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From Publishers Weekly
While feminism may have changed boardrooms, it didn't make much headway in bedrooms, argues philosopher/writer hooks. Women have made progress in regard to social empowerment, but the quest for emotional density for love has remained elusive. Why are men still so emotionally unsatisfying? Because, hooks argues, "patriarchal thinking has socialized males to believe that their manhood is affirmed when they are emotionally withholding." Patriarchy valorizes power and assigns it to men, and devalues nurturing and labels it feminine. Thus, young postfeminist women find themselves with "nothing to show" from their newly won equality but a double shift of work: first the paid job, then the physical and emotional homework of their relationship with their man. Still, as feminists of hooks's generation reach midlife, they may find it easier to rethink these terms of engagement, to risk changing things. The first step, she says, is self-love accepting one's body and soul just the way it is. Without such acceptance, women cannot escape the domination-submission dynamic. Even then, in this patriarchal universe finding love with another person may require some creativity. Hooks explores romantic friendships, lesbian loves and "circles of love" (which allow for committed bonds that extend beyond one partnership). A life with no coupling, but "a more authentic relationship between self and world," may also be satisfying. Twenty-something women who've embraced the highly problematic "bitch persona" Elizabeth Wurtzel has written of may sneer at hooks's affirming style, but older women, particularly those raising girls themselves, will find much to ponder here. (Feb. 1)Forecast: This should satisfy those looking for an alternative Valentine's Day gift for the leftist/feminist woman in their life.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.From Library Journal
It's not true that you can love too much, social critic hooks warns women. Just let yourself go.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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VERY day I talk to women about love and aging. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
VERY day I talk to women about love and aging. Read the first page
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Most helpful customer reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars
Tries to go the distance,
By Dame N. Motion (Berkeley, CA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Communion: The Female Search for Love (Hardcover)
This book, I attempted to approach with feelings of wanting answers and wanting to feel safe and secure in our often harsh, demanding, and very male world. Unfortunately, I was unable to achieve those feelings of inner peace and turmoil dominated. I was hoping for an Oprah meets Holly Near meets Dame Edma book that was refreshing, and would allow me to blossom inside. Many of the passages make some sense, but the boardroom chapter may alienate some sisters due to the fact that most of us are struggling at jobs which are mundane and tedious. It is so easy for men though, all they have to do is look around and they get what they want. I am still looking for love and am tired of nights in the bubble bath, reading silly romance stories which reflect our harsh patriarchial society. I am searching for a book with the answers the way some people claim to search for soulmates. I am tired of the tv shows with loving couples and my cat which I am alergic to that scares all the men I know away. I want a book that I can relate to...one that works on my own terms...one that speaks to me and the women like me. Tell me if you find it
3.0 out of 5 stars
Definitely 3rd in the Love Trilogy,
By Bee Marie (Chicago, Illinois United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Communion: The Female Search for Love (Paperback)
bell hooks blew me away with All About Love and Salvation. Communion, however, left me wanting more. Although it was written in the typical bell hooks fashion -- I love her writing style, Communion didn't have the same passion, spirit and overall power that the previous two books had. I did like the way she weaved her own self into the topic. By doing so, she makes the reader feel closer to her and helps them relate better to their own search for love.
3.0 out of 5 stars
Love from a feminist perspective,
By BigHeart (Center Harbor, NH United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Communion: The Female Search for Love (Paperback)
Communion is a discussion and legitimization of the pursuit of love from a mid-life feminist perspective. Hooks believes that the desire to understand how love works is a serious, important, and ultimately joyful life-work activity that should be studied and taught. The big question she attempts to answer is how to "find, keep, and make love despite the power of patriarchy."The best part of this book is that Hooks always tells the truth as she sees it. There is no glossing over or contriving to make a point. Sometimes her language is sexually explicit and blunt. She explains love from the perspective of her own personal life experience and through intelligent observation and study of our culture and gender practices. The impact of the feminist movement is woven through her assessment. Unlike many other feminists, however, Hook's voice is not militant. There is only one caution. The ever-present temptation for Hooks and for all of us is to find excuses why we cannot find love or be loving. From the ego's perspective, there is always a so-called justifiable reason for the rejection of another. In this case, the justifiable reason is patriarchy. However, unconditional love means that we undo the hate inour minds and extend love no matter what distressing disguise is presented to us.
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