- Actors: William Hope, Leon Herbert, Ronald Pickup, Philip Bretherton, Noah Huntley
- Directors: Pete Riski
- Writers: Lordi, Pete Riski, Aretta Vähälä, Harri Virtanen, Howard Brodsky
- Format: Dolby, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC, Import
- Language: English
- Subtitles: English, Spanish
- Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
- Number of discs: 1
- MPAA Rating:
- Studio: Lions Gate
- Release Date: Oct 14 2008
- Run Time: 85 minutes
- Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1 customer review)
- ASIN: B001D262JW
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Most helpful customer reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars
If you have no idea who Lordi is, then you can get through this one without laughing,
By Lawrance M. Bernabo (The Zenith City, Duluth, Minnesota) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER) (HALL OF FAME)
This review is from: Dark Floors (DVD)
The full title of this film is apparently "Dark Floors: The Lordi Motion Picture," which is important because Lordi is a heavy metal group from Finland that dresses up in elaborate monster-like costumes. I was not really aware of this and since I had never heard of the group before was not able to recognize them when Mr. Lordi, OX, Amen, Awa, and Kita starting popping up as the monsters in this 2008 movie (and, of course, they have recorded a new song, "Beast Loose in Paradise," for the end credits). This matters because since I did not know these guys from Adam, there were just monsters. Imagine, if you will, that this was "Dark Floors: The Kiss Motion Picture," and every time Space Ace, Starchild, Catman or the Demon popped up you would laugh you ass off (I say this remembering full well that the band popped up as superheroes in several Marvel comics, including both "Howard The Duck" and a magazine printed with REAL KISS BLOOD). Actually, Lordi looks more like GWAR, the thrash metal band than Kiss, but either way you understand the principle. For fans of Lordi, this movie has an inherent comic element that we ignorant types are not burdened. Also, know going in that while half of the Ghost House Underground films released on DVD this October are dubbed, "Dark Floors" is not.Young Sarah (Skye Bennet) is autistic and with health problems, but the hospital cannot come up with any answers, so her father, Ben (Noah Huntley), wants to take her out of there. But the elevator breaks down and they, along with the others in the elevator, find that when the doors open the hospital is deserted. and we quickly get the feeling that we are not in Helsinki any more. Lordi, no. As they move from floor to floor, things get progressively more decrepit and more dangerous. Of course the ability of any of this group to get out of the hospital alive relies on Sarah, because she is autistic, and what we do not know about autism can work as the deus ex machina in any horror movie. Besides, when people check out the phones in this hospital there are whispered requests demands for the girl, so even the people in the movie know that Sarah is the key. The other characters along for the ride are Emily (Dominique McElligott), who is clearly a bit smarter and braver than the guys she is stuck with, which are Jon (William Hope), Walter (Philip Bretherton), Rick (Leon Herbert), and Tobias (Ronald Pickup), the crazy old coot who is the only one with a clue and who handles the requisite exposition duties. The working title in Finnish for this film was "Punainen liitu," which translates as "Red Chalk," and actually is more appropriate for the plot here since the floors in this film are not particularly dark (and when they get dirty so do the walls and ceilings). I think that the vibe this movie was going for was like "Silent Hill," with the whole "what the hell is happening here?" vibe, more than any other recent horror movie that comes to mind. My complaint with Lordi is not that these are heavy metal guys running around in monster costumes, because since I had never seen them before that was easy to forget. Instead my problem is that the movie ends up being like a fun house at Halloween, where you go through the thing and periodically monsters jump out, you jump, they disappear, and you keep going. Being the monsters in a horror movie would appear to be self-indulgent at face value, but the five band members pretty much have the smallest roles. Director Pete Riski does not come up with anything special for this horror film, but then there is nothing special being set up by Pekka Lehtosaari's script. The bottom line is that if I knew who Lordi was then I probably would have laughed every time one of them showed up, but I did not, so I was able to actually take this movie at face value. There is very little blood and gore, and the oppressive atmosphere quickly dissipates because there is no real sense of moving towards a climax because why this movie telegraphs from the opening moment that the little girl is going to save the day, there is no real sense of what she is saving them from. I suppose a case could be made for the horrors of existentialist angst, but there is just grabbing for straws to try and make sense of this film. Besides, because of the limitations of the young actress playing Sarah, the character works best when she is not saying anything, so she is unable to carry the off the big finish when she has to start talking. The end game reminded me of what I thought was the best film of 2006, which is why I round up on "Dark Floors," but I do not want to ruin the best part of the film if you decide to check it out. This is not the best ("Dance of the Dead") or even one of the better ("The Substitute") DVDs in this GHU collection, but it is definitely in the middle and not one of the really bad ones.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
