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Connected Parenting [Hardcover]

Jennifer Kolari
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 5 2009 0670068411 978-0670068418

When a child is acting out, parents often respond with anger. But there is a better way. Drawing on twenty years of experience as a child therapist, Jennifer Kolari explains that children act up when they feel an adult does not understand their concerns. The answer is parenting with empathy, which Kolari helps parents implement via her proven CALM technique:

Connect emotionally
match the Affect of the child
Listen to what your child is saying
Mirror their emotion back to show  understanding
With this simple strategy, parents can connect with their child in any situation to reduce anxiety, de-escalate tantrums instantly and increase self-esteem. Insightful and empowering, Connected Parenting is filled with step-by-step advice and examples from families that have been transformed, often within weeks. It will bring out the best in you—and your child.

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Product Description

Book Description

A practical, hands-on guide to helping parents improve their relationships with their children. This book will be a helpful tool for parents seeking effective strategies for dealing with their challenging children and for fostering closer parent-child relationships.

About the Author

Jennifer Kolari is a child and family therapist with twenty years' experience of working with parents and children. She lives in Toronto with her husband and their three children.

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Customer Reviews

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Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent parenting book! May 18 2009
This is the only parenting book you will ever need. Kolari's methods are loving and effective -- and can turn around a difficult child in less than a month. This book is funny and warm, smart and insightful--I read it in one sitting.

Without question, a groundbreaking system for raising confident, strong, balanced, and resilient children. They should hand this one out in the delivery room.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars As necessary as air and chocolate! May 18 2009
Jennifer Kolari's book is timely, compassionate and trustworthy. Nobody's family life is perfect and Jennifer's methods can really help whether you have a child with real learning issues or a child who is going through a rough patch socially or who is emotionally sensitive.

I have struggled so long to stop the yelling matches with my son. We love each other more than life, yet I found we were constantly besieged by fighting that left me sad, exhausted and feeling like a failure. The mirroring that Jennifer teaches helped me to easily reach my son and then to deal with his self-control difficulties. Her methods took away the anger ingredient. We are moving forward in a much healthier way.

"Connected parenting" is easy to read, chock full of useful examples and it makes you feel empowered rather than "lesser than" as some of the other child help books do. I strongly recommend it for your bookshelf as it will see you through every stage of childhood. Jennifer's techniques do amazing things for adult relationships, too. You NEED THIS BOOK for whenever you're feeling incapable, lonely, stressed or simply in need of some familial inspiration. It will rock your world and solidify your family life.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Help is Here May 24 2009
By S Klein
Following years of bullying and our collective cry for
> help, Jennifer was able to crack that hard shell and out
> blossomed a self asured young women who is excelling in all
> aspects of her life, emotional, social and educational. As
> a family, we can't thank you enough.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read May 19 2009
Jennifer Kolari's approach to parenting was a god sent to our family as we helped our daughter through some tough times at school. The Connected Parenting model does just that...it connects you to your child and opens up communication in an honest and non-confrontational way. Unlike so many other parenting models, this one really works. A must-read for all parents.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Tool in Your Parenting Toolbox! May 18 2009
Jennifer Kolari's book will teach you how to connect with your child on a totally new level. The stories that she shares are poignant and funny and will teach you techniques that will help you mitigate any situation with children of all ages. Parenting is a wonderful journey, you'll want to pack this for the ride.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Finally! April 14 2010
Brilliant, just brilliant!

Finally a book that helps diminish the negative behaviors that exhaust parents and children AND helps parents and children develop strong bonds.

I have found parenting books that either help deal with the child's behavior at the risk of breaking bonds between the parent and child OR books that help develop the bonds. Finally, a book that does both!

The best parenting book I've ever read!
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4.0 out of 5 stars The best parenting book I have read so far March 25 2010
By RenLady
Of all the parenting books I have read, this one best explains how to talk and empathize with your child. It is better in this respect than "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk". One other thing that makes me prefer this book to all other empathy based parenting books is that it acknowledges the reality children, like the rest of us, are not ALWAYS going to respond to the empathic communication, and gives a plan for what to do when those situations arise. With other books, I felt like I was a failure as a parent when my child did not instantly respond to my attempts to communicate.
After trying the "mirroring" for a few days, I have already noticed that my 2 year old is becoming calmer.

Those who prefer the idea of parenting without punishments and rewards will not like the second half of the book which deals with setting limits as much as the first section.
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