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Commitment [Hardcover]

Dan Savage
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
Price: CDN$ 35.00 & FREE Shipping. Details
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Book Description

Sept. 27 2005

The true story of a marriage (not really), a lovable and relentless mother, a six-year old who says his parents cannot get married (but wants to go to the reception), a partner who doesn't want to act like a straight person, and the author, who has written a hilarious and poignant memoir about making "The Commitment."

There is no hotter issue than gay marriage in the culture-war debate, and Dan Savage, one of America's most outspoken and beloved columnists, takes it on and makes it personal in this rollicking memoir of coming to terms with the very public act of marriage. What he discovers will make readers—gay or straight, right or left, single or married—howl with laughter as well as rethink their notions of marriage and all that it entails.


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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. The author of the internationally syndicated column "Savage Love" brings much-needed humor, and a reality check, to the bitter gay-marriage debate with this polemical memoir. As Savage (Skipping Towards Gomorrah) and his boyfriend, Terry, neared their 10th anniversary, Savage's mother put on the pressure for them to get married. But, Savage notes, there were several other points to consider before deciding to tie the knot: among them, the fact that marriage doesn't provide legal protection in Washington State; Terry prefers tattoos as a sign of commitment; and their six-year-old son declared that only men and women can get married. Furthermore, Savage himself worried that the relationship would be jinxed by anything more permanent than a big anniversary bash, though the one they plan quickly assumes the proportions and price of a wedding reception. While documenting the couple's wobble toward a decision, Savage skewers ideologues, both pro– and anti–gay marriage, with his radical pragmatism. Disproving Tolstoy's dictum that "happy families are all alike," he takes a sharp-eyed, compassionate look at matrimony as it is actually practiced by friends, his raucously affectionate family and even medieval Christians. When he explains to his son what marriage is really about, you want to stand up and cheer, and the surprise ending is both hilarious and a tear-jerker. As funny as David Sedaris's essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking, this timely book shows that being pro-family doesn't have to mean being anti-gay. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“Hilarious, heartfelt.” —Seattle Post-Intelligencer



“As funny as David Sedaris’s essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking.” —Publisher’s Weekly (starred review)



“Most of all, a book about creating and appreciating family.” —Seattle Times



“I think America would be a better place if everyone on every side of the gay marriage debate would read this book.” —Ira Glass, host of the public radio show This American Life



“The strongest argument here, which [Savage] brilliantly plays down, is that family means everything to these people: married, not married, blended, gay, straight, whatever.” —The Washington Post

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Very moving. funny too Jan. 23 2014
By PC
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a story of two men who met by chance fell in love then built a life together.
Along the way they adopted and raised a son and then fought for and helped win the right to marry.
great story told with wit and humor.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.6 out of 5 stars  67 reviews
74 of 76 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wake-Up Call Sept. 30 2005
By Jason A. Miller - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Dan Savage's new book examines the notion of gay marriage and whether or not it's a good thing -- not just for the USA, that is, but also for Dan Savage himself and his partner of 10 years, Terry.

Part introspective memoir, and part tirade against dinosaur-minded virtuecrats currently behind the wheel in Washington D.C., "The Commitment" is at all times an energetic wake-up call questioning just what it is that drove eleven (mostly) red states to pass "anti-gay marriage" Constitutional amendments last November. Savage is strongly in favor of gay marriage in general, while not sure whether he himself wants to marry. This give the book the dimensions it needs to succeed.

The best chapters are "Blue", in which Savage looks at the current political state of this country, while casting a hopeful eye at nearby Canada; and "Two Moments of Transcendent Bliss". Followers of Savage will know that he and Terry jointly adopted a son who is now a skateboarding metalhead 6 year-old. In this latter chapter, Savage has to explain to his son what it is to be gay, and what it is to be married. If you can't make it through that chapter without being swayed by the pro-marriage argument, then none of the rest of this book is going to work for you.

I'll admit that while I'm something of a left-winger, my views have never swayed as far to the left as the death-to-Israel politics of NYC's alternative weekly "The Village Voice", where I first discovered the "Savage Love" column. I also had no strong opinion on gay marriage until last year, when I took sides during the run-up to the Presidential election. By the end of "The Commitment", I did have to question why I remained undecided on the issue for so long.