3.1 out of 5 stars (37 customer reviews) 4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Decent Scares But Complicated Story Leaves The Audience Confused,
By Siklootd - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Dark Floors (DVD)
Dark Floors is a rare horror film that may entice some viewers but may have them leaving the viewing experience with mixed feelings. This films starts off on the right foot, setting up a dark tone from the start and placing the audience in the midst of what initially appears to be a great horror film. The opening scenes are promising; a little girl with a disability is being tested at a hospital for possible treatments. Always armed with a paper and crayon, the little girl seems to be drawing events before they occur. This leaves the audience to believe that either she is psychic or she can see the dead. A plot twist that could add to the overall "horror" of the film.However, the story becomes more complicated when it's revealed to the audience that somehow time has frozen. This causes a ripple effect on the characters within the film by leaving their past, future, and present selves to all be capable of interacting with one another. The actors experience encounters with themselves in many instances, including shooting themselves and talking to themselves over the hospital's intercom. All of these events are gradually explained, all while the cast is busy fighting off various monsters that all seem to be after the young girl, for an undisclosed reason that is never fully revealed to the viewer, making the overall plot very difficult to follow and/or comprehend. The film, at one point, even has a "Silent Hill" type moment where the cast is somehow placed in a different dimension where they cannot interact with the people they see until returning to the alternate world in which they are trapped. This never truly adds to the film, in fact it only contributes to a higher level of confusion overall for the audience in an already difficult to understand plot. The film has a nice line up of scares in store for the viewers which range from "jump" moments placed at appropriate times, or just overall well done scary moments that include dark hallways, elevators, and an overall dark ambiance that is portrayed. The lighting and acting is quite good and contributes quite nicely to the feel of the film. However, no amount of environmental set ups can save Dark Floors from being a hard to understand horror movie. The film's ending makes you wonder why everything has been occurring the entire time and it makes the viewer believe that the events that just occurred in the film are going to repeat all over again. This made me ask myself, "How many times has this already occurred", a question that is never answered either. The final encounter between the disabled girl and the lead monster (lead singer of Lordi) makes even less sense. One would assume that with that encounter occurring that the story could end there, however, the entire situation seems to comes back into play again. I am a Metal fan, however, I do not like the band "Lordi" since their musical style does not fit into my spectrum of taste, but the band did a great job in this movie despite the overall terrible and almost non-existing plot. I purchased this movie simply because I'm a fan of horror films, however, I could not fully recommend this film to anyone due to the horrendous storyline. If you're looking for some good scares, a great ambiance and environment, but do not mind trying to figure out a story, then this film may be a good choice. Had the story been more clear and precise in explaining itself then I could say that this was a good film, but in the form it was written I can simply state that it's mediocre at best. 6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars
I'm Still Looking For The "Dark" Part...,
By Mike Sehorn "Rezo the Dezo" - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Dark Floors (DVD)
