- Paperback: 256 pages
- Publisher: Seal Press (Oct 13 2010)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1580053394
- ISBN-13: 978-1580053396
- Product Dimensions: 21.1 x 14 x 1.9 cm
- Shipping Weight: 159 g
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Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
#56,205 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Bisexuality
- #33 in Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Divorce
- #33 in Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Divorce
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Product Details |
Product Description
Product Description
The new buzzword in female sexuality is "sexual fluidity"--the idea that for many women, sexual identity can shift over time, often in the direction of same-sex relationships. Examples abound in popular culture, from actress Cynthia Nixon, who left her male partner of 15 years to be with a woman, to writer and comedienne Carol Leifer, who divorced her husband for the same reason.
In a culture increasingly open to accepting this fluidity, "Dear John, I Love Jane" is a timely, fiercely candid exploration of female sexuality and personal choice. The book is comprised of essays written by a broad spectrum of women, including a number of well-known writers and personalities. Their stories are sometimes funny, sometimes painful--but always achingly honest--accounts of leaving a man for a woman, and the consequences of making such a choice.
Arousing, inspiring, bawdy, bold, and heartfelt, "Dear John, I Love Jane" is an engrossing reflection of a new era of female sexuality.
In a culture increasingly open to accepting this fluidity, "Dear John, I Love Jane" is a timely, fiercely candid exploration of female sexuality and personal choice. The book is comprised of essays written by a broad spectrum of women, including a number of well-known writers and personalities. Their stories are sometimes funny, sometimes painful--but always achingly honest--accounts of leaving a man for a woman, and the consequences of making such a choice.
Arousing, inspiring, bawdy, bold, and heartfelt, "Dear John, I Love Jane" is an engrossing reflection of a new era of female sexuality.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
5.0 out of 5 stars (14 customer reviews)
32 of 35 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
A place to meet women like me, Oct 19 2010
By RRR - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Dear John I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women (Paperback)
In "Dear John, I Love Jane" those of us who came out later in our lives, and especially after serious relationships with men (and often after having children), have found a place where (as editor Candace Walsh puts it) we could find "retreat that involved a tall stacked-stone fireplace and tumblers of shiraz."I wanted to connect. But the lesbians I met were not like me. They were Gold Star, they were kids, they had played both sides and were just deciding. They'd always known. In this book I found women like me. I appreciated their stories that shared SO MANY elements with my life. They were honest. They helped me be so as well. They said the things out loud that I was still afraid to say. They used exact terms that floated through my head over these past three years. They described feeling powerful, and feeling lost. They cried over missed events with children, or never looked back on their marriages. Most of them had been with men they described as "good, loving, kind, understanding." They had been in relationships with their best friends. But still they needed to leave. Needed to explore and understand the turmoil inside of them.
I wish I had this book when all this started. Or maybe I don't. Maybe you do need to find some of these things out for yourself. In any case, the book is here now. And it gives a loud and strong voice to women who find their truth in a variety of ways. I didn't always agree with the "hows" but I strongly identified with all the "whys."
The writing is varied and runs from easy and conversational to more disjointed prose. Some of the stories flow effortlessly to a joyous conclusion - some end in pain, and give the impression of one foot in the past, one in the present. Not a great way to live, but very much part of the process.
I keep wondering if this book will resonate beyond women like me. Can it help long-time lesbians understand their partners? Would it be helpful to ex-husbands (I struggle personally with this one). How about parents? Mine are dumbfounded (if not supportive) of my truth. I don't trust that KNOWING more women are like me would help them or not. I'll have to consider it more.
24 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
I am straight and found out my best friend who was married is gay, Nov 12 2010
By Tiffany - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Dear John I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women (Paperback)
After realizing that my best friend did not seem happy in her marriage or her life and seemed to be becoming more disconnected with me, after 30 years of friendship, I knew that something was wrong and that it was time to confront her. I did so. When she first told me that she was gay and had been living a secret life for the past year, I was shocked, angry and felt betrayed. I looked at her and saw us as friends for so many years. How could she not realize that although I am happily married and have kids that her being gay would not make any difference to our friendship or my opinion of her. She is my best friend. After speaking with her at length over several lunches, I learned a lot about her struggles and anguish that she had been experiencing. Hopefully, my unconditional support helped her to not feel so isolated and ashamed, for no reason. When I found out about this book, I went to buy it and read about other women who had left men for women. After reading the poignant stories in this book, I believe that it will help straight women understand the feelings,emotions, difficulties and ultimate triumphs of women who come out and leave the conformity of relationships or marriages with men to find their true happiness.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Revolutionary - and revelationary, Oct 15 2010
By Roseleaf - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Dear John I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women (Paperback)
As thoughtful and complex as the women who wrote it. I thoroughly savored the auto-biographical intro by co-editors Candace Walsh and Laura Andre, and have really enjoyed the stories. This whole concept of female sexual fluidity at all phases of the life span is truly exquisite - and, like any step into authenticity, a bit unsettling. I really like how Dr. Diamond, and the editors, held to the integrity of true ambiguity - no, these women were not "in denial" in their earlier lives; no, they did not have some mid-life crisis and decide to recklessly "experiment"; no, they have not discounted their former lives as false nor their former partners as one-dimensional patriarchal schmucks. As one author put it, "I was straight. Now I'm gay." Revolutionary. And revelationary. This is the new feminism - transcendent, mysterious, resilient and profoundly feminine.
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