Savage's writing is 100% partisan and 100% persuasive, and he is most certainly not one of (to quote another recent partisan screed) one of the 100 people ruining America.
35 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For Any With An Opinion On Gay Marriage Oct. 4 2005
By Brett Benner - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
How do I effectively convey my feelings after reading this book? First off I am so glad it's been written. So glad that there is something that can be put into other people's hands that examines this ridiculous opposition to gay marriage with a sense of humor, heart, and a little thing called facts. (Something the Christian right likes to forget about in their pursuit of oh so compassionate discrimination.) What I love about the book is he doesn't moralize, and tell anyone what they should do, instead it's simply the journey that he and his boyfriend Terry go through. That process manages to create a myriad of viewpoints that structures much of the book's backbone, from his pressuring Mother, to his brother adopting a somewhat "gay lifestyle" in regards to co-habitating with his girlfriend, and their somewhat open relationship.
My son is two and it can be incredibly frustrating and sad listening to these Bible Thumping Red State Imbeciles spouting just plain lies in the name of Jesus to create a political victory. Luckily this book was a reminder that regardless of what careless and nasty things have been said or will continue to be said about gays and their rights to marriage and children, love is ultimately what makes a family. Love makes a commitment, and sometimes that's loud enough to drown out all the other white noise.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The last couple chapters are the best, and it's pretty fun getting there too. Nov. 19 2005
By grrlpup - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Dan Savage is by far at his best and funniest when he sticks to memoir, reporting on the squabbles and crises of his daily life. That's why this book is much better than the last one, "Skipping Towards Gomorrah," which tended to veer into ranting and contrivances, but not quite as good as "The Kid," which had a little more meat to its story.

Here, the back-stories of his relatives and their marriages or lack of them are moderately interesting. There are a few anti-religious-right rants that go on too long, but only a few. It's the conversations between Dan and his boyfriend and their son, in all their crankiness and irrationality, that make this book stand out. It really comes into its own in the last couple of chapters, which had me laughing out loud.

It's great to read a book by someone who cares deeply about gay rights, yet can make fun of the part of himself that wants to get married in order to make people take his "Big Gay Love" seriously. He's confident enough to be honest, and that makes his book fresh and entertaining.
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Another winner from the Savage. Sept. 28 2005
By I. Sondel - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
In April 2001 the book group I belong to read Savage's "The Kid (What Happened After my Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant): An Adoption Story," and we haven't shut up about it since. Thus, I was really jazzed to read this new book about the pressures being brought to bear on Savage and his longtime companion Terry to tie-the-knot. He has an uncanny ability to communicate all of the various emotions that he and Terry experience as they go through the process of deciding if marriage is right for them, as well as those of their six year-old son and Savage's surprisingly supportive Catholic mother.

Savage is, above all, a very talented, very funny writer. Known for his blistering attacks on the Radical Right, this book features a generous amount of acerbic comments and oberservations. The majority of Savage's vitriol is reserved for the absurd rationales the Right uses to bully and marginalize gays and lesbians and our relationships. He calls attention to the hypocrisy of people such as Rush Limbaugh, who has been married four times, yet has the unmitigated temerity to claim that gays are incapable of monogamous, long-term relationships.

Just as he did in "The Kid," Savage has managed to put a very human face on these very real, very gay people. He has created a book with a genuine universal appeal that manages to perfectly illustrate why same-sex couples deserve equal status under the law. A whole slew of books on this topic have been published in recnt years, and though the only one I've read is Andrew Sullivan's "Same-Sex Marriage Pro & Con: A Reader," I can't imagine that any of the others are as personal, poignant, hilarious or accessible as this book.
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Loved the book, but the audiobook ruined it for me. Aug. 22 2011
By Jay3fer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Audio CD
Please don't "unhelpful" this review before you read it! I'm a serious Dan Savage fan; a longtime reader and listener. This review is for the AUDIOBOOK version of "The Commitment" only.
First, I've already read the book and liked it. Then, I checked out the audiobook from my library, out of curiousity, and it very nearly ruined the book for me altogether.
Dan Savage has a distinctive voice and I enjoy listening to him. It's gentle and soft, but coarse and tough in funny, ironic, wry and unexpected ways.
On the other hand, reader Paul Michael Garcia sounds nothing like Savage and - sorry - comes across sounding just like a boring old stereotype. I'm not saying he's gay but he sure SOUNDS the way a sitcom would cast a typical gay guy, and the words "my boyfriend" just don't sound the same coming out of his mouth as they do from Savage's.
I gave this a good long listen, hoping the voice would grow on me, but it just grew more and more cloying, like some weird kind of identity theft, as this reader tried to relate to the often-bizarre events of Savage's life (his boyfriend's dog's accident, surgery, and later handicaps, for example).
I listen to a lot of audiobooks, and the readers are usually excellent and well-matched with their material. In this case, however, I found the combination utterly woeful and ultimately, unlistenable.
I suppose Savage had to give his approval to this book at some point, but I'm not sure how when it sounds just like an imposter has appropriated his words. Sorry, but I just didn't like it.
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