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Crazy Love Hardcover – Mar 31 2009

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (March 31 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312377452
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312377458
  • Product Dimensions: 2.8 x 14.4 x 21.9 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 431 g
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #514,553 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

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Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By murrie redman on April 30 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book took me into a couple of ordinary lives that proved love can be tragic. Inner tragedy is not always born of self and often the self that is constructed of outside forces when formed, cannot be denied. Those brought up by parents who abuse are stamped with that pattern and it is indelible. In this love tale, two people are caught in an eddy of abusive beatings that come close to murder. Here is a wife who loved beyond reason and a husband so marked by his past that he can't stop his karma. To learn that abuse mechanisms never stop, no matter how much love is poured into it, is a horrific fact proved every day and makes this story a dire warning.
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By Herb Wiseman on March 30 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Women do not always realize their unconscious motives behind their remaining with an abusive male or fail to realize the faulty thinking affecting them. This book reveals Steiner's thought and feeling processes which hopefully will be of value to other women in similar circumstances. Her journey towards recognizing her faulty beliefs will help others who do not understand why women stay so long in abusive relationships.
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0 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Sara Ellen Murray on Aug. 15 2009
Format: Hardcover
This book was nothing that I haven't heard before. I am sure that people would get knowledge from it but you only have to watch Oprah or Dr. Phil or pick up just about any magazine and you will hear everything you need to know about abuse both mental and physical.
A disappointment really....
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 91 reviews
64 of 68 people found the following review helpful
Well written April 2 2009
By peggysou - Published on
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Crazy Love is an apt title for a memoir about an abusive relationship. It is crazy to anyone on the outside looking in. It is crazy for the woman to stay in the relationship. It is crazy to take one minute of abuse and stay for more. It is crazy to think an abusive man will change.
I read this well written book in one sitting. Did I feel sorry for poor Conor? For his miserable childhood, yes. For his inability to handle his rage as an adult, no. I wanted him punished. I want him exposed now and publicly ridiculed.
For those of you who think there are always two sides of a story, you are wrong. Men who do this should be put on a public offender list, and be branded as abusers for the rest of their lives.
When she was nearly choked to death by Conor before they were married, I thought she was crazy to stay. When she went to counseling with him after their separation, I was stunned. How crazy could she be?
A funny reaction from someone like me. I went through the same thing 40 years ago. What this books points out, so well, is that there is no logical explanation as to why a woman would remain in such a relationship. You do enter a surreal world of denial and shame. How do you admit that the person you love most in the world, and who professes to love you as much, is beating the stuffing out of you? How do you leave when you have no money, no home to go to? How do you face the humiliation? Trust me when I say that the humiliation is nearly unbearable. Do you know many people will wonder what you did to make your husband beat you? Do you know that many people, even your family, will think you are probably exaggerating?
Nothing in this book is exaggerated. It is a true and heartbreaking story of how easy it is to find yourself in a crazy world, and the struggle to wake up from the nightmare and regain your sanity.
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Courageous--this book will save lives April 20 2009
By Amy Tiemann - Published on
Format: Hardcover
I am pretty puzzled by the negative reviews here. "Crazy Love" is a courageous, unflinching look inside an abusive relationship. It is a difficult but well-written, powerful story.

Leslie Morgan Steiner does us all a service by illustrating the pattern she experienced in her abusive relationship, especially the small steps her partner took to draw her in--his charm and his neediness, their deep connection, and then the boundary testing and slow escalation of violence. When she did not call his early possessiveness and jealousy into question, he increased his control over her, through isolation by moving to Vermont, financial dependence when Leslie left her New York job, alienation of her family, and then increasing violence. He was a Wall Street financier, she was a Harvard grad and Seventeen Magazine editor. On the outside they looked like they had everything going for them. Behind closed doors, Conor punched Leslie, belittled her, and threatened her, daring her to leave at vulnerable times when she had nowhere else to go.

