Dating For Dummies [Abridged, Audiobook] [Audio Cassette]

We evaluated how the following five topics were approached in the book:

Commitment- Commitment was in fact addressed in Dating for Dummies. However, it was addressed indirectly in a whole chapter as it is defined in terms of casual, serious, and heavy dating relationships. Dating for Dummies was very practical in its discussion of commitment, but not very thorough. It outlined what level of commitment should be inherent in a relationship, which depends on whether the relationship is casual, serious, or exclusive, etc.

Trust- Trust was found in the index, which indicated discussion on developing trust through self-disclosure, trust as a factor in breaking up, and being able to trust someone enough in a relationship to know that one is safe. Specifically, the book was very detailed on developing trust through self-disclosure and provided examples and tips for making that happen more effectively.

Conflict- Dating for Dummies did address the topic of conflict. While there were no sections mentioned in the index, there were four brief paragraphs that addressed conflict from a very common sense approach. With only four paragraphs to discuss conflict, there were not many examples or exercises for acceptable behavior in dealing with conflict.
Verbal Communication- Dating for Dummies discussed verbal communication skills by providing guidelines on how to communicate when out on a date. It limited itself to providing examples of lines and ideas of what to and what not to talk about. Also, it gave a lot of useful tips for conversations to have when one first meets someone of interest. It definitely targeted the general public with real examples that can one help truly understand and relate to the book.

Intimacy- Intimacy was addressed throughout Dating for Dummies in the context of self disclosure, expression of thought and emotion, listening, and making positive verbal statements. As such, this book provided specific examples of things to tell immediately, a list of things to tell eventually, things to tell before sex, and things to tell if asked or pushed. Also, the book provided rules on sharing feelings, including an example for each rule. Finally, the book provided specific topics that should not be disclosed such as sexual stories, previous love affairs, and flings with the boss, just to name a few. Also, in the case of positive regard, the book provided specific body parts to compliment and specific compliments to give about those body parts.

This book is best for the subject of intimacy.

(...)

The other 2/3 are just OK. When you start to get into the sections strictly applied to dating, which is why you would likely buy this book to begin with, it starts to get a little disappointing. As another reviewer said, many times Dr. Joy puts considerably more emphasis on the female perspective than that of the male. In her sections on the best and worst life situations in which to be dating, she also often does a disservice of sorts to her own gender while discouraging males by attaching some implied truth to the theory that women care more about money, wealth, success, etc. than being with a good guy. You should never use dating as an actual cure for personal problems, like losing a job or a family member or friend, but at times, she kind of implies that everything else in your life should simply be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT before you even consider dating. Aside from the fact that perfection is non-existent, this is not healthy advice. I don't know exactly why having someone special in your life couldn't be a cause of motivation in these areas, and not just a result. In other cases, the book becomes a printed advertisement for her profession as a therapist.

Read this book at least just for the sake of having something fun to read and again, to glean some good information about everyday social interaction. With its minor flaws, it is still better by a longshot than "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating", but being that the book is entitled "DATING for Dummies", the effectiveness of the content in a dating context should be tested with caution.