Dibs in Search of Self [Mass Market Paperback]

 

 

Create your own review

Sorry, but this book just doesn't ring true. A child this severely impaired (read the first two chapters) is not going to be cured in a few months of once-a-week play therapy sessions.
(And contrary to what one reviewer argues, there were at most fifteen to twenty sessions. Dr. Axline evaluates Dibs, meets with his mother, and after a "long and frustrating wait" begins once-a-week therapy. The fourth session was on February 21 (see page 78), and sessions ended when the school year ended for summer vacation.) I can agree the sessions helped with social skills and communication, and that this was important. This in turn seemed to lead to better interactions with his parents, an improvement which was self-perpetuating, and which in turn made all three of them happier. But neurological problems don't go away through play therapy. Whatever the reason for Dibs's recovery (if it actually happened)did not come from play therapy.

Remember, the book was written in 1964. Psychoanalysis was in the air, and Freud was viewed as some sort of guru. Read the popular as well as the psychiatric literature of the time. Implicit in Freudian theory is the notion that psychiatric disorders are rooted in early childhood experience. From this it was a quick (and prevalent) step to blaming one's parents for various neuroses and complexes.

Dr. Axline is clearly a product of her times. A little boy is non-verbal and withdrawn -- what did his parents do to make him lock himself away like this? Read her description of Dibs's tense, defensive mother on page 34. (Note that "the mother" is the only major player in the story who is not even given a name.)

I think of this mother and her pain. She and her husband are wealthy and have taken their son to a number of specialists. The professionals all eventually make clear in one way or another that she is the source of her child's problems. She wonders if they are right, and ponders the ways she might have damaged him ("he was the product of an unwanted pregnancy! It's all my fault!") OF COURSE she is tense and defensive around Dr. Axline (who in fact concurs with the other specialists that Dib's problems stem from her lousy parenting, and probably subtley conveys that attitude).

Those reviewers who read the book with warmth and delight might feel differently if they were the parent of a child like Dibs. And don't kid yourself - - it could happen to anyone. The pain of having a child with severe neuropsychiatric problems is devastating. The public stigmatization that goes along with having a child who never smiles at anyone, has explosive tantrums in public, and doesn't answer when spoken to is something you just have to get used to. Thank God for support groups.

The book is an entertaining and inspiring read for the uninitated, but hurtful to those dealing with an real life mentally ill child. As to those reviewers who are in the psychological profession, don't you think that whatever faint value comes from the pleasure this book brings to the uneducated, (or its teachings on the value of non-judgmental and child directed play) is surely outweighed by all the years of useless but expensive play therapy furnished to autistic children as a result? And how about the stigmatization of the parents that results from this type of literature?

I'm sure I sound like a tense, angry and defensive mother myself at this point! But that's the Catch-22 you find yourself in if you have an autistic child. If you know more about your child than the person treating him, you are seen as rigid, hypercritical and controlling. Medical research you do concerning your son's condition is seen as evidence of your tendency to coldly intellectualize his problems. And if a book like Dibs brings you to tears of frustration and empathy -- well that just shows how emotionally unstable you are. I wish this book would go out of print.

