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Conan The Gladiator [Mass Market Paperback]

Leonard Carpenter
2.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Jan 15 1995 Tor Fantasy (Book 35)
When Conan puts Roganthus the Strongman out of commission in a street brawl he soon finds himself drawn in by the slender Sathilda and her pet panther as part of a travelling troupe. What starts as an innocent pastime turns into a deadly game when the circus is called to the Arena of the Stygian capital of Luxor. There they are forced to fight for their lives against exotic warriors and all manner of wild beasts. no one has yet survived the whims of the tyrannical Emperor Commodorus.

And then there are the foul sorceries of the black-robed priests of the snake-god Set...

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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1
 
Night-Cats
 
 
The public-house at Thujara was no gilded palace. Its walls of sun-baked mud were thick enough to stand before the harsh winds of the Shemitish plain, turn aside leopards, and blunt the spears and arrows of roving bandits. It had a tile roof tight enough to keep out winter sleet and summer dust-storms. Its doors and shutters were secure against sneak thieves--those, at least, who had not been locked inside for the night.
The inn's kitchen had sheep stew, coarse bread, and raw wines and ciders that were no more sickly or sour than the pressings of other rural districts. The place was, in all, very little different from a hundred other inns Conan had squatted in during his travels. It was cozy enough, and he thanked Crom he had coppers enough to afford its shelter for a few more nights.
Hulking over the long plank table that served as a counter, he took careful stock of the local women. A hardy lot, these Shemitish maids--thick and supple in the haunch and breast, sharp-eyed and sharper-tongued, with ill-kempt hair that hung down in charcoal or reddish curls.
Ellilia, now, the kitchen-keeper, made a healthy armful…as did Sudith, the innkeep's pouting daughter, a wild crocus blooming along a barnyard fence. Alas, most of these country wenches were discouragingly homey and settled. And unimaginative, far too ready to fend off an innocent question with the swipe of a roasting-fork or a splash of scalding soup.
The two current exceptions sat on the bench at either side of Conan, flirting gaily with the handsome Cimmerian. One of them, Tarla, was no real contender: a thin slip of a girl, barely approaching the estate of womanhood. She enjoyed playing at feminine wiles without fully knowing what they meant; to her, the outlander's thick-muscled bare chest, his square black mane, and his foreign-looking blue eyes signified only status and prestige, a handsome trophy in the flirting game. Yet Conan tolerated her brash experimentation; he bantered with her as half a child and half a maiden, without making demands on her.
The other female was Gruthelda, the stablemaid. She had all too clear an idea of the relationship between the sexes, likely gained from watching the antics of the horses and asses under her care. To her credit, she had the braying laugh and the good strong teeth of a well-fed mule; less fortunately, there was something in the roll of her eye and the stumble of her speech that made Conan believe she must have been kicked by one. Sitting with Gruthelda was lively exercise; the lass would make some stockhand a sportive mate.
He had just been letting the girls share his trencher of spiced oat gruel when there came a stirring from outside the inn--a chorus of voices and the skirling of some high-pitched instrument. It was not yet dusk, and the oaken door was not bolted; instead it swung open to admit a string of newcomers--mountebanks of some kind, three in number. They marched in and issued a grand proclamation, singing in turn as they made a prancing circuit of the tavern.
"For your delight and idle delectation," one said.
"Be you of noble rank or common station," the next proclaimed, to a riotous fluting.
* * *
"We hail you to our sumptuous display,
A Circus offered here on market day!
Rare feats of prowess, strength, and wizardry,
Strange fearsome beasts, and maidens fair to see,
All will disport at Festival tomorrow.
Come be amazed, nor shirk us at your sorrow!"
* * *
The first in the line was a broad muscular man, almost Conan's height and more than his girth. Bare-chested, he wore a brightly sequined kilt, rope sandals, and a wide leather belt with the brightly polished clasp of a contest champion. His face, framed by jet-black curls, bore full, sensuous features and a coarse lip that curled in an arrogant expression. As his march brought him toward the central table and toward Conan, his glance took in the Cimmerian's smoldering gaze and massive physique. Hackles rose almost visibly; then he strode on, scarcely acknowledging the implied challenge.
Conan, seeing the strongman and feeling natural skepticism and irritation at his overblown bearing, was nonetheless instantly distracted by the second marcher. This was a female, dressed in a tight sheer costume that both concealed and advertised the firm athletic flesh prisoned underneath. From neat slippers to bare shoulders, she was clad in fine silk, a sheer green fabric that seemed almost to have been sewn taut against her skin; only a narrow fringe of skirt hung about her hips as a flimsy pretense at modesty. The shiny cloth fitted with extra tightness over her breasts; these were ample but pressed flat, probably to prevent sway during violent acrobatic movements. Her brown hair, of unknown length, was tied back in a neat braid at her nape. Her hands and arms were hard and graceful, bare of any rings or bracelets that might interfere with her craft.
