Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, and Playing It by Heart.
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About the Author
Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children and freelance author and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs."There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back.Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.
From AudioFile
Codependency is an important aspect of the interpersonal dynamic among people with addictive disorders. Codependent people find themselves obsessed in often futile ways with controlling someone who repeatedly makes trouble for him- or herself or others. Few people understand this idea as well as Melody Beattie, an author recovering successfully from a variety of addictive disorders and entanglements. In this popular work, she combines real-life stories with lucid explanations of the concepts that define every part of the codependent syndrome. Delivered by the incomparable Gabrielle de Cuir, the program paints a coherent, enlightening picture and offers many constructive ideas for people stuck in a codependent pattern. T.W. © AudioFile 2004, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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My first encounter with codependents occurred in the early sixties. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse.
Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the negative "cult" comments come from. But I do know that I am halfway through this book and I am very impressed. I'm not from an abusive, alcoholic, or otherwise chemically shattered family. I have good parents and I had a good childhood. Just the same, even good parents and a good childhood are no guarantee against developing unhealthy relationship habits, as well as damaging internal emotional processes.
If you're like me, you shy away from "self help" literature because it all seems way too touchy-feely. I don't see myself as a victim, and I refuse to adopt the victim mentality. But nobody gives parents a rule book on setting healthy emotional boundaries with their kids, and kids that grow up in a home without healthy emotional boundaries become adults without healthy emotional boundaries. This can really get you into trouble when you start trying to form a family of your own, and is the reason why I sought out this book with urgency.
Does it seem like your hapiness is too connected to how other people live their lives? Do you get really upset and depressed because those whom you love engage in behavior you see as risky or damaging? Feel powerless to stop your loved one from using or abusing mind altering substances? Tired of always feeling like "the bad guy" when you're just trying to get your partner to "be good"? Has your own social circle dwindled or vanished, so that now only your partner and his/her friends are 'your' social group? Would you like to know why it's so hard to get out of bed every morning, and why you spend so much time worrying about that certain person in your life, while worrying too little about yourself?
Codependency is not a catch-all problem, nor is it remedied over night. But I'd dare say that at least half or more of American adults--indeed adults across the entire world--struggle with some form of codependent behavior. And if you want a deeper insight into this problem, what it is, what it is not, and how it messes with your life, then read this book, and gain strength from understanding.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I first came across this book as a recommendation (from a psychologist, no less) as to how to deal with an abusive relationship I was involved in. Like some of the other reviewers, it was painful at first to see myself described in the book. But it helped me to understand why I was attracted to addictive personalities, what attracted them to me, and how to eventually break the cycle. I certainly won't say that all of your problems will be solved with this book, but it is a step in the right direction. It certainly worked for me.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
If you have codependency issues, this is the bible for codependency issues. Start reading and start caring for yourself and stop letting others manipulate you. Learn to let go.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
hi
This site asks for to many words. Its just a book. why rate it. Everyone see something diferent. Well enjoy, its worth the read
Published 3 months ago by M. Aldred
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hoe To Finally BE YOU!!
This book has given me a totally different outlook on my life. It has allowef me to see how controlled I was by factors that left "ME" a shell of a woman, even though I... Read more
Published 4 months ago by judy kennedy
5.0 out of 5 stars
Creating your own happiness
This book was so wonderful! I've had trouble my whole life identifying where my unhappiness is rooted. Thank you for this book and for helping me to create my own happiness!
Published 6 months ago by skehler
5.0 out of 5 stars
Older and Wiser
I first bought this book in the 1990s. I had a lot going on in my life at that time, and was desperately buying any books I thought would help me. Read more
Published 15 months ago by bermondsey girl
5.0 out of 5 stars
A classic that hasn't gone out of date
There's a reason this book is a classic. The principles in it are timeless, sane, and really work. I keep going over it again and again to really "get it" and refer back to it... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Susanna M. Celso
5.0 out of 5 stars
Oldie but a Goldie
I first read this book when it came out in the late 80's. I knew I needed to review the material, because I was ready to grow a little more. Peel another layer off of the onion. Read more
Published on Oct 14 2010 by editor
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Real McCoy
This is the one that started it all and changed the way we communicate, act and treat co-dependent relationships. Read more
Published on Jun 26 2004 by M. Alther
5.0 out of 5 stars
Beattie is a Recovery Beauty!!
This author is one of the most honest, insightful, and thoughtful writers in the world of recovery. I own a copy of each of her books. Read more
Published on Jun 4 2004 by Christiana Washington
5.0 out of 5 stars
Read it, it will definitely help you!
For many years, I was in a completely codependent relationship and did not know how to break out of it. Then I figure a way out on my own. At least I thought I did... Read more
Published on Jan 29 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars
What a book!
A friend gave this book to me many years ago and I never read it until just recently. I feel like I have been blown out of the water since reading this book. Read more
Published on Aug 29 2003
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