Confessions of a Teenage Drama

What do you think happens next?

That's right: The girls, giddy with delight, jump into the musician's bed -- and jump up and down on the mattress. Then they fool around with his... guitar collection! And when they change their outfits... well, it happens off-screen and the rocker is nowhere in the vicinity.

That's a taste of the thoroughly wholesome flavor of "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," a perky vehicle for Lindsay Lohan of "Freaky Friday" fame. It's set in a world where the streets of New York's Soho neighborhood are startlingly kid-friendly, police stations are squeaky-clean, and even garbage bags come in pastel shades.

A word to the wise: If you find the title tantalizing, you'll probably love the film.

Gail Parent's screenplay at least offers a few witty lines and some fresh twists on some standard situations, and the irresistibly lively Lohan gives her fans their money's worth, singing, dancing and clowning around cheerfully. She's nicely teamed with Alison Pill ("Pieces of April"), who puts her own distinctive spin on the timeworn wallflower-waiting-to-bloom role.

Lohan plays aspiring actress Lola -- her real name is Mary, but that's not exotic enough to suit her -- who is mortified when her mom (Glenne Headly) decides to transplant the family from Manhattan to Dellwood, N.J. A shared love of the band Sidarthur brings Lola together with Ella (Pill), a kind but socially awkward type. Lola and Ella scheme to crash Sidarthur's farewell concert in New York and the exclusive after-show bash, for which their archrival Carla (Megan Fox) already has secured an invitation.

What sets "Drama" apart from the run-of-the-mill teen tale is its surprisingly even-handed approach to its characters. Instead of being forced to sneak into the city to see the show, Lola and Ella actually work out a mutually acceptable compromise with their parents, who are not portrayed as useless neurotics or stern disciplinarians. Even Stu Wolff (Adam Garcia), the hard-drinking Liam Gallagher type Lola idolizes, is not drawn as an egomaniac or a louse -- and, aside from throwing donuts at the police, he's certainly a perfect gentlemen around the girls, even when he's sauced.

Lola's obsession with Stu is also very PG and pretty amusing as well. Stalking him through the streets of New York, she tells Ella, "Except for the garbage and the cars, it's just like following Heathcliff out on the moors!" Later on, an incident will drive our heroine into what she calls "a depression only Hamlet would recognize."

Like the Hayley Mills films of the 1960s or the Jodie Foster comedies of the 1970s, "Drama" continues Disney's tradition of creating silly yet endearing movies with immensely likable female stars. Just as previous generations embraced "That Darn Cat" and "Candleshoe," you can bet that 20 years from now a lot of moms in their mid-30s will see "Confessions" in the video store and tell their kids, "I remember seeing that one a long time ago -- it was soooo good!"

First off, Lindsay Lohans confidence and pretty outfits ease the audience by reminding them that her family will never come under financial straights (note the extreme fortune one would have to possess in order to carry on such an imense wardrobe) during the movie so you don't have to worry about a tedious commentary on class structure.

Second, the physical maturity and the borderline R rated behavior and theme of the movie coupled with the simultaneous innocence and clandestine sexuality of the main characters put the teenage characters in a chronological limbo whereby the audience cannot dicern and give evidence to support the exact age of said characters. This allows male members of the audience to oggle the preponderance of mammary tissue exhibited by the protagonists with impunity because the characters are sexually mature(17) while the female audience can right off the innocence and naivete of the protagonists as being the result of young age (15).

Thirdly, the relaitionship of the protagonists as portrayed by allison pill and lindsey lohan is absolutely entertaining, right on, pitch perfect and brilliantly scripted. In effect this becomes a buddy movie which preaches that no one in the high school hiearchy is down-trodden or abused if they have their own group of friends who support them and interact with them in a respectful manner. Lindsay lies to Allison, but when Allison confronts Lindsay about her trespass in verity Lindsay respectfully apologizes and they become stronger friends as a result which is what happens in real life.

Fourth, Adam Garcia is absolutely awesome as the lead singer for Sidarther, because he is a really funny dudley mooresque drunk who deserves more wide acclaim.

Fifth, the bright colors, hot outfits, fit girls and healthy complexions make this a great movie in which to forget the dark colors of the night, your drabby clothes, sagging waistline and aging skin so you can just munch the night away and bask in the glow of a well made trip back into the carefree wold of adolescent teenage girls.