Clash of Empires [Blu-ray]

First off, I have seen and heard a few people criticize "Clash of Empires" for its historical inaccuracies and its anachronistic language. While both are valid points, I don't think anyone is approaching this slight adventure for groundbreaking realism. This plays very much like an old-fashioned Saturday morning serial with amateur theatrics, modern sensibilities, magic and mysticism, chaste romance, and overwrought fighting mayhem. The movie really misses the mark by branding itself with an R rating, because it truly feels like a kiddie flick. Why the harsh rating? CGI blood. It is silly and cheesy with few ambitions beyond being silly and cheesy. And yet, even on scaling back my expectations and realizing the true intent behind the narrative--I still didn't particularly think it was successful. I suppose if you can switch off your thinking cap, there are some small pleasures to be had here--I giggled once or twice at the sheer inanity. But if you're looking for a solid adult action entertainment, something with a bit more resonance, there are far better choices available.

I'm not going to spend too much time on the plot, but I will opine that the movie's title is a bit of a misnomer. There are really no empires clashing here, quite the contrary. A Roman prince is betrothed to a Chinese princess for political reasons and their wedding is to take place in Malaysia. Along the way to the nuptials, the Romans pick up a prisoner (who happens to be of royal descent, naturally) to assist them as a guide and everyone chats it up like they were good old friends with no cultural, social, economic, or language barriers of consequence. On arriving at their destination, both camps (Chinese and Roman) are besieged by the native warlord (with powers of sorcery) and the princess is captured. Next up? A rescue plan of derring-do. A mighty battle is waged--partly comical, partly bloody and everyone is surprisingly adept at intricate and special effects enhanced martial arts fighting. Do you suppose a happy end is in sight?

Let's be honest, the only thing of interest to many who will view this movie is the action sequences. Are they noteworthy? I'd say to an extent--but again, there are better example of this kind of film in the movie marketplace. Certain simple things (like zip lining) are hokey and fake, certain CGI (like rapidly healing wounds) are obvious and not particularly well done. But, to my mind, a fatal miscalculation in the action mayhem is that the scenes are sped up to unnatural proportions. I was more than willing to discount everything and just enjoy the orchestrations of the battle sequences. But the fast playback removed any authenticity to the proceedings and made everything appear fake. So the movie's primary selling point just didn't work for me--and that's a pretty big issue. Again, serious action addicts might be disappointed by the frivolous tone here. Perhaps this will be enjoyable for the kids, but it didn't make much of a mark with me (and I was ready to accept it on its own cheesy terms). KGHarris, 8/11.

This is not a good film, however I am going to try to be objective. It is based on The Malay Chronicles from the 16th Century, which are pretty much myth and if you approach this as a sort of swords and sandals `Sinbad' then from certain viewer's points of view this may have some merit.

It supposedly tells the story of the uniting of the Han Chinese Empire and the Roman Empire of Hadrian, a Roman `Prince' is sent to marry a Chinese `Princess' and they are to meet in Malaysia via Goa, where the hapless Romans have to enlist the aid of a sea rover (Merong Mahawangsa) who claims to be descended from Alexander the Great. Once they get to this place of the `joining of empires' (a beach with a few bits of bamboo) where this ceremony is to take place, things go wrong.

If you have stuck with it thus far there is then a big fight, which is basically what this movie is selling itself as, a fight fest. I don't want to spoil the `plot' but needless to say after many, many plot holes there is some more fight scenes. I watched this with my nephew and one of his friends and they thought it was `awesome' etc. I begged to differ citing the historical, factual, material and language inaccuracies, all to no avail. That I think is the point, if you are prepared to suspend belief and forget even basic historical knowledge, then there is an average fight fest type of film trying to get out. The cover does mention the special effects as `stunning' well to have believed that you probably would needed to have been `stunned' possibly with a taser.

Also there really is not a `clash of empires'; more like a fight over some rock in the Pacific Ocean, so pretty much setting itself up for a fall straight away. It was to be called `The Malay Chronicles' which would have been more honest, but we all know that war sells. Also the sleeve claims that Alexander the great was `a renowned naval captain and traveller...' There was me thinking he was a sort of Emporer, General and looked like Colin Farrel, glad they put me straight.

The CGI is quite good in places, but the speeded up action scenes are a missed opportunity, the acting is wooden to faux melodrama and the sets are a bit `make do and mend'. The de rigueur man on man combat does go on interminably; I am always amazed that in a battle where everyone is `tooled up' that the two main protagonists decide to go for a bit of martial arts fisty cuffs, just stab him already. At 107 minutes this did seem like a chore, but it does have an audience, I just think with a 15 rating (in the UK) and an 'R' in the US they have accidentally excluded most of them.

This is another pseudo-history that have become very popular with the movie goers. The exception is this is not really a pseudo-history, but a story based upon one iota of fact. WARNING: May contain plot spoilers.

Rome and China decide to come together with a wedding of a Roman prince and Chinese princess. They are going to do this on neutral ground in Malaysia (The movie was a big hit there.) The Roman fleet carrying the prince gets damaged and loses its gold ships. They limp into India and attempt to get more vessels, but without the gold, the crafty Indian (They make him talk like a convenience store owner) won't budge.

They end up hiring a warrior/slave (Stephen Rahman Hughes as Merong ), who descends from Alexander to take them in his small junque. The prince (Gavin Stenhouse as Marcus Carpenius ) is concerned that the princess may not love him. We get that answer in the next scene as we see the Chinese princess (Jing Lusi as Princess Meng Li Hua ) is bathing, complaining to her attendant she does not want to marry a barbarian. The movie shows the contempt Eastern civilization had for the west as they were "barbarians", "fur and gold wearers" and "boy lovers."

Rome is not at home in Malaysia. Clearly they are not in charge and are at the mercy of their host. Speaking of which, once the princess saw the Roman she opts to flee with her attendant Ying Ying (Nell Ng).

Marcus is also very adept in various Chinese fighting techniques.

There is sorcery by those that pray to the "old gods." There is a prophecy that Merong keeps remembering, one that his mother always spoke to him. Don't worry, if you missed it the first few times, you get to see it again.

When Merong is with his own people he speaks a foreign language with subtitles. When the Chinese are together, they opt for English, the same that the Romans speak. The princess mentions she also speaks Latin and does so, apparently not what the Romans speak. Ouch! Like so many of these pseudo-histories, the language is modern including slang, ideas and terms that are clearly anachronistic.

The movie dialouge and action is written for the younger audience, one prohibited from seeing this with the "R" rating. There is no nudity (naked silhouette). There is no foul language, Oh they do say "pee." The princess is apparently groped in one scene, but all we see is her face. There is a lot of fighting and killing with dead bodies, but not much in blood and gore.