I absolutely enjoyed this book. It has cleared up many thoughts feelings and perceptions and given me the best clarity on the CRAZY MAKERS that we encounter and have to cope with in life. This wisdom and spiritual strength in Davids wealth of knowledge book hits right on and gives clear direction as to how to cope and handle the CRAZIES while keeping your sanity. The best way is avoidance in any situation but often that is not a given path so being informed and equipped helps you maintain your pace and joy in the midst of chaos and the crazy-makers tactics.
I am sharing the best parts of the book that I enjoyed.
Page 43 Don't feel, Don't hurt. Don't talk about problems.
This is the definition of a crazy-making world because our emotional well-being actually hinges on our ability to talk about problems, share painful and joyful emotions, and state clearly what we are seeing. To learn to be numb is the beginning of craziness.
A large part of the answer, for both the crazy-maker and for family members and friends, is to "come-alive", to turn on our "chaos detectors" and recognize when we are numbing ourselves instead of sharing our feelings. This includes regaining the ability to speak and rename the truth. We cannot do this if we are numb and entrenched in denial or if we are firmly enmeshed in the crazy-maker's world. Healing begins with the smallest step of awareness.
Page 46 The Egotist
One who immediately launches into a conversation about himself- the ones so full of themselves that they have little room for you. Having a balanced conversation with them is impossible. Talking with them can be entertaining, but at some point you begin to feel drained from listening to their larger-than-life accomplishment, In all their talking, they forget something critically important-asking sincere questions about you. That's because you are not really an important part of their internal landscape unless they can profit in some way. They are big, you are small, and they drain your energy with in satible demands. If you let them.
Page 62 Crazy makers...
(They are) people who consistently irritate and confront without taking responsibility or recognizing their limitations. They do not feel the impact or hurt caused by their chaotic obstinate behavior. Crazy-maker behavior ranges from being argumentative to being destructive. Depending on their lack of empathy, crazy-makers move by degrees from being difficult to being narcissistic. Totally self-absorbed, naricissistic persons marked by indifference and unconcern.
Aggressors use intimidation, anger, and perhaps even threats to gain control. They are experts at twisting your words, changing the subject, and heating up the conversation, all of which can make you feel very ucomfortable.
Page 64 "It's all about them!" Power is the overarching theme.
They prey on those who are weaker than themselves and bring them into their corner.
Page 97 Borderline Personalities...When they attack you...
Frantically, you defend yourself. And that is mistake number one. You have been hooked! You try to convince the borderline that what she is seeing, what she is feeling, what she is perceiving is wrong. But defending yourself does not work. Give it up.
Page 113 When anyone in a relationship is dishonest, the integrity of that relationship is compromised. The relationship becomes dysfunctional.
Page 116 Truth always sets us free. When we live in the truth we don't need to hide from anyone. We don't need to slink around in the shadows freaful of being exposed.
Deception breeds additional deception. They told lie upon lie, pointing the blame in every possible direction.
Page 118 I have worked extensively with aggressors. They often twist the truth to fit their needs at a particular moment. They use fear and intimidation to control others, and it often works. They employ deception and twist words to convince others not to look too closely into their lives or their motives. If neccessary, they use outright lies. At times, what they don't say is deceptive. These people are not willing to share any more of the truth than what they can use to their own advantage.
If you challenge an aggressor's thinking or behavior, you aren't likely to get the truth. Aggressors are not likely to own up to their deceptive ways. In fact, they are more likely to dig themselves in even deeper, using more lies to cover up the original deception. They may even attempt to turn the tables on you by accusing you of the very thing of which you have accused them. But if we open our eyes, we see aggressors for what they are-aggressive, self-centered, and immature. They are jerks! Aggressors are people we often choose to avoid-until we are caught in their net of deception and have no choice but to find a way to deal with them.
Page 127 Knowing that crazy makers are dedicated to deception is a powerful insight, but will be of little worth to you unless you use this knowledge to extricate yourself from their net. Bullies' attacks are not personal. Bullies yell at everyone. If you think about it, the attacks actually say more about who and what the Bullies are than they do about you.
Page 140 Unforgiveness in a relationship is like a cancer out of control. It is bitterness turned against another again and again. To be the recipient of unforgiveness is to endure agonizing form of crazy making. People who hold grudges are holding you hostage. You cannot do anything to make them forget the alleged wrong you have done to them.
An excellent read and absolute necessity for understanding CRAZY-MAKERS!