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Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood: The Good, The Bad, and the Scary [Hardcover]

Jill Smokler
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
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Book Description

April 3 2012
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV.

In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t.

If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?

When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.

I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier.

Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.

My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context.

But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.

I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.

 The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.

I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.

If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club.

I know why some animals eat their young.

In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.

Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store.

As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood?

STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS!

I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me.

I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business.

I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

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Review

“Get ready to ditch those Prada shoes (and anything else nice you own) and face reality--you haven't had a brutal boss until you've had a baby. Confessions of a Scary Mommy is hilariously, outrageously truthful about the hardest job I know. Put this book at the top of your diaper bag!”
—Lauren Weisberger, New York Times bestselling author of The Devil Wears Prada

“Jill offers up the perfect antidote to overly earnest parenting guides. It's like comfort food for anxious moms, served with a side of snark.”
—Cynthia Copeland, author of The Diaper Diaries and Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

“Jill has blown the lid off of what should and should not be said when discussing the experience of motherhood, using her sense of humor and the occasional “F-bomb” — and in doing so, Scary Mommy, has actually made motherhood a little bit less frightening… [Confessions of a Scary Mommy] dares to say the things most mothers have thought, but few have had the courage to admit.”
— ABCnews.com

"Smokler’s “scary mommy” version of motherhood makes no apologies, which is precisely why it succeeds ... If motherhood is starting to feel like a story without a plot, my advice is to pretend you’re sick and lock yourself in the bathroom with this book. Highly recommended."
—Library Journal

“Hilarious, brutal honesty about parenting.”
New York Times bestselling author Michael Ian Black

“Funny . . . speaks the truths about motherhood when other mothers aren’t willing to admit it.”
Parenting

“Any mother who doesn't stifle a million knowing laughs while reading Confessions of a Scary Mommy needs to make sure her funny bone wasn't accidentally sucked into the diaper genie.”
—Julie Klam, New York Times bestselling author of You Had Me at Woof


“It’s the same kind of honest, heartfelt wisdom that has lured thousands of readers to Smokler’s Scary Mommy blog and given untold numbers of parents the comforting knowledge that they’re not alone.”
Baltimore Magazine

“Confessions of a Scary Mommy is THE book you should be giving all moms-to-be and new mothers so they can get that notion of being “perfect” out of their mommy brains as soon as possible. Jill’s book is a collection of the best confessions from her site, as well as some personal stories about becoming a mom and some of her own challenges and thoughts to put it all in perspective. Reading those confessions is pretty addicting and they make you feel pretty darn good.”
— Cafe Mom

“Funny, charming, engaging and highly prone to making me laugh my head off.”
—www.Babble.com

“Thousands upon thousands of mothers grasp onto her every word.”
The Baltimore Sun on Jill Smokler’s groundbreaking blog

"If you need an irreverent, hysterical and oftentimes too-close-for-comfort look at motherhood, you need Scary Mommy."
The Huffington Post

“If you haven’t been reading Jill Smokler’s Scary Mommy blog, you’re missing out on all sorts of confessional hilarity…[CONFESSIONS OF A SCARY MOMMY] is a quick and relatable read that will have you in stitches by the end (or right at the beginning)."
New York Family Magazine

"For anyone who has ever felt like they’re a failure at being a “perfect parent,” or are scared they wouldn’t be good enough parents to have children, after reading this book you’ll know you aren’t alone."
Ruckus Mag

About the Author

Jill Smokler is a New York Times bestselling author and domestic satirist whose candor about marriage and parenting has made her an unlikely hero among a new generation of women. She holds a degree in graphic design and psychology from Washington University in St. Louis and has three children. Married to her college sweetheart, she and her family live in downtown Baltimore.