The sight of this female athlete, so different from the farm and village women of Thujara, gave rise to a new set of cravings in Conan's soul. He had known girl-warriors before; crack sailors, too, and dancers in the great cities. This was in truth his favorite type of woman, he realized…or at least, a welcome change. Suddenly forgetful of the two farm maids who fawned against him, he half rose from his bench and reached out a hand. He sought to detain the prancing performer and perhaps offer her refreshment or lively conversation.
"Paws off, you oversized lumpkin! Let the parade pass unmolested."
Drawing back his hand from a sharp rap on the knuckles, Conan turned to stare at the third member of the band, a squat, square-faced midget dressed in a gray baggy-sleeved cape and pointed black cap. Lashing out with a small man's quickness, he had struck Conan's hand with the end of a silver flute--which, until then, had tweeted in skillful crescendoes between alternate verses of the marching song. Moving briskly past, the musician regarded Conan with bright, alert eyes from a face that was square-featured and not unhandsome.
"Wait, fellow, that was most ill-mannered," Conan protested, standing up and endeavoring to pull free of his girlfriends. "I only meant to invite the lass to stop awhile and talk, or mayhap share a puncheon of ripe cider. I would compliment you all on your fair costumes and fine talents. Especially the lady, there--"
"Enough, woodsman!" A gruff baritone voice overrode his as the bemuscled leader stopped and turned. "We have business to attend to."
"True indeed," the lovely acrobat said, her kohl-dark eyes looking at Conan with unamused interest. "There is our march through this village to complete, and a whole great circus to be made ready in time for the market fair tomorrow--"
"Plenty indeed to occupy us," the muscleman finished for her, "instead of crowding in here to soak up warm, weak horse-trickle with an ill-mannered country lout." Wrinkling his nose at the aroma of the beaker in Conan's hand, he moved up opposite him and expanded his chest. Conan saw that, in part, he was only acting the character of the arrogant champion; but there was something heartfelt in it, too, something scornful and personal in his manner.
"And what if I bundle your thick carcass out of the way?" the Cimmerian challenged. "Will there be enough room then for the lady to sit down and share drink with her admirers?" He blinked past the oiled shoulder of the titan to the skeptical-looking woman. "For, if I can yet receive civil treatment from you and your friends here, I might then be inclined to follow along and help you with your night's chores back at your tenting-ground--"
"Enough of your impudent drivel!" the strongman barked. Barging forward, he gave the Cimmerian a flat-handed shove on the chest, causing him to lurch backward and slosh part of his drink onto Gruthelda's bosom. "Now, sit on that bench and be quiet, Outlander, before I knot your arms and legs around it to keep you there."
"So it comes to grapples, then." Handing his cup to Gruthelda while keeping his eyes on the big man, Conan drew several deep breaths and arched his body into a wrestler's crouch. Arms spread wide, he balanced on tiptoe, holding his weight high.
"What, a tavern skirmish?" his adversary crowed. "I, Roganthus the Strong, accept your challenge!"
The performer began to spread himself in an identical crouch to Conan's, but raised a flat palm in warning. "First rid yourself of that pig-bleeder there, lest you find yourself skewered by it in a fall." He pointed to the small dagger sheathed at Conan's belt--a mere paring-knife really, its blade scarcely exceeding a hand's-breadth.
"This? If you wish it."
Unlacing the sheathed weapon from his belt, Conan turned to his giggling, giddy seconds. He handed it to Tarla, whom he judged less likely than Gruthelda to use it in an excess of girlish excitement.
As he turned back to confront the strongman, he felt an iron hand clamp the side of his neck and bear down hard. His turning body fell into a blind, lurching half-step; he flailed his arm to clutch at his attacker and instantly felt it grasped and twisted in a wrestler's skillful hold. Propelled roughly across the floor, driven off balance into the side of the long inn table, he plunged over it and tumbled onto the hard dirt floor.
"A throw! Your kind attention, gentlefolk!" Dizzy, Conan heard the midget's gruff voice shouting. "The first fall out of three--unless, of course, there's a pin. Your bets, everyone! I, Bardolph, will guarantee them." The small man was now making the circuit of the place, collecting money and scribbling tallies on a wax tablet. "Remember, good friends, Roganthus is so far undefeated!"
Conan sprang to his feet and stalked angrily toward the strutting, posturing performer. "That was no honest grapple, you rogue!" he thundered. "This time you'll not catch me off guard!"
His complaint was echoed by yells, both derisive and supportive, from inn patrons who'd risen from their seats to form a ring of spectators. Newcomers jostled in through the door as w...