What could have caused a 5-year-old child with an IQ of 168 to clam up and stop talking, playing or laughing? Virginia Axline, author of 'Play Therapy' finds out as she records the progress of Dibs in this book that has since become a child therapy classic. A review in Amazon.com held forth that Dibs is autistic, but it is clear to me that he is not. Dibs is a child who deliberately withheld speech and affection as a means of self-defense against his cold, unloving, high- achieving and demanding parents and their battery of tests to prove him gifted. He does not suffer a neurological disorder nor is he autistic.
This remarkably moving and honest book gives credit not to the therapist/author for having worked a miracle, rather, it is the child and his inner strength and resolve that are given praise. The amazingly articulate child acts out his anger through his play of dolls. In a poignant part, Dibs reverses the parent-child role and 'makes' a 'mother' doll build a mountain upon the instruction of the 'boy' doll.
"It is too hard to do," said Dibs. "Nobody can build a mountain. But I'll make her do it. She'll have to build the mountain and do it right. There is a right way and wrong way of doing things and you will do it the right way."
After some thought, he decided he would help the 'mother' and not impose such an onerous task on her. He talks of love and caring for his mother and sister. This shows that Dibs, despite his frustration, fear and anger, has great capacity for compassion, empathy and forgiveness. The therapy sessions with his non-judgmental therapist helped Dibs be aware of his feelings and of matters within and without his control.
Having learned it is all right to be a child and to be himself, Dibs unlocked the doors in his life and introduced himself to the world of other children. The doors of affection, acceptance and understanding that had been closed to him by his rigid, compulsive, scientist parents were opened after Dibs realized he need not fear the censure of his therapist and when his parents, after his mother's two surreptitious meetings with the therapist, decide to open up too and allow their children to grow and learn naturally without pressure and constant criticism. Dibs proved himself a real hero when he identified himself with a grownup doll and declared himself 'big, strong and not afraid any more'. He went on to be a
sociable, intelligent child with a keen love for nature and other people. The author recalls with pleasure how Dibs, at age 15, wrote a letter to his school newspaper to protest the dismissal of his classmate. He wrote with conviction and a strong sense of justice. The letter was signed: 'With sincerity and intent to act, I am, sincerely yours, Dibs.' Such is the integrity and leadership qualities of an admirable child who at one point was labeled mentally retarded. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the emotional development of children.

This book doesn't blame anyone's parents for mental illness. I read this book while getting a psych degree in college and it stood out for the real care and empathy the author feels for her patient. She draws no conclusions about Dibs' parenting- she is disappointed that his parents are not as involved in the care and therapy of Dibs as she might wish. Axline finds expressions of the universal struggles of growing up in Dibs and tries to be of help. She works with Dibs and doesn't just give him a label and dismiss him as unreachable. Any resemblance of Dibs' problems to the modern diagnosis of autism is missing the point of the book entirely.

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review

› See all 46 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

 

5.0 out of 5 stars What really heals...
The best definition I know of therapy I didn't find in any scholarly
treatise or in the works of Freud, Lacan, Buber or Carl Rogers, but in
the very simple -and very... Read more

Published 5 months ago by Un lector

4.0 out of 5 stars Summary and Review
"Dibs in Search of Self" is the story of a little boy named Dibs and his struggle to open himself up to the world. Read more

Published on Jan 3 2004 by lilguy8656

1.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful fiction. Move on, people...
There was a time Freud was considered an genius; we now know that his theories were grossly inaccurate. Read more

Published on July 10 2003 by Scott Riley

5.0 out of 5 stars good book
This was a really insightful book. I agree that Dibs probably did have an autism spectrum disorder. Read more

Published on July 8 2003 by J. Kerrigan

5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT BOOK!!!!!!!
Dibs in Search of Self by Virgina M. Axline is fantastic book about the therapy of a young boy named Dibs. Dibs won't talk or play with the kids in his kindergarden class. Read more

Published on Jun 28 2003

2.0 out of 5 stars Axline AND Dibs' mother are both victims...
...of an inaccurate perspective. In terms of writing quality and emotional "pull," this book deserves 5 stars. Read more

Published on May 18 2003 by Susan Shedd

1.0 out of 5 stars Are we honestly saying . . .?
That is exactly what I'm saying. You are a psych student -- look at the DSM-IV criteria for autistic disorder. Read more

Published on May 6 2003

5.0 out of 5 stars wait a second...
are you people honestly saying that by reading a condensed version of therapy sessions you can diagnose a child with 100% accuracy? Read more

Published on April 29 2003 by tlc226

3.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful, captivating, misleading and outdated.
This is indeed a beautiful and fascinating read. I totally agree with the "A reader from Rhode Island" however. Read more

Published on Mar 13 2003

3.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful, captivating, misleading and outdated.
This is indeed a beautiful and fascinating read. I totally agree with "A reader from Rhode Island" however. Read more

Published on Mar 13 2003

Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

› See all 46 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

Search Listmania!