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars So Honest and full of humour Oct. 11 2013
By Jayne
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I had accidently found Jill Smokler's blog and than had to buy this book. So worth it, I laughed and really enjoyed the honesty of the mom confessions.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! June 17 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Great book, easy read, some heartbreaking confessions. Much enjoyed and shared. Makes a great gift or book for new or old parents.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Funny May 10 2013
By BM
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Tired of the same old parenting books? Read this and get a realistic view from a witty mother of 3. She tells it like it is with just a touch of sarcasm. Loved the 'confessions' that were added from the blog. Great read!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great Dec 5 2012
By ariel
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Really funny the little blurbs I've read. Giving it to my sister in-law who just had her first baby, for a Christmas gift.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.6 out of 5 stars  254 reviews
35 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The reality of motherhood without the sugar coating April 6 2012
By Amie - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
For 13 years I have read parenting books, visited mommy message boards, and googled parenting advice. For 13 years I have wondered where I have gone wrong and why my life as a mother isn't picture perfect. Then Jill and her website and this amazing book came along. Now I know that not only am I not alone, but that it is ok to ignore the kids banging on the bathroom door while you take the only shower you have had in three days and that my children are not the only ones to refuse to eat anything but processed orange foods (grilled cheese and mac and cheese out of the "blue box") for most of their young lives. And the confessions? O...M...G! Most of them had me in tears from laughing, but there were a few that had me in tears of sadness for the poor mommy, mostly because I had felt her pain at one point in time.

This book was amazing and should be read by every mother and mother to be. There are a few on my list who will be getting this book.

I love my children dearly, but sometimes I wonder how I got through some moments with them without spending the rest of my days in a comfortable straight jacket and a nice, padded room. And now I know I am not alone.
18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FINALLY! A mom who tells it like it is! LOVE THIS BOOK! April 4 2012
By Violet L - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
CONFESSIONS OF A SCARY MOMMY is the first "parenting" book I've read that really tells it like it is, and not some idealized version of what it should be. As soon as I started reading, I fell in love with Jill's voice and I couldn't put it down. I really related to so many of her experiences and others were plain laugh out loud, pee in my pants, funny. I will highly recommend this book to all the moms I know!
17 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Removes the Veil of Perfection on Parenting April 3 2012
By Nicole H. - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Reading Confessions of a Scary Mommy honestly made me feel less alone and judged in my journey as a mother. I felt less like I had to fit a mold and that was quite freeing.

What I love about Confessions of a Scary Mommy is it removes the veil of perfection. It allows us to laugh and cry and be completely ok with our choices as parents. It's a must read for any parent.
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Mothers Lifesaver! May 27 2012
By Mrs. N - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I found this book after my 2 year old daughter and I had the worst day of my motherhood career. So bad that after she was in bed, I sat on the kitchen floor with my back to the wall and sobbed. I sat there with 1000 thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts that I would have NEVER admitted to anyone. Thoughts like "I don't want to be a mom anymore" "Im a terrible mother" "I hate my daughter." I wanted so bad to be surrounded by other mothers who could tell me that they've been in my shoes. That their children have made them so furious that they wanted to run away from their lives and never look back.

I then got on Amazon.com and found Confessions of a Scary Mommy. The title seemed fitting for me; I was totally a scary mommy at that point. I downloaded it onto my Kindle Fire and as soon as I started reading the "Scary Mommy Manifesto" I felt this book was written for me! I was able to connect with the book on almost every page. It was as if Jill had been spying on me since I became a mom. This book is about the kind of motherhood that so many mothers try to hide but need to come to terms with.

If I hadn't come across this book, I would have thought I was the worst mother alive! After all, who would want to run away from the wonderful joys of motherhood....? ALL MOTHERS! THAT'S WHO!!! This book made be laugh. It made me cry. Most importantly it made be sigh in relief. With this book I've learned to be a better mother because I'm not so hard on myself. I've realized that everyting I've been feeling and thinking are completely normal. Thank you Jill for writing a book about something too many women are scared to (candidly) admit. And thank you to all the confessions from other moms. I'll always be a member of the Scary Mommy community...and proud of it!

This will forever be my signature baby shower gift.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars normal mom May 25 2012
By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I loved reading this book for this simple reason, it made me feel like a normal mom. Not to mention I am a mom of a four year old girl and expecting a boy in a few months, I laughed so hard it made me suggest the book to any other mother I know!!
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