I've been a fan of Lordi for six years now, meaning that I was listening to their music long before they won Eurovision and gained international fame. Thus far, I have loved everything the band has done, including their 2004 short film, "The Kin". Needless to say, I was excited when the band first announced their plans to make a full-length horror movie. It made sense: of all the bands in the world, which would be better suited to make a movie about monsters than the Finnish ambassadors of shock rock? The film originally premiered in February 2008, but I endured an extra ten months for the DVD release. This proved a wise decision, as it turned out, for had I been in a theater, the monsters themselves would likely have come down to tell me to stifle my groans of disappointment.The story: Sarah (Skye Bennett, Against the Dark) is a little girl suffering from an unknown mental illness. When her father (Noah Huntley, 28 Days Later) attempts to remove her from the hospital, they and a group of strangers comprised of a benevolent nurse (Dominique McElligot, "On Home Ground"), a brave security guard (Leon Herbert, "The Paradise Club"), a paranoid commuter (William Hope, Aliens), and a disturbed homeless man (Ronald Pickup, "Waters of the Moon") find themselves trapped in the building as it undergoes a dark transformation and becomes filled with bloodthirsty monsters. I tried approaching this movie in different ways, trying to make it work for me. First, as a showcase for the band and their onstage personas; this didn't work, since the monsters have disappointingly little screentime. Secondly, as an '80s-style splatter film, since Lordi draw much of their inspiration from this medium; didn't work either, since there's very little blood and gore and, again, few monster moments. Finally, I tried to watch it as a movie that intentionally confused the audience, and this may work best since the film offers absolutely absolutely no enlightenment after leaving the audience in the dark for so long with the unexplained the twists, turns, and other weirdo plot elements. I'm left to believe that the filmmakers themselves lost track of what kind of story they were trying to tell, since the film is so convoluted and stingy in giving hints that would explain what's happening. It's been pointed out before, and I'll reinforce the complaint: there is no explanation as to why the hospital transformed, what the monsters are doing there, or what Sarah's condition is. Some aspects from "The Kin" are present - the manipulating of time and space and the horror of life after death - but they only make the film's plot a bigger mystery never to be solved. It's really frustrating, even for a fan. If you're counting on the fear of the unknown to tide you over, I'm afraid that the film isn't very scary, either. Reliance on cheap jolt scares are a death knell, seeing as there's nothing very frightening about slow-motion shots of windows and walls exploding. The monsters themselves also look very much out of place: with the exception of Awa and Lordi, their costumes don't even fit into the film's art design, and will have viewers who are unfamiliar with the band wondering if Kita's armor, OX's nose ring, or Amen's being a mummy have anything to do with the solution to the plot. The acting also needs help: even though they're playing cardboard characters you've seen in a thousand other horror movies, Hope, Herbert, and Pickup especially need to spend a few lessons with their acting coaches, and Skye Bennett will start annoying viewers before she arouses sympathy. I'm not sure if I can accurately express how disappointed I am in this movie. True, maybe I was foolish to expect anything great from a film made about a rock band (Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park should have taught me better), but for all that seems to have gone into its production, you'd think that they could have done just a bit better. Director Pete Riski should've known that he was not shooting a music video and Mr. Lordi should've known that fans were expecting more from him and his group than cameos and a poorly-composed plot. I'm afraid that the only folks who'll be interested in this film are fans of the band, but then again, like me, they too will be struggling to stay awake. 3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Dark Floors,
By Carl Manes - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Dark Floors (DVD)
A father and his invalid daughter are trapped in a deserted hospital along with several other strangers as the dark hallways come to life with gruesome demons. DARK FLOORS is a stagnant haunted hospital tale that never gets off the ground. It feels like a scrapbook of more successful Horror features butchered in to a single incoherent film where the characters just wander about the halls aimlessly for over an hour. When the occasional demon does appear, the characters are rarely frightened or even stunned. The decayed hospital setting is sufficiently creepy, but the only workable elements of the entire film lie in the creature FX and costuming of the demons themselves. Considering the costumes belonged to the Shock Rocker band Lordi, and that the film was initially conceived as a poor excuse to mass market the band on the international market, it cant even take credit for these creations. DARK FLOORS proves to be a bland, uninspired, and unoriginal Horror film that relies far too heavily on the strength of its villains while forgetting about minor elements like character or plot.-Carl Manes I Like Horror Movies |
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