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Product Description
Book Description
More than a million people have learned the secrets of effective conversation using Conversationally Speaking. This revised edition provides more ways to improve conversational skills by asking questions that promote conversation, learning how to listen so that others will be encouraged to talk, reducing anxiety in social situations and more.
About the Author
Alan Garner has taught hundreds of Conversationally Speaking workshops. He is the coauthor of Lifers for Adult Children.
"Scott, a 52-year-old construction contractor, reporting on his efforts to talk to his neighbors: I tried, I really did." Read the first page
Concordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars
For Complete Wallflowers Only,
By Dylan Mantini (Ithaca, NY) - See all my reviews
Ce commentaire est de: Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Paperback)
I have a little trouble sometimes maintaining a conversation, and small talk really isn't my forte. I don't ordinarily buy self-help books, but I read the reviews of this one and I thought I'd give it a try. Well, the good news is that apparently I'm much more socially capable than I'd thought. The bad news, for me, is that this book has little to offer to anyone capable of even the most banal responses in social situations. Say, for example, that someone comes up to you at a party and happens to mention that they've just returned from France. Would you (a) ask what airline they took and whether they enjoyed the flight, (b) ask what parts of France they'd visited, (c) offer observations based on your own experience in France, (d) ask the person how, as an American, he or she was received in France given the recent international tensions between the two countries, or (e) offer up any one of a thousand other innocuous responses? According to Garner, you should ask the person "how did you manage to get hotel rooms over there?" or "in what way was the food there different from what we have here?" Well, you can probably imagine how much further the conversation is fated to go once your interlocutor realizes that he/she is talking to a complete ditz: "Well, I called and made a reservation." "It's, uh, French food." I can see these suggestions being of some help if your only other alternative was to stammer out some unintelligible response, or to say, "Ooh la la," or some such thing. Such examples are rife throughout the book, leading me to believe that it could only possibly help the most socially inept among us. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean-spirited, and I can see how this book _might_ help someone who simply cannot think of a single thing to say. But even in that regard, Garner advances theories and then cuts them short without developing them. About five times I turned the page, expecting to continue reading whatever mildly interesting thesis Garner had put forth, only to find that the chapter had ended! The book is basically a powerpoint presentation for nerds. You're better off just having a little confidence in your own abilities.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Covers certain skills well, but not perfect.,
By Luscious Luke "luckyluke1202" (Salt Lake City, UT United States) - See all my reviews
Ce commentaire est de: Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Paperback)
This is the first book I've read that covers the difficult art of conversation. This book contains information just unobvious enough to not be common sense to most people so it is worth the money you will pay for it, but don't expect it to turn a person lacking conversational skills into Mr. Popular.My main problem with the book is that it gives plenty of tips on getting others to talk and listening carefully to what they say, but lacks in its information on your ability to communicate what YOU want to say in a way that will get people interested in what you have to say. There is nothing in there about improving your conversational wit. But an even larger problem I have with this book is that there is absolutely no information about humor. I believe humor is one of the most important skills a good conversationalist can have. In other words, even if you perfect every skill in this book, you will still be a fairly boring person. You may sound intellectual and be able to follow a conversation effectively, but you will still sound like a robot. The communication this book teaches just sounds too formal to be completely realistic. People just don't talk like the examples seem to suggest in informal situations like parties, bars, restaraunts, etc. This is all coming from a college sophomore who is looking to become "cooler" and make more friends, but this book does little to improve that aspect of my life. Therefore, my opinions may not apply to everyone and an older person who isn't concerned with such things may find this book quite a bit more useful.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Once a weirdo wallflower, now I'm socially confident!,
By A Customer
Ce commentaire est de: Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Paperback)
10 years ago I felt like a soul going about in a suit of armor fashioned from rusty scrap metal which had once been a septic tank. I had problems stemming from my youth.The time had come for me to change or I was going to die, either of lonliness or suicide, so I got into therapy. I started feeling better soon, but needed to build new, practical habits. I hardly knew where to begin; books seemed a good place. I found Alan Garner's book and seized it immediately. It's a wonderful book if you desire practical conversational skills that will touch many areas of you life in a positive way. Garner gently guides you step-by-step from finding others to meet, to starting conversations & keeping them going, to resolving conflicts once you're in a relationship. How fascinating for a young man like me to know the freedom of exchanging silly pick-up lines (or begging) for the calm of honest interest and realistic expectatations. I am no longer bewildered about why some people are much more successful that others socially, and if you read Alan Garner's book you'll join in the understanding. May you set yourself free.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book!
Easy reading, lots of examples, very usefull
Published on Dec 26 2002
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