The author admits her blind spot: she deeply loved him and wanted to rescue him from his own violent past as an abused child. It took the realization that he truly could kill her to cut through her denial, call the police, and get help and get away from her abuser forever.

Leslie Morgan Steiner paints a full picture in her narrative: her own family had serious dysfunctions. She herself was a recovering addict, just out of her teen years and inexperienced in healthy relationships, who had only recently graduated from college when she met Conor. Her parents had their own divorce drama playing out while this was all going on. Leslie was vulnerable in so many ways and admits how deeply attached she allowed herself to become to Conor, even as he was hurting her. Telling the truth about abuse can be the first step to getting help, and I believe this story will help save lives by allowing other women to examine the truths about abuse, and then take steps to escape the violence.

One irony about this book: in many interviews Leslie Morgan Steiner has said that when we talk about domestic violence, she wishes we focused more on why abusers hurt the people they love. Her own memoir can only be told from her perspective, so it is about how she became pulled in and why she stayed for so long. But I applaud both her writing and her continued speaking out about the problem and cycle of domestic violence, which affects millions of American families every year.
36 of 43 people found the following review helpful
A key point April 14 2009
By Joe Random - Published on
Format: Hardcover
I heard the author of this book being interviewed on NPR today, and I just had to respond to one thing, because I'm a guy (unfortunately the NPR comments are closed): The moment this abusive guy said [paraphrasing] "If you don't want to be my property, then get out", THAT was the signal to leave. Guys are pretty direct a lot of the time. When he said that, he was telling the literal truth of how it would be. His property or leave. The moment you hear anything like that, grab your stuff, walk out the door, and don't look back. Don't make the mistake of thinking he doesn't mean it. I know men and women have different communication styles, but this is one instance where women need to know how to understand what he's saying. I am not in any way implying that any of this situation was her fault. I'm just pointing out, because I want this to become common knowledge among women, because I have a sister, that a statement like that is a clear danger signal.
24 of 28 people found the following review helpful
A telling tale with too much telling and not enough depth...wait for the paperback April 19 2009
By alexis ho - Published on
Format: Hardcover
Crazy Love was a very quick read. It was written more like an extended magazine feature than a memoir with multiple layers and true craft. I felt it was an interesting read but ultimately a tale about a young affluent woman who with her Harvard degree, anorexic past, alcoholic pedigree, falls for the wrong man. I was hoping for more insight from the author than what she was willing to give. I wanted to know how she felt about herself and not just the actions she took. All in all I would recommend waiting for the paperback version.
27 of 32 people found the following review helpful
Fascinating read despite major flaws June 16 2010
By MYM Seattle - Published on
Format: Paperback
This book recounts the author's first marriage to a messed up, controlling, abusing man. I found it fascinating and read it in one sitting, but at the same time I ended up ultimately feeling dissatisfied. The author actually does not give us a lot of insight into what led her to the decisions that she made, and I get the sense that she still doesn't know. It is more a recounting of events than a memoir with any layers of discovery or self-knowledge.

I admire the author's honestly and willingness to be open about some truly stupid things that she'd done - it takes a lot of courage to put that in print. Like others, I found her constant references to being blond, Harvard-educated, and a WASP to be overkill. We get it, really. It is as if she needs to remind herself of those facts, and that she truly believes that those are the most important things about her, and reasons for the world to envy and admire her.

There were a few cheap shots towards family members, and just enough about her truly messed up adolescence to confuse the story - is there a connection between growing up in an alcoholic family, being an attention-seeking anorexic, and allowing herself to become completely dependent on a man who hurt and scared her? Absolutely, but we don't get any insight into what that connection is. From my own experience, if you grow up around alcohol you get very skilled at pretending things are normal when they are not.

Anyway, I enjoyed the book as a confessional, a train-wreck, and a gripping read, but I ended up not really liking the protagonist very much, and thinking she still has a lot of work to do to really understand her own actions and motivations.

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