don't even rent it. Just avoid it. Go get the original. It's available on a really nice blu-ray. Burgess Meredith, Sir Lawrence friggin' Olivier, Maggie Smith...and, of course, the brilliant animation of Ray Harryhausen. I met Harryhausen once. This remake was in the works even then, and he didn't even want to talk about it. He knew it would be not only a disaster, but would tarnish the reputation of the name Clash of the Titans. He was right.

The only way to stop Hollywood from making dumb, brainless remakes is to vote with your wallet. I got chills when I heard this was the first of a trilogy. Lord, no.

No stars!

"Clash of the Titans" is a truly amazing film -- never before have I seen a movie that is so BUSY, and yet so staggeringly DULL.

This stupid movie was apparently made to cash in on the wild success of 300, but it pretty much missed everything that made that movie enjoyable. Instead, this remake of the classic cult film is full of everything and nothing -- Louis Leterrier crams it with horrible acting, endless CGI, and an obnoxiously preachy plot that ends up being brain-bleedingly boring.

A fisherman finds a floating coffin, which holds a dead princess and a still-living baby. He adopts the child, Perseus (Sam Worthington), and raises him as well -- until the god Hades (Ralph Fiennes) destroys Perseus' family and fishing boat. He's marched to the city of Argos, where he sees the king and queen declare war on the gods...

... only to have Hades proclaim that if Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) is not sacrificed within ten days, the kraken will destroy Argos. A mysterious woman named Io (Gemma Arterton) tells Perseus that he is actually the son of Zeus (Liam Neeson), and is the only hope of slaying the kraken and saving Argos.

Honestly, the story of Perseus is one of the awesomest, most movieworthy stories in Greek mythology -- you've got a demigod hero, a sea monster, a flying horse, and a snake-headed creature that turns people to stone. But apparently, THAT story isn't good enough for the people in Hollywood. They even mock the original movie in one scene involving the mechanical owl Bubo.

Instead director Leterrier crams all sorts of weird random stuff into the movie -- it's a constant onslaught of giant scorpions, CGI monsters, djinni, and witches who look like Guillermo del Toro discards. The plot feels skeletal and bloated at the same time, with horribly silly dialogue ("It is death who should be afraid of us!") and dozeworthy action scenes.

Even worse, the screenwriters seem hell-bent on pushing their own theological philosophy on us ("God sucks and ruins everything, so don't worship him") NON-STOP. There's scene after scene of "We hate the gods! Gods are awful! Let's stupidly anger them even though they're incredibly powerful!"... only for them to undermine their own message in the last reel.

And really, how can you go wrong when you have Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes in your movie, playing GODS? Well, you can cast the bland lump that is Sam Worthington as your lead, a pouting prettyboy who brings no charisma to his role, giving Neeson nothing to do except throw divine tantrums and Fiennes nothing to do except slink around being vaguely sinister (since a god of death HAS to be evil, right? WRONG!). As for Gemma Arterton, she just sort of wanders in and out of the story, serving as a source of convenient information.

"Clash of the Titans" would be better titled "Flush of the Titans" -- a reeking lump of brainless cinema that stupefies even as it preaches. The original is flawed, but infinitely superior to this one.

Despite a promising cast this is little more than a hollow popcorn flick, heavily laden with CGI effects. To me there is nothing more tiresome than the overuse of computer effects, but I know there are plenty of people who could easily have their whole film done in this manner so it's a personal preference. The various creatures are amazing, to be sure. But the plot does little than rush from one battle to the next with little room from any developments. There is little to engage the audience beyond the momentum of getting to the next surge of adrenaline. There is also no room for character development. Pete Postlethwaite was a breath of fresh air, but his appearance was brief. Either way you can decide how to take it. As pure fun, an epic spectacle of man battling gods and monsters. Or if you're feeling more critical and looking for something to engage you, you'll probably see it more as Greek mythology aimed at an increasingly attention deficient audience.
Special note: the only bonus feature on the DVD is deleted scenes

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3.0 out of 5 stars Release the Kraken!
Mythology has always interested me even at a young age, the stories of mythical gods and creatures where and still are fascinating to me, Medusa, Pegasus, the Kraken and more. Read more

Published 17 months ago by Tommy Morais

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent modern remake
I love this Greek Mythology movie because even the original is as excellent as this modern remake. I never get enough of this movie becuase I love to see this on Blu-Ray.

Published 20 months ago by Kevin Barton

3.0 out of 5 stars Titans
Product was received promptly and played as anticipated.
An interestuing update of the original movie which I watched often

Published 21 months ago by Christopher R. Carlisle

5.0 out of 5 stars worth it
a good movie

worth the buy

more craken would have been nice

Published 21 months ago by Harrison Banks

4.0 out of 5 stars Low expectations=a good time
I was 11 years old when I saw the original Clash of the Titans. As an 11 year old, I liked the movie, and thought the effects sucked. I'm 40 now and alot more cynical. Read more

Published 22 months ago by Almostgoth

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't expect too much and you'll be satisfied
It amazes me how reviewers can take the time to write a review on a movie and rate it 1 star (or ZERO stars), and yet mention that they have seen the 3D theatrical version, have... Read more

Published 22 months ago by Herbalizer

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