Dangerous Friend: The Teacher-Student Relationship in Vajrayana Buddhism: Amazon.ca: Rig'dzin Dorje: Books

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"A vibrant, provocative work."— Tricycle

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Although Tibetan Buddhism continues to grow in popularity, the crucial relationship between teacher and student remains largely misunderstood. Dangerous Friend offers an in-depth exploration of this mysterious and complex bond, a relationship of paramount importance in Tibetan Buddhist practice.

According to Tibetan Buddhist tradition, the student must have complete trust in the teacher (the "dangerous friend") if he or she is to achieve any understanding. It is the teacher's responsibility to uphold the integrity of the tradition, the basis of which is compassion for all beings, by transmitting it properly to an appropriate student. Likewise, it is the student's responsibility to meet the challenge of carrying on the lineage of teachings. By entering such a relationship, both teacher and student accept the burden of protecting those teachings by understanding them completely and correctly, by practicing them fully and faultlessly, and by transmitting them without omission.

Dangerous Friend includes discussions of the following topics:

   • Meeting and recognizing an appropriate teacher.
   • Understanding the gravity of entering the teacher-student relationship.
   • Shifting one's approach from spiritual materialism to genuine Buddhist practice.
   • Accepting the challenge of being truly kind, honest, and courageous.

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8 Reviews

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3.8 out of 5 stars (8 customer reviews)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars "Spin Control" for the Student / Lama Relationship, Dec 11 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Dangerous Friend: The Teacher-Student Relationship in Vajrayana Buddhism (Paperback)

It was sad to read a book on the Student/Lama relationship where the author disregards the experiences of western students who have been manipulated from a person they have looked to for spiritual guidance.

The Q&A on the potential for cults incorrectly placed an equal amount of responsibility on both the student and the Lama. How can their be equal accountability when the balance of power favors the Lama in the Vajrayana relationship framework?

The Lama has a responsibility to his/her students to express activity that generates faith rather than causes a loss of faith. The basic precepts are for all practicioners, and no individual in a leadership positon should possess a double-standard.

Students are right to question any Lama's conduct, epecially when that conduct involves manipulation, financial mismanagement, sexual relations with students, etc. and to bring that information public.

Let our Teachers/Lamas demonstrate their commitment to the Dharma and their students through pure conduct. If they are not up to the task they should simply step down.

For a Lama, confronted with their negative actions, to simply "go into retreat" until the crisis dies down is a "spin" technique that I, for one, would like to see disappear.

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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Ground-breaking but flawed, Sep 12 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Dangerous Friend: The Teacher-Student Relationship in Vajrayana Buddhism (Paperback)

While there are some touching personal accounts in this book, ostensibly about the teacher/student relationship in Vajrayana, most of the content of this book is spoiled by persistent bombastic hyperbole.

The vajra master is supposed to "override dualistic rationale", for instance! What the heck does that mean?

The impression conveyed of the vajra master is some sort of cross between Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda's imaginary friend) and the "Master" in the Kung Fu television series. With a little encounter therapy thrown in for good measure (the author has a fondness for pseudo-psychologisms, such as the abundant use of the word "neurosis"; I suppose the author has read a lot of Trungpa Rinpoche).

Overall it adds up to a bit of a sensationalized and perhaps somewhat misleading characterization of the teacher/student relationship. Everything is just so dramatic. I think this could lead to unrealistic expectations in the real world of vajra-relationship with one's teacher.

On a positive note, there really isn't any other book quite like this at the moment. While there are several books already written on the Teacher in vajrayana, all of them so far are either translations of traditional texts or academic treatments of the subject. "Dangerous Friend" explores new ground through being written by a contemporary practitioner in contemporary language. Though I personally was turned off by the author's writing style, I think that others, especially those that are fond of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche's books, will probably enjoy this book.

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3.0 out of 5 stars Good Read But......, Dec 28 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Dangerous Friend: The Teacher-Student Relationship in Vajrayana Buddhism (Paperback)

This is a good read. It is written well but it is based on alot of idealization and romanticization of the human all too human Guru. True Guru's do act as mirrors and provide the necessary guidance, but like another reviewer pointed out, the authors fail to deal with the imperfections or problems that we know only too well. Adi Da, Rajneesh, Chetananda, and even the brilliant Chogyam Trungpa. Trungpa was true alcoholic! As I said the book is a good read. It is written in a sort of maverick style full of metaphors that are over the top in terms of totally idealizing the Guru in a hot rod mean machine style. In fact the Guru is likened to the fuel you need to get your Harley on the road! In it's best sense the Guru does propel you to reality but how many out there are there who really can deliver in the sense that the Vajra Master is portrayed here?
I can think of on good example: Lee Lozowick. he is a conservative crazy wisdom master who's been at it for over 30 years and he still hasn't screwed up anyone or abused them or had orgies with booze and drugs. In his presence, the mirror is potently evident. However, he is very low profile and few want to acknowledge his authenticity because he never fits most peoples conceptions of a Master. But having sat at his feet off on over the years, I happen to know that he has truly grown into the Guru function and has more integrity than many teachers out there. No this is not an advertisment for him, just an example that there are true dangerous friends, but most of the time the topic and possibility of the dangerous friend is dangerous in the worst way!

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Most recent customer reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars An Excellent Book
The author has done the world of Vajrayana Buddhism a true service by writing this book. I knew early on in the book that I was going to enjoy it immensely. Read more

Published on Jan 17 2003 by Michael Brunk

4.0 out of 5 stars Concise Guidance On A Difficult Issue
First, let me distinguish myself from the other reviewers of this book. I conduct my reading and intellectual pursuits from outside that great paradoxical and mystical... Read more

Published on July 9 2002 by Mark D. Kindt