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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
 
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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself [Paperback]

Melody Beattie (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (82 customer reviews)
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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself + The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series + Codependent No More Workbook
Price For All Three: CDN$ 40.43

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  • The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series by Melody Beattie Paperback CDN$ 14.43

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Product Description

Book Description

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, and Playing It by Heart.

About the Author

Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children and freelance author and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs."There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back.Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.
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Customer Reviews

82 Reviews
5 star:
 (69)
4 star:
 (8)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:
 (2)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.7 out of 5 stars (82 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Are you a former child? Yes? Then read this book!, Dec 20 2002
By 
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse.

Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the negative "cult" comments come from. But I do know that I am halfway through this book and I am very impressed. I'm not from an abusive, alcoholic, or otherwise chemically shattered family. I have good parents and I had a good childhood. Just the same, even good parents and a good childhood are no guarantee against developing unhealthy relationship habits, as well as damaging internal emotional processes.

If you're like me, you shy away from "self help" literature because it all seems way too touchy-feely. I don't see myself as a victim, and I refuse to adopt the victim mentality. But nobody gives parents a rule book on setting healthy emotional boundaries with their kids, and kids that grow up in a home without healthy emotional boundaries become adults without healthy emotional boundaries. This can really get you into trouble when you start trying to form a family of your own, and is the reason why I sought out this book with urgency.

Does it seem like your hapiness is too connected to how other people live their lives? Do you get really upset and depressed because those whom you love engage in behavior you see as risky or damaging? Feel powerless to stop your loved one from using or abusing mind altering substances? Tired of always feeling like "the bad guy" when you're just trying to get your partner to "be good"? Has your own social circle dwindled or vanished, so that now only your partner and his/her friends are 'your' social group? Would you like to know why it's so hard to get out of bed every morning, and why you spend so much time worrying about that certain person in your life, while worrying too little about yourself?

Codependency is not a catch-all problem, nor is it remedied over night. But I'd dare say that at least half or more of American adults--indeed adults across the entire world--struggle with some form of codependent behavior. And if you want a deeper insight into this problem, what it is, what it is not, and how it messes with your life, then read this book, and gain strength from understanding.

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5.0 out of 5 stars Older and Wiser, Feb 2 2012
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
I first bought this book in the 1990s. I had a lot going on in my life at that time, and was desperately buying any books I thought would help me. It helped me at that time to give me the tools I needed to look after myself. I found a copy recently in my local library and it was as if I hadn't ever seen it before. I guess I'm just that bit older now and was amazed at how this book 'spoke' to me even at this later date. I'm not dealing with an alcoholic husband now, but I still recognize and relate to co-dependent signs such as people pleasing etc., that don't serve me in my life now. I sent for my own copy from Amazon and am enjoying it.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Definitely Worth a Read, May 16 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
I first came across this book as a recommendation (from a psychologist, no less) as to how to deal with an abusive relationship I was involved in. Like some of the other reviewers, it was painful at first to see myself described in the book. But it helped me to understand why I was attracted to addictive personalities, what attracted them to me, and how to eventually break the cycle. I certainly won't say that all of your problems will be solved with this book, but it is a step in the right direction. It certainly worked for me.
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