Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed Paperback – Mar 1 2008
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From Publishers Weekly
Everyone knows a narcissist, one of those vainglorious individuals in desperate need of constant affirmation and attention. Cognitive therapist Behary's book argues that by modifying your own behavior, you can manage your relationship with such a person. Separating narcissism into categories (spoiled, dependent, deprived and combinations thereof) and exploring the causes of the disorder, the author hopes to assist the reader in overcoming the emotional obstacles involved in interaction with a boss, spouse, friend or relative. Rather than focus on changing the narcissist (which may be impossible), this book aims to help the reader improve self-knowledge to see why the narcissist pushes his or her buttons and how to cope. Some of the instruments Behary provides—such as checklists, flash cards, journal writing— are useful for determining the type of narcissist you are dealing with and how your past experiences affect your responses. The author acknowledges that her book is no panacea, and she doesn't present the reader with strategies for when the narcissist isn't responsive to the actions she has suggested. Notwithstanding this caveat, Behary's book will surely provide help to many in need of a confidence bolster in the face of provocation. (Mar.)
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"For the practicing clinician there is perhaps no other group of clients more difficult to work with or that generates more fear and feelings of inadequacy than narcissists. In Disarming the Narcissist, Behary has provided both the theoretical knowledge and practical advice necessary for clinicians to understand, empathize and, thus, help this challenging group of clients and their partners. Her "disarmingly" straightforward, accessible style and impressive clinical experience make this a very valuable book indeed."--William M. Zangwill, Ph.D., director of EMDR AssociatesSee all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
I admit that this sounds harsh, and perhaps I feel this way because I've done a lot of reading in this area already and was hoping for something unique (which I didn't find); but I've also done my share of professional technical writing. This book was bad on both counts: it seemed to have little unique to contribute, and to be written by someone who was in love with hearing themselves speak. (Though there was at least some grim ironic pleasure in that final thought, given the subject of the book.)
For comparison, the other books I read around the same time were:
"Understanding The Borderline Mother" by Lawson
"The Narcissistic Family" by Pressman and Donaldson-Pressman
"Reinventing Your Life" by Young and Klosko and
"Stop Walking On Eggshells, Second Edition" by Kreger and Mason.
I'd give the first three all 8/10, SWOE 5 or 6/10, and this book 3/10.
Most recent customer reviews
Loved the exercises and the the focus on both parties. Its deflects from all the negative and self defeating approaches but gives hopePublished 6 months ago by Swazijesh
This book is very helpful for an informed insight about oneself, if the reader is so inclined. I had a feeling that the author is intending to help us to uncover our own... Read morePublished 7 months ago by Milada