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Most helpful customer reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Russell Crowe...the Barbarian! Oct 4 2000
By A Customer
Format:Mass Market Paperback
Well,....what can I say. The book is pretty weak. The plot would've been better suited to the Conan cartoon series (remember it?),seriously folks. I honestly can't see Conan staying that long in a city being a gladiator, no less. Also, he strikes me as too intelligent throughout the book. For example, in the arena, he orders them to form a phalanx! He's a barbarian from Cimmeria! How's he gonna know what a phalanx is? I thought the priests of Set might be cool,too, but they were more like Renaissance scientists or something. I only read this book because I want to read all of the Conan books. The end battle was cool, but that's about it. This wasn't one of the better books.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Conan goes to the Circus Aug 31 1998
Format:Mass Market Paperback
If you leave out wars, battles, skirmishes, raids, self-defense and defending the weak and helpless, what need is there for sword fighting? Well, how about entertainment? That's right. In the Hyborian Age they didn't have Monday Night Football to watch. But what they did have was the next best thing -- Gladiators! Conan must be having a slow day (which resembles the starting pace of this book) when he decides to join a traveling circus troupe. Of course it's his code of honor dictating that, because he busted up the show's strongman, Conan should become the newest attraction. The troupe heads south to the newly renovated city of Luxur where they encounter one gladiatorial episode after another in the big Arena, trying to survive and hopefully, make a big enough profit to retire from show business. Would the Conan we all love and admire really stoop to killing for entertainment? The book is a decent read, and actually has some interesting character development but, nevertheless, is definitely NOT one of Carpenter's better efforts.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 2.1 out of 5 stars  11 reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Definitely Not Recommended Jun 20 2008
By Shoe - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I heartily agree with the other reviewers that this is the worst of the Tor series of Conan pastiches, of which I have read many. Leonard Carpenter seems to have read more DeCamp than Howard, and it shows. In point of fact, he dedicated this book to DeCamp.

In his works, Carpenter has always toned down Conan's superhuman strength, speed, and prowess. While it makes for a weak novel having an invincible hero, Conan as an everyman is also a step in the wrong direction. It is taken to such an extreme that Carpenter's Conan receives a drubbing from almost everyone he fights, and this book is no exception. One would think that a gladitorial arena would be the ideal showcase for Conan's savage talents, but in this book, poor Conan loses almost every battle he participates in. To add insult to injury, Conan becomes a pacifist later in the book, after fainting at the sight of a bloody wound, no less! In all fairness to Carpenter, Conan always had a code of honor and a distaste for needless killing, but for Conan to turn his back and walk away from a known enemy who literally pushes him around after threatening him? No way. The REH Conan might make one weak attempt at chivalry before crushing the offender's skull with a massive fist. Further travesties include Conan (who has grappled with giant apes and cave bears and could probably out wrestle Gilgamesh on his best day) being beaten by a wrestler; being unable to jump across a span that his female companion has just leapt across; and most glaringly, regularly being "dazed and exhausted" after running and climbing for just a few minutes. Yes, the same Conan who could climb almost before he could walk, and was able to run for days on end without rest.

In spite of all this, Carpenter has created some interesting supporting characters, and built up his plot with some degree of skill. In this case, as in his Conan The Hero, it all amounts to nothing in the end. Once again, Carpenter carefully builds tension, then throws it all away by having a deus ex machina of a catastrophe literally sweep everything away so the climactic battle just... never happens. It makes for a lazy and very unsatisfying finish.

As a final note to the reviewer who found Conan's use of a phalanx out of place, Conan served as a field commander for many armies over the years, and his knowledge of advanced military tactics was peerless, so the phalanx idea made perfect sense. It's interesting to note just how many elements of this 1988 book found their way almost verbatim into the movie Gladiator. Maybe John Logan liked this book more than we all did. :-)
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worst Conan novel ever! Seriously. Jan 25 2011
By Andrew B. Gordon - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I had high hopes for this book, the cover was cool and the idea of Conan competing as a gladiator ala the movie, seemed sound. However I can honestly say this is the absolute worst Conan I have ever read in twenty plus years. The biggest problem seems to be that Conan's brain has been replaced by that of a 19th century English gentleman. After he is slapped on the had by a circus dwarf, Conan exclaims "Wait, fellow, that was most ill-mannered...I only meant to invite the lass to stop awile and talk, or mayhap share a puncheon of ripe cider. I would compliment you all on your fair costumes and fine talents." Seriously he says that. It is as though Leonard Carpenter had never read an actual Conan book before pulling this out of his behind. That type of dialogue belongs in Regency Romances and Merchant Ivory films, not Conan. If you are a fan at all of Robert E. Howard I would strongly caution you against buying or reading this book.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worst Conan book I've ever read Jun 15 2010
By mapcase - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I'll try to be brief here, as you can read the other, better written reviews for more details and things from a more literary slant. For me, hands down, worst Conan book I've ever read, and besides all the Howard stories, I've read probably 25-30 books (John Maddox Roberts being my favorite so far). Basically, this book has a character "named" Conan in it, but doesn't act like the Conan we all know who's from Cimmeria. No revenge for repeated and severe wrong-doings done against him, just let's everything roll off his back. Yes, he's strong, and fairly smart when it comes to battle, but that's any number of heroes in fiction. All the things that make Conan "Conan" are missing from this story. It feels like Carpenter took an existing story he had and just changed the protagonist's name to "Conan" without bothering to update the character. Very disappointing, a total waste of money, and a stain on all the books that carry on Robert E. Howard's vision. Crom is not happy.
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