Seduction Cinema's heyday. There's a phrase that'll make you do a double-take. It's referred to on the audio commentary on this rather lame offering. `Cloak and Shag Her' was filmed in 2002 (during the studio's prolific production period for sexy spoofs) and is finally seeing the light of day more than half a decade later. Some will no doubt say that it should have stayed cloaked forever.
The good news is that Seduction regulars Julian Wells, AJ Khan, Darian Caine, Ruby LaRocca, and semi-regular, CJ DiMarsico all feature here, but Ruby is scandalously underemployed, only appearing at the film's beginning and end. All five of these ladies are seen during the film's groovy opening title sequence as they dance to a retro guitar-based sound against a psychedelic lava-lamp backdrop. This is possibly the best part of the film with Julian and AJ getting into the swing of things while the others all look slightly out of whack. The bad news is that this film is supposed to be a sexy comedy and it fails in both respects. Parodying a parody is perhaps not a good idea. The Austin Powers movies get the treatment here.
For the goodies, Julian Wells plays April Flowers with Dean Paul as her faithful assistant, Basil Shagalittle, Ruby LaRocca is wasted in her role as April's groupie. The baddies are Darian Caine as Dr. Mean; AJ Khan as the inappropriately named Nurse Notsonice; CJ DiMarsico as Dr. Mean's clone, Bitters; Shane Annigans (I'm not making this up) plays Dr. Mean's very large henchman, Sid the Mangler. For those of you who are familiar with Seduction's sexy spoofs, you'll be disappointed to learn that Kimbo the gorilla makes another appearance here, on Dr. Mean's team. He's been renamed for this role as Kung Pow. Why the filmmakers find a man in a gorilla costume endlessly amusing, I can't imagine.
As for the plot, Dr. Mean plans world domination by the mass use of a love potion. Obviously, the most important thing is seeing our five female stars in various states of undress, frolicking with each other. And, to be fair, that's what we get - up to a point, anyway. "The sex scenes are pretty tame in this movie," says producer, Michael Raso, on the audio commentary. William Hellfire (the film's writer and director) replies that this was deliberate because they were going for comedic effect and they were hoping it may get shown on television (The Desperate Channel, presumably). Indeed, the sex scenes are not only tame, they're also unimaginative. Just when things look like they're getting interesting, we cut to a `comedy moment' with that dratted gorilla or one of the less appealing (ie, male) cast members.
Julian Wells is surely the Meryl Streep of the sex film with her endless array of accents. Julian's is slightly out of kilter here, though. Her English accent has a definite antipodean twang. However, she looks fabulous throughout either naked or in scanty retro attire. She plays April Flowers with such over emphasis that she's doing little more than going through the motions, well aware that this material is ultra thin. An actress with less experience may well have faired badly with such dross.
Of the other actresses, AJ Khan is, as always, stunningly beautiful. Darian Caine is not really at ease in this movie, largely, I suspect, because she's as baffled as the audience as to what's supposed to be happening. The same can be said of CJ DiMarsico. Ruby Larocca, as I've already mentioned, is sidelined and wasted here.
The audio commentary is interesting in places. Hellfire gives us updates regarding what's happened to some of the performers while Raso talks yet again about why it takes so long for some of Seduction's movies to be released: I think this is the third commentary I've heard him talking on this subject, and I'm still none the wiser. Unfortunately, the commentary descends into self-indulgence toward the end when Hellfire's musical exploits are discussed at length. A topic that fans (well this fan, at least) would be more interested in hearing about, Hellfire's Torture in Satan's Clinic and that film's troublesome full title, is mentioned at the very end of the commentary for about two seconds.
`Cloak and Shag Her' is unlikely to be of interest to anyone except Seduction Cinema's most stalwart fans. It is better than the abysmal The Girl Who Shagged Me (Unrated Edition), but for retro sex comedies from Seduction, I'd favor That 70's Girl and Les Chic 2-DVD Collection (the latter is also directed by William Hellfire). Better spoof movies are Spiderbabe and Gladiator Eroticus.