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Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal Lies and Secrets Paperback – Feb 20 2009

3 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews

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  • Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal Lies and Secrets
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  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
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  • Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (Feb. 20 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1592856985
  • ISBN-13: 978-1592856985
  • Product Dimensions: 22.8 x 15.2 x 1.7 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 885 g
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #30,740 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

About the Author

Claudia Black has worked in the field of addictive disorders for over thirty years. Her work is seminal to the underpinnings of the codependency and trauma field. She was a pioneer in working with children from alcoholic homes and establishing the need for treating not just the addicted person, but the entire family. Claudia's workshops, training seminars and professional consultation services are presented worldwide.Working with sex addiction specialist and pioneer Patrick Carnes for six years, Claudia expanded her work with families and facilitated groups with women whose male partners' were acting out with sexually compulsive behaviors. Deceivedis Black's fourteenth book. She is best known for her book, It Will Never Happen To Me with over two million copies sold to date. Today Claudia resides in the Pacific Northwest with her husband Jack and their two dogs, Quinn and Katie.

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book was recommended to me as Claudia is associated with The Meadows Addiction Treatment Center.

I found the most interesting part of this book to contain the quotes of the sex addicts (SAs) themselves and how they belittled, controlled and verbally abused their spouses. It gave me insight into the SAs mentality.

The women cited in this book, typically the deceived betrayed partners of the SAs, were so codependent it made me sick. One woman went as far as dying her hair red because her SA was interested in redheads.

On the most part I was completely let down by this book and wanted to burn it by the end. Claudia makes a few good points which I find are easily forgotten in comparison to her bad points and lack of ability to identify blatant verbal abuse.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Well worth reading. Very insightful and helpful. Was a tough, emotional read at times but well worth every moment spent.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) HASH(0x9db23768) out of 5 stars 35 reviews
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d9d1678) out of 5 stars A Compassionate and Healing Look At Sexual Betrayal April 9 2009
By R. Glackin - Published on
Format: Paperback
Claudia Black takes you on a compassionate and healing journey through the confusion, anger and self doubt which results from sexual betrayal. Through the sharing her subjects' personal strories, Claudia explains how painful and destructive sexual betrayal is to all of those involved. She explains, that the behavior and thinking of many who have multiple affairs, parallels the behaviors and thinking of an addict.

You may ask "Why do her subjects stay when they have been betrayed?" The answers are found in family of origin dynamics.

Claudia explains how the development of a stonger self comes from facing the truth about your relationship. Through the process of recovery, you learn to live in your truth as a stonger and healthier partner.
18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d9d1870) out of 5 stars compelling book April 11 2009
By JCS - Published on
Format: Paperback
This book is excellent! Finally, a book that addresses this dark issue and brings it into the light. Unfortunately, this is a problem that is becoming more commonplace and requires some guidence. Claudia is a great guide. Decieved is comprehensive, addressing every aspect of this painful situation. Claudia Black acurately captures what it is like to be "deceived" by your partner with great compassion. She will also assists in helping you understand the underlying issues that allow you to come to resolution and heal.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d9d512c) out of 5 stars amazing and helpful book Sept. 18 2009
By Jennifer L. Lewis - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you are a woman, and feel betrayed or deceived and feel like no one will understand or knows how you feel;You need to read this book, you will not feel all alone any longer. The honesty and accuracy in which it is written just shocked and amazed me. No one wants to talk about this hurtful subject. It just helps to know you are not crazy, and not alone. Warning though; do not read in a public place! You will cry. I have a friend who has also gone through similar trials, I bought her a copy.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d9e230c) out of 5 stars Deceived April 17 2009
By drstc - Published on
Format: Paperback
As a psychologist, I find this book immensely helpful and am recommending it to patients.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d9d709c) out of 5 stars beware! Sept. 21 2014
By KC - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I cannot say enough how damaging this book is for partners of sex addicts. All it does is point fingers at the betrayed. The coaddict model is not based in the reality of the deception that occurs. It assumes knowledge of and accepting behavior on the part of the partner. This is not the case. The vast majority of sex addicts are liars and manipulators. The partners DO NOT KNOW AND DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE ADDICTION. Their actions do not accept our intensify the addiction. To lay the blame at their feet is destructive. Please read other books that use the trauma model. They do not blame the victim.